Update and Renovate

Starting today- I will be helping the Tobias' and they will be helping me-

Marcus' room and bathroom is getting a minimakeover- sports for his room- surfboards for his bathroom.

Adam and Chris are coming over to fix a few minor things and helping me paint the bathroom- tall ceilings - too high for me- yes I have a slight fear of heights- I will go up on things but not if I do not have too- and get this I love to fly - go figure.

Then after we tackle a few things here we go to the Tobias house- where Chris and Sarah's room are getting totally redone- I mean totally- in the mix I am meeting myparents to pick up Marcus today- he behaved very well and on the phone last night he told me he was goin gto listen until he got to high school- I am hopeful :)

I will include pictures of the makeover from both houses - We hope to be done by Tuesday and then just chill out the remainder of the week we shall see- We have a lot of paint to cover at the Tobias household.

Turning Chris' room into Sarah's room and turning Sarah's room into a home office/guest room

I will keep you posted on the progress.

You see these type of projects are how I relax of love home improvement-

It's the Most Wonderful Day of the Year

Okay it is the most wonderful day of the year- Christmas is over- okay do not go there my friends - I love the season and I love to celebrate Christmas and Christ's birth- but in all honesty I want my son back to normal or as normal as he gets- and guess what my mom said he is having a wonderful day- he is doing nothing at their house but watching TV and chillin- it is the most wonderful day of theyear-

I have to work thes 3 days but will be picking him up on Saturday.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas day- we did - Marcus had a few bumpy moments but it was all good.

Run down of my highlights:

1. Watching a video @ 7 in the morning about behaving with Marcus- it was good - it is by Max Lucado and it was the one he wanted- really it was.

2. Marcus taking a nap from 9;30-11:30

3. Opening Santa gifts and his favorite was a slinky that was in his stocking- for the portable CD player. He also like the remote jeep grannie and papaw got him- Clarence the cat liked it to.

4. Seeing the Tobias'-

5. Watching the eyes of the kids when it was something they really liked- Marcus and his scooby doo underwear-

6. Being crowded in my living room ( I live in a townhouse) with 5 adults- 3 children - 2 dogs over 80 lbs and 3 cats (1 upstairs)

7. Hanging outside with the family

8. Marcus reading the story of the birth of Jesus before dinner- He did an Awesome job I was very proud.

9. Everyone leaving and going to bed for some sleep- hey 4 hours of sleep I was tired.

My favorite gifts (not in any particular order)

1. my dining room table

2. ice cream sundae stuff

3. my black frames- I am redoing my frames

4. My homemade ornament and candle holder

(today is the most wonderful day)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Yes I have been up since 4 am not by my choosing and not because my son thought he would run downstairs- no he once again was singing to Jesus in bed- I love the fact he wants to sing to Jesus - however at 4 am - it is very tiring since he does wake me up-

Anyway- let us not focus on the bad choices - today is Christmas-

Help us all to remember the reason why we celebrate this day

Jesus came down to earth as a babe - born in a manger. Have you thought about that? Have you ever seen an animal food trough? They are dirty- filthy- no sterility at all-trust me I have been around enough animals to know no matter how much you clean their food bowls they are never clean enough- Anyway- he sacrificed himself to come as a baby- he humbled himself to come to us as a baby-

How much more do we need to ask for- He was born in a manger- a food trough- a barn-

Would you want your child to be born in a barn? No we (me no I went to a courthouse) go to the hospital where it is all clean and tidy- someone comes in- cleans up the mess and wraps the baby up all tidy.

This year I keep being brought back to the barn- the food trough-the filthy conditions of a barn. He humbled Himself that much for me- He truly is a Loving, Gracious and Caring God. Help me to always remember how much You Love Us.

Merry Christmas Everyone- Take time for Jesus today- Happy Birthday Jesus

Christmas Communion Service

Well today was not too bad up until about 700 tonight-then it got ugly- we will NOT focus on that though

Tonight was communion service at our church - I had never been and decided we would go-

I am glad we did- I was not sure if Marcus knew what the bread and wine (juice ) represented but we talked about it and he did. He amazes me sometimes-

Marcus turned into this shy person- it was a little different then he was used to. It was his first communion ever- he was so cute. Pastor Larry ( PDs dad) and Pastor Deanna gave us communion and then prayed for us- when they were done praying Marcus was crying - took me a few minutes to understand what he was saying - he said Jesus died- I said yes he did but He is a live he rose from the dead - tomorrow we celebrate his birth-PD spoke with him too.

Not sure lately he is very sensitive about Jesus- God must be getting ready for something-

We left and turned up the Gaither Christmas in South Africa on the way home a looked at lights - he was amazed - He said mommy I have a question- okay what is it- How do they get those lights on the house -A ladder probably- oh yes a ladder he says-

So cute- so innocent at times-

I did get the table done so there will be pictures later this week-

Merry Christmas everyone- You are loved

Silence in the house

Ahh it is quiet- just the sound of me typin gof my keys Marcus is still asleep- thank you Jesus- just so equiet before the day begins-

last minute stuff to do- I want to go to the store first thing and get a few things- I want to set my table all pretty- have not had that opportunity before- PD thanks for the inspiration- you have an influence on me more then you know.

Anyway- run to a few stores- then home- Tobias' may be out today not sure though-for our Christmas together- this year has seem a little chaotic but okay- Brenda got deathly ill - really I am serious- Saturday AM got a phone from Adam - guess where we are- I said the hospital ( they have been there a few time this year so I was not surprise) of course I was surprised when he said it was Brenda- anyway she was very sick through the night- Severly dehydrated-Her K+ level had bottomed out and they had to give her more- I will not go into what could happen if your K+ drops too low let us just say by the grace of God nothing major happened.

So she is Fine Now- they were going to come over last evening but went to Adam's sisters instead cause they were going to go Saturday but that went out the window- Then they were coming here Sunday Night and they were not back til I am sure after 9 ish. Tonight they go to Adam's brothers and then tomorrow my family comes to my house. We will get together- I just hope before Wednesday cause Marcus is goin to grannie and papaws for a few days and then Chris and Sarah are going to Gainesville- Chris to go to school Sarah to go to Grandmas

So what are my plans-

clean the litter boxes - tidy up the house - finish the last bit of laundry - Vaccuum Marcus's room- set the table- finish wrapping presents- go to the store-

Thank goodness I do not have to cook- I need to learn though- oh I do okay

Like the other night- I was proud of myself- I made liver and onions, green beans and mashed potatoes- yes Marcus likes liver and I have liked it since I was his age- it use to baffle the meat people when I would ask for it.

Chow for now - I will let you know how the day goes and post somepictures of the table

Please take the sharp object from my right temple

That is how I felt since 5:30 this morning until about 1:30 this afternoon. Marcus woke up at 5:30 and was in one of those moods of not listening- wore me out before service- So I went to Sunday School with a migraine- I was prepared to teach and taught I did although I know it was not my best effort- I let the kids know before I started I had a migraine-they pushed my buttons a little to much today-

Okay I am going to vent here -prepare yourself- You go to Sunday School you would think you would take your Bible with you right- yes you would - because after Sunday school is church service where believe it or not we read from the bible. For those of you who attend my church please talk with your high schoolers and junior highers about bringing their bibles- oh they tried to blame parents and they tried to say they got up early but they need to take responsibility for themselves to bring their Bibles!

So got into service and really I was not feeling great - sorry Pastor Larry my focus was not on your message but the sharp object in my right temple- It got so bad I thought I was going to okay throw up. but I usually don't - I got out to the car and Adam and the kids were talking and it hurt so bad I was crying- but I had to be somewhere my nieces bday party (got some meds and drove to Clearwater)- she gets left out cause it is so close to Christmas and she was so excited to see me when I got there.


We got home about 5 and now it is just a dull ache- so I am feeling much better- Tobias' were suppose to come over but not sure if they are cause it is 6:25 now. Marcus got a lot better as the day progressed

It will be just him and I tomorrow ( we will be making cookies for Santa - I think white frosted are his favorite ) and the night so I plan on going out to dinner and then going to church for prayer and communion- I have not taught him about communion yet cause he still is getting the concept of baby Jesus. Then it will be him and I Christmas morning- I was hoping to have my parents be there for Santa but they will arrive a little later in the morning and then the Cole's will be here.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh- it is Friday Night

Good evening my friends- well you never know what the week will hold with a child who has ADHD and PTSD- we went from wild man on Monday to him making a lovely ornament and candle holder to a semi wild man early Friday morning.

I know this week was related to the last week before vacation for a couple of weeks.

Well I increased his medication and he seems more focused- less agigtated but it has only been 2 days. He had a fun time in school yesterday - they made gingerbread houses - parents were asked to come in and help their child but I could not - we had surgeries from 7:30 until 2 ish and I neede to help cause there were 4 big animals all over 100lbs. One bit my foot all in love - he was not mean or anything just wanted to see how I tasted - he was using my foot as a pacifier. Of course now I have a nice bruise on it- Got love those critters.

I asked Marcus how things went and if other parents were not there- he said they were all there - oh I felt very small then 5 minutes later he said no there were several parents not there. still the life of a single mom can not be in 2 places at one time- if a little more notice would have been given that would have been great - then I could have adjusted my schedule oh well it is done and over.

This morning he was a pistol- we had to call papaw (thanks Papaw) and he got him under control as we were driing to Kids r Kids-- he apologized and said he would be better - He has a few consequences which he is not happy about but hey I made him choose his consequences and I tell him that.

So all the not so good stuff here is what the good stuff is.

I was so exicted to open my first homemade ornament from him and candle holder- This is the first year he has done something like this. It made me smile from ear to ear - you know your a mom when you get one of these- okay I am sure there are other ways to know your a mom but this is my moment.

This is our 3rd Christmas together- the first 2 he had no clue- this year he has a clue- the true meaning and the Santa- yes I do Santa- it is part of growing up - as long as you have the true meaning - We still do Santa with my parents he still signs the package cards - although sometime Santa forgets and then it is a guessing game of what and who it is for. we laugh about it. We watched a couple fo fun movies this season and last week we watched the Nativity- I am not sure if any of you have seen it-for me it was very good and Marcus (even though it might have been too much) he saw it was about baby Jesus.

I will get my gift from Santa tomorrow a new dining room table can not wait- it is counter height and will be able to sit 6 (has a leaf to open)- I have a small table now works great but I fell in love with this -you never know who I might invite over for dinner- hey though feel free to come who ever wants to- but realize I am not a cook so bring something

.

This was my day

Marcus go to your room- Marcus face the wall- Marcus stop yelling at mean- Marcus you are making bad choices- Marcus quit grunting yes grunting-
The Dr called he was not in the office and he said to call first thing in the morning - I said I will do that-
I noticed today well actually the last several days we have had trouble- he points to his head and sends ugh like he is unable to focus again- so this for me will indicate he needs a little more meds on board.

okay I am tired - emotionally exhausted- this too shall pass- this too shall pass- this too shall pass-

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I will be fine- God will help me Thank you Jesus for helping me I need thee oh I need thee

High Anxiety >>>>

This is how my Monday started-

It is really not how I wanted to do the morning- in fact I am at home- Marcus was out of control- I am exhausted- emotionally and physically- he wears me out- I need to start working out again-

So I am home today with my defiant- hurtful young man- he hit me today which is unusual- he did not want to do what was asked of him and I could not allow him to stay at Kids r Kids and not be safe- or go to school and not be safe- I have a phone call in to the Dr- he has been like this for 3 days not all day but more and more- maybe need to increase his meds again-

I will blog later

Summary of the week

It seemed this week went on forever- here is the run down of what it has been like

Monday- Marcus had a school performance -he did very well- I would like to place pictures in here but none turned out- I will be getting the DVD though. His teacher said he was the only one to know all the words and actions to the songs of all the classes. Hmmmmmm - entertainer or better yet praise and worship leader-

Tuesday-We stayed at home and watched a Christmas movie

Wednesday was an odd day- I was set to go to JBQ practice but Marucs fell asleep early- Monday night caught up with him I guess. We had to pick up gifts from a coworker for the foster kids- work gave gifts to some teens through the organization Marcus was adopted from.

Then Thursday was the day he had a rough one from start to finish- From the time he woke up til the time he went to bed. At home he wanted no business listening- I thought he got it together before I left him at Kids r Kids .Kids R Kids- he ran through the facility - I had to be called- someone made fun of him what I understand- that is what kicked of that. Then at school he had a few problems one of which he had to be removed from the classroom - he was kicking chairs over. He screamed in the car- I had to restarin him to get him in the car- because he ran from me and hid in the gym at kid r kids- he wanted to play longer - we had to go deliver the gifts this day. So grannie, Uncle Adam , and Aunt Lori all got phone calls because I was not getting through to him of course no one was around- so I began to pray - and turn on praise and worship after a few minutes he was quiet- I was mean and not nice and all the other fun things kids say to you. The day progressed with him not listening about his HW and throwing several meltdowns at home before finally finishing at 8 pm - way past his bedtime.

Friday- good day -

We both came home from work and school and fell asleep- he actually woke up to go to the bathroom and went right back to bed- He needs rest- he goes and goes and goes then out of energy

I sent in his paperwork to begin his evaluations- so we shall see where we go- I do not want his academics affected by this- I informed of that- gave them information to contact his pyschologist and psychiatrist. Hopefully this will be resolved sooner then later.

Well - I have been studying for SS - it should be good- I have a few object things to do- and a CD to give away.

Here is a picture of my tree- it has purple bows, ornaments, white snowflakes, ice thingys. with purple and white lights

The 5 love languages of Children part 1

This is a book written by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell-

I am not much of a reader but this past week or so I have been reading 2 different books to change my life for the better- to get a better understanding of things.

Here is some information - that has helped me so much- better understand why Marcus is Marcus-

The emotional foundation of life is laid in the first 18 months of life- particularly the mother - child relationship. The food for future emotional health is physical touch- kind words- and tender care. hmmmmmmm- why does Marcus love hugs so much and to be near me so- he was lacking it-

The foundation of love laid in the early years affects a child's ability to learn and largely determine when they are able to grasp new information. Many children go to school ill prepared because they have not reached the emotional levels of maturity- hmmmmmm again.

Marcus missed out on alot - and it is taking time-Marcus from what I gather from the book and the answers he gave- and also stepping back and really assessing- is a child that loves the physical touch- I know you all say duh-hugs, kisses, high fives, taps on the head, back rubs, head massages all of which express love to children. He also is a child that exhibits acts of service - this means he likes when others do nice things for him such as helping with chores, helping with school projects, or driving them places-We teach them how to serve themselves. and myself and those around us can be role models as how to serve others.

Good book- still reading still learning-

PD and Melissa- the day

Both of these wonderful people are pastors- PD your blog was amazing today-last night
Melissa your email was very helpful-

My day today is not really planned out- I have cleaning to do and some shopping - Marcus is still asleep - for a change on a Saturday-maybe I will do my running around mid morning- not sure I will get back to you- WE have one more Christmas gift to get - for pa paw then we are done yeah!!! I need to finish the cards- Marcus chose them and he signed his name in all of them and picked who would get them - I added a few in there-

I will write more later on somethings that I have been thinking about -and reading about
Have a good one

Emotional - Stressful

Not sure why this is stressing me- I believe it will be a good thing- it is what he needs-
I am babbling- the behavior specialist from school I spoke with- Marcus needs additional help- he is having outbursts and having trouble with authority. Not doing what he is asked to do. Then kicking things and running away (ran from the teacher at recess today)

I know this will be good for him- he will be evaluated and the necessary procedures will occur- he will get an IEP. I have already put in motion the psychologist and psychiatrist to contact the school and speak with them.

So I have a meeting at the school on Thursday at 3 - pray for us - me - Marcus will be fine and I will be too- not sure what I am feeling- just here we go again I guess- oh no change in school thank goodness- probably a change partially with the teacher-

I broke down in tears on the way to pick himup from Kids r Kids - just a way of getting rid of stress I guess

One day at a time

We have been doing devotions together every night this week and more quality time in the evenings -praying more for him - I have been reading a book- and trying things - so we shall see how it goes- Tonight we did a devotion on frustrations and how to deal with them- how we deal with them-
He says he yells and crys and hits things. but he says the best way is to let the Lord help you- we read several scripture verses on how to deal with things-

Okay going to go read my Sunday school book --thanks Brenda for yours- mine for those that know about them - was eaten by my dog yesterday while I was at work- I was almost done with it-
Have a good evening

Today...

was a great day for Marcus- work for me was good- busy surgery day
then I get back to my office at 2:45 ( I leave at 3) and there are 2 messages from Adam on my work phone - a text message on my cell phone and a voice message with his cell number as the return number- of course this sent me into oh no what has happened - I was calm
Called him- whatever you need me to do. Sarah was at the emergency room since this morning- can you help and go get Brenda- whatever you need I said.
So I ran and got Brenda ran and got Marcus went and let my dog out and started for St Joesphs Hospital- it sounded like appendicitis- You see Adam was there since early this morning-
but everything came back normal - we were half way there and he said go to the house they are discharging her- okay-
then we were almost at the house and he called- he said hang there for a little while she just vomited again-
okay so all is well for now- she was discharged with some nausea meds and needs to follow up with her Dr tomorrow- maybe viral-
So we were a little out of schedule but Marcus did so well- I told him what was going on and he said can I pray for Sarah- absoultely - He loves Sarah. Shoot he loves the whole Tobias Family- He asked about Chris tonight.
So the Tobias's are all home- we are home- Marcus is out very quickly--
I am getting ready to go read- I am not much of a reader but I am hooked on this book that Bernie and Lisa gave at the CE dinner and I am hooked on the 5 laguages of love for children- very good very insightful-I started it last night and I see Marcus in a few of the scenarios the book talks about-
So have a good evening keep Sarah in your prayers-

Peace Peace Wonderful Peace Coming Down from the Father Above

Oh what a wonderful time I had at our CE dinner- so peaceful - so rejuvenating- so thought provoking-so peaceful- did I say that-
I stayed fairly late-and just sat on the porch talking with a few others that stayed- it is so quiet on Bernie and Lisa's porch-
As I was driving home I had a smile on my face and felt so peaceful inside- that has been missing for a while.
I got home and was reading my lesson for Sunday School and then pulled out my new lessons- well I did the new lesson today- On leadership- oh my I have work to do- Oh I know I have been in leadership but wow - I need to increase it- I apologized to the youth in Sunday School for not being a better leader and I was going to work on it.
I was up til 2 this am just conversing with God- It was truly amazing- I woke up at 5 and continued the conversation - went back to sleep and up at 7. I went into Sunday School about 8:30 to review the new lesson I was doing- I was driving in and was very peaceful having a conversation with God - started to cry-not really sure why but did.
Spoke with Bernie and told what an impact last night was on my life-right now and started to cry-
Sunday School was pretty good- I got asked with some challenging questions which I posed to the wiser ones-
Went and picked Marcus up -had a good day up until it was time to go get a shower- I do not want one he said- well 20 minutes later we were having a discussion and he went up and got a shower-
Afterwards we did a devotion and then prayed together for about 15-20 minutes - it was only going to be a few minutes but it was longer then I anticipated- it was very calming and very peaceful- I sensed God working on Marcus and I as I prayed for him- I always pray with my hands on him and it was just very peaceful -
Now I am going to do my study- will talk about that in a couple a weeks- pray about it though-

Do you hear it? no

It is called silence- it has been about 6 hours since we met up with my sister- I was able to do shopping - Santa shopping- and clean the car out and take a nap- ahhh a nap it was lovely- sat and watched a movie about a dog- and now getting ready for our CE dinner- with only adults - I am not sure I will know how to behave although the adults can get more rambunctious then the kids at times. It is a fun time

The best news of the day is Marcus has not been in trouble- yeah!!!!!! We had a wonderful morning of chores -it is our Saturday thing to do- he did what he was asked to do with out talking back- I got my haircut while he read his clubhouse Jr magazine ( good magazine for kids his age) it is from Focus on the Family. We were in and out-

You know with the week we had - I just want to say- he is an amazing child- really and truly- we were at Target and he was reading all the signs he could possibly read- he loves to read- I love that-

Ainsley got her hair cut today for locks of love- here is her before and after pictures- she is so cute with the new cute

I was brought to tears twice today

- I wish I was there for him at this age-


My son- this morning thought he would be funny and not listen- many of you have not seen this side of him- he thinks he is all cute and funny and speaking like a baby- I was trying to talk with him about having a good day and such and he would not have any part of it-so I called on Aunt Lori and Uncle Stacy - let us review this is at 5:55 in the morning-there was no way I was taking him into the center like this- Stacy talked and then Lori called back- he talked with her and seemed to settle down- then he talked with me said he was going to have a good day.


Great - Love you smooch - have a great day.


Cried on my way to work- oh and before I left at 6:11 I had him call my boss to inform her I was running late because of his choices- you see it is 20 minutes to work from where I was and I needed to be at work at 6:30.


So I pick him up in the afternoon- and what does the after school teacher tell me- he just bit someone why cause the other person would not get off of him- oh I am not happy because I had already read is behavior chart from school- he again tripped a child today.


Then I brought him inside from the playgorund after practicallu dragging him in to speak with him and he went off on a tantrum - leave me alone -I just wanted to talk- so I ended up having to carry him out all the while him yelling let me go and me saying when you can make a good choice I will. Lori wanted me to call so I did when we got in the car. Marcus was screaming like a baby and sucking his fingers when I meaning screaming I mean screaming-


Thank goodness my sister was able to talk him out because at this point I was furious- she was talking I was calming-


He quieted down- I drove home silently he wanted to talk I said when I am calm I will talk but right now I am very angry- silence on the way home- 2nd time I began to cry.we talked it out when we got home- I was blantly honest with him about how he made the choices and how sad and tired I am from this week- how I have had a headache pretty much all week- no exaggeration this is true. I did a little demo which I think woke him up- I kicked his back pack- and said Marcus this is what I am feeling like you are kicking me around like I am kicking your back pack- not taking care of it. We talked and then the consequences took place


Sentence writing and scripture writing about how to deal with anger, lying (he did that too), body parts to ourselves, and the las one was MArcus is gracious and compassionate slow to anger and rich in love- I reiterated that I love him but not his choices and that God created you to be kind, caring and compassionate and not hurtful.


Okay God what am I learning this time?


I know this is a time of regression for him but it is taking its toll on me- I can feel it emotional, physically and spiritually (thank goodness my work computer gets a praise and worship station-that helped so much today). His psychologist said he would go through it and since the holidays are upon us and things for him are so overstimulating - I just need to realize it- but sometimes I forget so for those of you reading this please feel free to remind me. This too shall pass right PD- this too shall pass.


Breathe in Breathe out


one more thing that is getting my goat and I think this may be a source of the problem- he is not getting his meds at the right time - hello for those of you who have seen him with out meds either in the morning or later then he is suppose to have them- we have a wild man on our hands. so an email went out promptly today to address that.


okay to bed I go - I get to sleep in yeah-!!!

Time for adults

Okay - I need time with adults so I am so looking forward to our CE dinner on Saturday - can we have it tomorrow night instead- I doubt it I know- it is okay all the more to enjoy the time without a child- I love him but I need sometime with adults-

In fact I will have about 24 hours with out him yes my wonderful sister and brother in law are watching him ahhhhhh.

Marcus had another rough day today so he is in his room writing on how he should have behaved- and scripture verses too.

James 1:20
A man's anger doesn't produce the kind of life God wants

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay we were having a good run and today I pick Marcus up and ask him how his day went- great 11 stickers/stars earned- went to the gorcery store had a good time there and then the phone rang which changed the entire rest of the evening-

I am sooo angry right now hence I am writing- he got mad with his teacher because she was correcting him abut putting is hiney in another child's face - so he scratched the teacher bit the teacher - it took 2 of them to restrain him. and this happened 3 minutes before the bell.

ARGGGH- so the principal said because of the rules he needed to be suspended ugh- tomorrow ugh ugh- we talked and she allowed ISS half a day and then OSS the other half- thanks Margi- my wonderful boss- she understands completely .

Marcus and I talked - I had him write an apology to the teacher- I just want to take everything away from him- the computer- drums- baseball(we have not started it yet- I do not want to give it to him now)

I feel what have I done wrong - We have done so well since September and now this-I know it is not true but sitting at the table with him I went I failed somewhere- just how I am feeling right now so hold on- it will pass- I did not make the choice for him to bite his teacher and scratch her so that was all him- just aggravated with him cause I KNOW HE KNOWS BETTER.

breathe in breathe out- "SIGH"

Thanksgiving Pictures and family photos

This is my sister and my parents this Thanksgiving- the building in the back is where our horses are.

The dogs playing while Marcus and Ainsley were playing a game- the madness of it all

One moment the kids were all quiet and watching TV in grannie and papaws room- ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Marcus reading to Papaw- how precious- I love it

The Danielsons- Papaw, Grannie, Marcus, and me- my sister I took her and therest of the Cole Family - I only have one of those and may post at a later date but for now- All of us in this photo have the same last name.

Thanksgiving Meal

We will have our Thanksgiving meal today in Venice- We were all unable to get down here until today- Marcus and I were fortunate to be able to have 5 days off - so we came down- He has had some trouble adjusting- he tends to do that when our schedule is off kilter- but yesterday and today seems to be much better- little meltdown the last 2 mornings but all else is fine-
okay I said I would never do it but I did get up too early yesterday and went to the stores - Brenda - I still say you all are crazy for doing it- I will not do it again.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving- Stay safe-
Talk to you soon

Ouch and Happy Thanksgiving and USF game

Ouch because I went to the dentist today- had to have a broken tooth fixed- I broke it and had appt back in September but that was also the day I was in the car accident- so it is fixed yeah but it hurts - I think I even cried a little at the dentist- it was numb but still hurt-


Happy Thanksgiving-

I am so thankful for my family- my friends and especially God for His strength and guidance daily.

I was scheduled to work tomorrow - but thankfully I do not need to go in- I am so grateful


The USF game was a success and here are some pictures ( I will add later)to prove it- he was so surprised and so was Sarah- they both had a good time.

It has been a while

I know I have not written in a while but the last 2 weeks I went from chest congestion to nasal congestion and have been asleep before 9 most nights-

I have so enjoyed reading PDs chronicles of Kenya- When can I go with you is all I can say- I want to go back to Africa so much- many of what you have written about PD had happened when we were there 11 years ago. One day I will return

Well this is a very significant weekend- why you ask? Let me set the day- well it was yesterday-2 years ago not the date but the day Friday- National Adoption Day. we arived at the downtown Tampa Courthouse about 8 ish or so. We had special speakers- Grannie, Papaw, Aunt Lori, Uncle Stacy, the cousins, Uncle Adam, Aunt BRenda, Pastors Larry and Deanna, Aunt Bekah, Renee, Leslie and the girls were all present to witness the miracle- and we waited and waited- and waited- it was all so special- the Judge called our name and I did my I will take care of him thing - got our pictures done and became a FOREVER Family

Here is the entire family after the signing

The Balloon Says it ALL!- His life and mine will never be the same

Sunday is the actual day- We have our Thanksgiving Dinner at Church that day- I am truly Thankful- I know I stress out and complain- I am working on that-

I am thankful for my life changing- do I like the days where he goes off the deep end no. But you know so much has changed for both of us over the last 2 years- I have grown as a person- my heart goes out to single moms- my heart goes out to special needs parents- My fight for my child and his schooling - sometimes I am amazed as I look back and see where we have come from - we he has grown not physically but emotionally and spiritually- me where I have grown emotionally and spiritually- My strength comes from God, my wonderful families (extended and church- you all are the best) my work family-

I can honestly say gone are the days where I will be hit or have a stool thrown at me- gone are the days where melt downs are not everyday- He is so intelligent so loving so caring- so much fun- he is a source of hope and success.

I know we will have rough moments - we had one this morning. I think more is part of being a kid - but I still need to stay on my toes- Consistency- is so important for him-

We have soccer today and then we are going to the USF game it is Faculty and Staff appreciation night- however I have a special surprise of going on the field before the game. I will take pictures and post them at a later date.

Thank you all for celeberating this time with us- you all are apart of our success of being a family- YOU ARE LOVED!!

I am still here- lots to go over but....

Yes I am a live - however I was stricken with something in my chest and it seemed to settle and it is still there- hopefully it will pass-
Marcus had a great week at school and by the end of the week he was listening at home- we had a good bible quiz meet- his first one- he answered 4 questions- I was very proud of him- I think he was a little nervous but that is okay-

One of the leaders from the churches that attend has been going through quite a bit- just remember the Valentins in your prayers - they have had a Job experience over the course of the last several months- from the death of there daughter- son having a tumor- their house being broken into- and Saturday an uncle passing away- just pray for them. I know God will tend to them and wrap their arms around them

Working on somethings God has spoken to me about - it is going tobe good
More on that later on-
Time for bed-
PD if you read this before you get back- I am picturing everything you talk about in Kenya so vividly- you are missed-and loved - enjoy your time- it sounds so wonderful - makes me want to go all the more.

I am proud to be his momma

Okay I know I tell a lot about our difficult days- but they are fewer and farther between- and today was one of those days I was so very proud

We had Bible Quiz practice today- Marcus has missed the ones on Wednesday just cause he is exhausted and most of the time attitudinal (cause by the exhaustion) - Hey do you blame him out of the house by 5:40 am and goes to school all day-

Anyway we had practice today - I was quiz mastering and let me tell you he answered many- he was having a good match and at one point I had to slow down reading and get refocused- cause I had tears yes tears in my eyes- I am so proud of him - Right now as I type this I am beaming- it makes up for all the difficult times- he is learning so much from the Bible just in the 10 point questions- me too I might add- I can answer pretty much all of the ones he studies- you see we have a contest usually to or from school sometimes both- we have a 20 minute drive so we study that way- he amazes me- I think wow 2 year ago he did not know his ABCs- colors - shapes or had manners- now he is reading above level- can color wonderfully- manners are so far from where we began-

Lately he has been reading his Bible and we talk about what it means- he is so very smart- he gets the intelligence from me you know- and the good looks

He drew me a picture in Sunday School- made me smile with pride- See it here below

It was a good day today!!!!

Well it is Sunday and we had a good Saturday for the most part- We had soccer at 8 am - Marcus got an attitude because he had to sub out- all the kids have to do it at one point- We had talked about it before and he said he understood- however I think we need to go over it again- Then we ran and did some errands he fell asleep on the way home- so he took a nap after nap we went for a 2 mile bile ride- it was nice-I plan on going today after JBQ practice too.

Chris came home from UF and we hung out with him for awhile last night- Uncle Adam, Sarah, Chris , and Marcus all got into a wrestling match. Then at some point it was dog pile on me- how that happen I am not sure. We had a good time went to eat at Don Pablos in Brandon- it was soooooooo yummy- Chris was hungry for Tacos-

So this morning my son has been a pistol- I think we got it settled- I hope he gets his liestening ears on because my patience with him not following directions over the last 5 days is just about to run out- Calgon take me away!!!

We have JBQ practice today and then I think bike ride- then he will be going to bed early -

Must go get ready for SS- I am teaching about captivity today-

Hold on to cuddle times

Well-l will get to the title in a minute but first let me tell you how the rest of the week went- not well- I have a tired worn out young man- and his following directions is not doing well- we had a soccer game Thursday and one today- he was a bear Thursday and Friday he was doing well and I asked him to do somethings before we headed out so I could go to the comedy night at church ( a much needed time) however he turned into a disobedient young man- I sent him to his room to chill out- he was all crying and everything -and about 10 minutes later I checked on him and he was a sleep- I was not happy but he needed the rest- I just wanted time away from him- I love him- but this week has been rough- I have things going on at work - getting ready for a big visit from an international organization- and the stress of getting the place in order - and everything else that needs to be done- then dealing with his attitudes of doing want he wants - i just wanted a break- that is all-

okay got that out now on to something I wanted to talk about earlier in the week.

For those of you that have children you know how precious it is to hold them when they are babies and how squisshy they are and how wonderful it is to have them fall asleep on you- do you know that is so important for their development. It creates a special bond-

One that I was unfortunate not to have with Marcus and I do not think he had with whoever was taking care of him at the time- For me as a mom that is so precious- I love holding the babies and putting them to sleep- I was able to do that one Sunday in service with Erin and Derrick's baby girl- you may not know how special that is to me- and that is one of the things I miss most about not having a baby- but I definately do not miss the 2 am feedings- the diaper changing (one reason I wanted an older child) . Oh I hold Marcus and cuddle with him but he is so big - and I treasure each time we do cuddle and I can rock him to sleep- yes I still do that sometimes- he needs it-makes up for all the times he does not listen-

So if you have young ones- or even older ones- hold on to those special times- hold on to them- cuddle with them- never forget those times-

I have a niece and nephew who I was able to hold and hug when they were babies and that is so precious- it is a bonding time - bond with your child- it is never too late- trust me on this one- This was Ainsley and I almost 5 years ago -

Change in Schedule not Good for ME not Good for HIM

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Okay Breathe in Breathe out
I really am pulling my hair out right now-really I am- you see I anticipated issues today with Marcus but his attitude and disobedience is down right stressful- ugh- he does not do well with changes in his schedule - I knew it I anticipated it- but come on really how hard is to apologize to a child ( he stepped on someones glasses because he was pushed) how hard is it to listen when I ask him to walk - instead I get nails in my arm- how hard is to follow directions if you really want to do something- oh I know for Marcus today this afternoon he was over load may day may day- sinking ship sinking ship- I tried to cope breathing well- but kicking seats telling me what he was going to do andnot going to do and he was going NOW to the harvest festival- Right- you see we are not there- we did not make it to BQ practice- sentence writing and Memory verse writing- (thanks PD and PL- I use this a lot) . He knows the ones on obedience cause he has to write them-
so I ask him to get in the shower 6 times aggravation level is up right now cause he was NOT LISTENING - but it is good I am venting my frustrations- Anyone have chocolate - sugar free?
okay I think I am good I will blog really what I was going to write tonight a little later if I stay awake - last night I was in bed by 8:30 and asleep not long after.

The wind was blowing

Where did the weekend go- let me catch you up to speed- I think I wrote about Friday

Saturday had a game did well then went to see Lori, Stacy and the kids- just hung out for a few hours nothing special- Marcus was missing his aunt and uncle so I surprised him with a visit-

Sunday was good- Pastor T and Miss Misty said Marcus was the best behaved boy in children's church - made me so proud-

I taught Jr Jam- 3, 4, and 5 year olds during service- they are so fun- we talked about Moses and the burning bush and how he needed to STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN to GOD and follow what he said.

I was all High tech with a power point and all and let me just say- the kids knew the story backwards and forwards by the end of service - When I teach we have play time- praise and worship time teaching time and usually craft time- it is fun and the best thing of all was that - 5 children 5 lives accepted Jesus in their heart. YEAH FOR JESUS!! I love it

So bring us to Monday- work was great we had surgery except my pig had some issues during surgery was not sure if she was going to make it through the surgery or not- she did yeah-

Marcus had a good day at school- I am so thankful for Lake Myrtle- I am truly blessed, I am truly thankful for his teacher and his behavioral specialist.

So today is Tuesday- came home from work had Marcus work on his HW and I worked on the bike- it was windy and rainy but I was determined to get the bike done so we could go for a bike ride- I have lost 7 lbs since I have started to watch what I eat - oh from time to time I splurge- now it is time to get consistent on the excercise -- I have been doing stomach crunches while watching tv for the last 3 weeks - I was so excited when I went to the store and the usual size I get was too big-yeah! So with biking 3-4 times a week the lbs should come off a little easier.

So we were able to bike 2 miles in the wind and rain and Marcus did great - he kept up so well- this is how he kept up -

Believe or not I feel to good right now- I was so tired at work in the afternoon but now I feel good-

TA DAAAAAAAAA

Okay Fridays I am beginning to not like- why you ask- because byt Friday Marcus is a big bear GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

He wanted to do things his way but in the end he did not get to because he was not following my directions. Anyway he went to bed-

and guess what with in 5 minutes Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

SO he is asleep- I am blogging then I am going to go clean- dishes laundry vaccuum- oh yes I run the vaccuum when he is asleep- how else will I get things done- he sleeps through just about everything

okay are you ready - are you chopping at the bit- can you not wait any longer - here I am -

do I look smart now??

It is a good day

Today was a pretty good day-Nothing abnormal happened- I got a phone call from Marcus' teacher nothing major just wanted to touch base with me.
He was a little difficult after school so we ended up not going to BQ today for practice- I could see he was tired he has a look about him-It has taken me 2 years but I know his tired look- and his tired cry. I oftened wonder how parents know of newborns to determine what is wrong- I had to learn it too and still are.
His latest thing is too lie about things- not sure why- is it a stage- he says he lies because he does not want consequences- of course I remind him now the consequence is more because he lied about what he did or did not do.
Will he learn? Yes-
Not sure how many of you have read about the person who adopted the child and now is relinguisah him back- Marcus has problems even threw stuff at me when he first moved in, has hit me but I would never relinguish him back- I know I do not know the whole story - I am sure there is so much more to the story-I know the child tried to hurt her badly. So I am not going to judge her I will just say how I feel- DO I agree with what DCF does -no- do I agree with how Marcus was treated or the fact I was lied to about it- no - I do believe as a parent and chose to be a parent it is my responsibility to get the help my child needs regardless if he was in the states custody. I signed the papers I choose to find him help when he needs it- put him on meds if he needs it- Can you tell I am a little passionate about this?There are wonderful people and professionals out there that can help you- but you as a parent need to search them out- I did- I am glad - we would probably still be back where we started if we did not go to see them- consistency- constant reiforcement- help from others- lots of love and understanding-
Okay I know I may not be making sense but I am just getting my thoughts out that may be rnay be random

Taking the plunge

Okay I did it - I finally made up my mind to do it- I am beginning to bike Monday, Tuesday and Friday Evenings with Marcus in tow ( he is working on it) Why- well- I need to excercise and I need to stop saying how tired I am - yes today I was tired we were in surgeries today and it was tiring - but I made the commitment to myself - I will bike atleast 3 days a week- sit ups ever night- take my vitamins- not let little things get me down- focus on what God has planned and part of it was the commitment to better myself-

So in months to come hopefully you will see a slimmer me- watching what I eat and excercising- I need to be able to keep up with Marcus and I will not be able to do that at the rate I am going. Anyway - it felt good- oh it was hot and I was sweaty when we came in but it was a good feeling- so Marcus will be in top shape between biking and soccer

Marcus does listen to people and I just want to say to Dustin- you can relay this to him PD- he remembered what you said about how if people are mean to you to say Jesus loves you- he did not do it but he remembers it and he said he would work on it-

Marcus had a pretty good day- he did not do his time out at school when his teacher requested it (he had to do it with the behavioral specialist out of his classroom) - so I pulled out the JBQ book and asked him this question. How should we regard our school teachers, policemen, and other government officials.

The answer- We should obey them for their authority comes from God-( did he get it right Leslie? ) I had him write it and then we talked more about it.

Stop using the Crutch

Do not worry if you do not understand the reason I titled it that - it is okay and God is so in control. We had a very good service this morning- I say that because personally I had a very good service and really realized when the devil showed up in my son as soon as we were home- I love him to pieces that boy of mine.

For those of you who read my blog just pray for me over the next month about what God spoke to me about- it is a step process and I just want to be obedient- stop using the crutch Michele.

He is taking me way out of my comfort zone- It will be good cause it will be a God thing- I will share more but can not right now. Just pray that is all.