I was brought to tears twice today

- I wish I was there for him at this age-


My son- this morning thought he would be funny and not listen- many of you have not seen this side of him- he thinks he is all cute and funny and speaking like a baby- I was trying to talk with him about having a good day and such and he would not have any part of it-so I called on Aunt Lori and Uncle Stacy - let us review this is at 5:55 in the morning-there was no way I was taking him into the center like this- Stacy talked and then Lori called back- he talked with her and seemed to settle down- then he talked with me said he was going to have a good day.


Great - Love you smooch - have a great day.


Cried on my way to work- oh and before I left at 6:11 I had him call my boss to inform her I was running late because of his choices- you see it is 20 minutes to work from where I was and I needed to be at work at 6:30.


So I pick him up in the afternoon- and what does the after school teacher tell me- he just bit someone why cause the other person would not get off of him- oh I am not happy because I had already read is behavior chart from school- he again tripped a child today.


Then I brought him inside from the playgorund after practicallu dragging him in to speak with him and he went off on a tantrum - leave me alone -I just wanted to talk- so I ended up having to carry him out all the while him yelling let me go and me saying when you can make a good choice I will. Lori wanted me to call so I did when we got in the car. Marcus was screaming like a baby and sucking his fingers when I meaning screaming I mean screaming-


Thank goodness my sister was able to talk him out because at this point I was furious- she was talking I was calming-


He quieted down- I drove home silently he wanted to talk I said when I am calm I will talk but right now I am very angry- silence on the way home- 2nd time I began to cry.we talked it out when we got home- I was blantly honest with him about how he made the choices and how sad and tired I am from this week- how I have had a headache pretty much all week- no exaggeration this is true. I did a little demo which I think woke him up- I kicked his back pack- and said Marcus this is what I am feeling like you are kicking me around like I am kicking your back pack- not taking care of it. We talked and then the consequences took place


Sentence writing and scripture writing about how to deal with anger, lying (he did that too), body parts to ourselves, and the las one was MArcus is gracious and compassionate slow to anger and rich in love- I reiterated that I love him but not his choices and that God created you to be kind, caring and compassionate and not hurtful.


Okay God what am I learning this time?


I know this is a time of regression for him but it is taking its toll on me- I can feel it emotional, physically and spiritually (thank goodness my work computer gets a praise and worship station-that helped so much today). His psychologist said he would go through it and since the holidays are upon us and things for him are so overstimulating - I just need to realize it- but sometimes I forget so for those of you reading this please feel free to remind me. This too shall pass right PD- this too shall pass.


Breathe in Breathe out


one more thing that is getting my goat and I think this may be a source of the problem- he is not getting his meds at the right time - hello for those of you who have seen him with out meds either in the morning or later then he is suppose to have them- we have a wild man on our hands. so an email went out promptly today to address that.


okay to bed I go - I get to sleep in yeah-!!!

Time for adults

Okay - I need time with adults so I am so looking forward to our CE dinner on Saturday - can we have it tomorrow night instead- I doubt it I know- it is okay all the more to enjoy the time without a child- I love him but I need sometime with adults-

In fact I will have about 24 hours with out him yes my wonderful sister and brother in law are watching him ahhhhhh.

Marcus had another rough day today so he is in his room writing on how he should have behaved- and scripture verses too.

James 1:20
A man's anger doesn't produce the kind of life God wants

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay we were having a good run and today I pick Marcus up and ask him how his day went- great 11 stickers/stars earned- went to the gorcery store had a good time there and then the phone rang which changed the entire rest of the evening-

I am sooo angry right now hence I am writing- he got mad with his teacher because she was correcting him abut putting is hiney in another child's face - so he scratched the teacher bit the teacher - it took 2 of them to restrain him. and this happened 3 minutes before the bell.

ARGGGH- so the principal said because of the rules he needed to be suspended ugh- tomorrow ugh ugh- we talked and she allowed ISS half a day and then OSS the other half- thanks Margi- my wonderful boss- she understands completely .

Marcus and I talked - I had him write an apology to the teacher- I just want to take everything away from him- the computer- drums- baseball(we have not started it yet- I do not want to give it to him now)

I feel what have I done wrong - We have done so well since September and now this-I know it is not true but sitting at the table with him I went I failed somewhere- just how I am feeling right now so hold on- it will pass- I did not make the choice for him to bite his teacher and scratch her so that was all him- just aggravated with him cause I KNOW HE KNOWS BETTER.

breathe in breathe out- "SIGH"

Thanksgiving Pictures and family photos

This is my sister and my parents this Thanksgiving- the building in the back is where our horses are.

The dogs playing while Marcus and Ainsley were playing a game- the madness of it all

One moment the kids were all quiet and watching TV in grannie and papaws room- ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Marcus reading to Papaw- how precious- I love it

The Danielsons- Papaw, Grannie, Marcus, and me- my sister I took her and therest of the Cole Family - I only have one of those and may post at a later date but for now- All of us in this photo have the same last name.

Thanksgiving Meal

We will have our Thanksgiving meal today in Venice- We were all unable to get down here until today- Marcus and I were fortunate to be able to have 5 days off - so we came down- He has had some trouble adjusting- he tends to do that when our schedule is off kilter- but yesterday and today seems to be much better- little meltdown the last 2 mornings but all else is fine-
okay I said I would never do it but I did get up too early yesterday and went to the stores - Brenda - I still say you all are crazy for doing it- I will not do it again.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving- Stay safe-
Talk to you soon

Ouch and Happy Thanksgiving and USF game

Ouch because I went to the dentist today- had to have a broken tooth fixed- I broke it and had appt back in September but that was also the day I was in the car accident- so it is fixed yeah but it hurts - I think I even cried a little at the dentist- it was numb but still hurt-


Happy Thanksgiving-

I am so thankful for my family- my friends and especially God for His strength and guidance daily.

I was scheduled to work tomorrow - but thankfully I do not need to go in- I am so grateful


The USF game was a success and here are some pictures ( I will add later)to prove it- he was so surprised and so was Sarah- they both had a good time.

It has been a while

I know I have not written in a while but the last 2 weeks I went from chest congestion to nasal congestion and have been asleep before 9 most nights-

I have so enjoyed reading PDs chronicles of Kenya- When can I go with you is all I can say- I want to go back to Africa so much- many of what you have written about PD had happened when we were there 11 years ago. One day I will return

Well this is a very significant weekend- why you ask? Let me set the day- well it was yesterday-2 years ago not the date but the day Friday- National Adoption Day. we arived at the downtown Tampa Courthouse about 8 ish or so. We had special speakers- Grannie, Papaw, Aunt Lori, Uncle Stacy, the cousins, Uncle Adam, Aunt BRenda, Pastors Larry and Deanna, Aunt Bekah, Renee, Leslie and the girls were all present to witness the miracle- and we waited and waited- and waited- it was all so special- the Judge called our name and I did my I will take care of him thing - got our pictures done and became a FOREVER Family

Here is the entire family after the signing

The Balloon Says it ALL!- His life and mine will never be the same

Sunday is the actual day- We have our Thanksgiving Dinner at Church that day- I am truly Thankful- I know I stress out and complain- I am working on that-

I am thankful for my life changing- do I like the days where he goes off the deep end no. But you know so much has changed for both of us over the last 2 years- I have grown as a person- my heart goes out to single moms- my heart goes out to special needs parents- My fight for my child and his schooling - sometimes I am amazed as I look back and see where we have come from - we he has grown not physically but emotionally and spiritually- me where I have grown emotionally and spiritually- My strength comes from God, my wonderful families (extended and church- you all are the best) my work family-

I can honestly say gone are the days where I will be hit or have a stool thrown at me- gone are the days where melt downs are not everyday- He is so intelligent so loving so caring- so much fun- he is a source of hope and success.

I know we will have rough moments - we had one this morning. I think more is part of being a kid - but I still need to stay on my toes- Consistency- is so important for him-

We have soccer today and then we are going to the USF game it is Faculty and Staff appreciation night- however I have a special surprise of going on the field before the game. I will take pictures and post them at a later date.

Thank you all for celeberating this time with us- you all are apart of our success of being a family- YOU ARE LOVED!!

I am still here- lots to go over but....

Yes I am a live - however I was stricken with something in my chest and it seemed to settle and it is still there- hopefully it will pass-
Marcus had a great week at school and by the end of the week he was listening at home- we had a good bible quiz meet- his first one- he answered 4 questions- I was very proud of him- I think he was a little nervous but that is okay-

One of the leaders from the churches that attend has been going through quite a bit- just remember the Valentins in your prayers - they have had a Job experience over the course of the last several months- from the death of there daughter- son having a tumor- their house being broken into- and Saturday an uncle passing away- just pray for them. I know God will tend to them and wrap their arms around them

Working on somethings God has spoken to me about - it is going tobe good
More on that later on-
Time for bed-
PD if you read this before you get back- I am picturing everything you talk about in Kenya so vividly- you are missed-and loved - enjoy your time- it sounds so wonderful - makes me want to go all the more.

I am proud to be his momma

Okay I know I tell a lot about our difficult days- but they are fewer and farther between- and today was one of those days I was so very proud

We had Bible Quiz practice today- Marcus has missed the ones on Wednesday just cause he is exhausted and most of the time attitudinal (cause by the exhaustion) - Hey do you blame him out of the house by 5:40 am and goes to school all day-

Anyway we had practice today - I was quiz mastering and let me tell you he answered many- he was having a good match and at one point I had to slow down reading and get refocused- cause I had tears yes tears in my eyes- I am so proud of him - Right now as I type this I am beaming- it makes up for all the difficult times- he is learning so much from the Bible just in the 10 point questions- me too I might add- I can answer pretty much all of the ones he studies- you see we have a contest usually to or from school sometimes both- we have a 20 minute drive so we study that way- he amazes me- I think wow 2 year ago he did not know his ABCs- colors - shapes or had manners- now he is reading above level- can color wonderfully- manners are so far from where we began-

Lately he has been reading his Bible and we talk about what it means- he is so very smart- he gets the intelligence from me you know- and the good looks

He drew me a picture in Sunday School- made me smile with pride- See it here below

It was a good day today!!!!

Well it is Sunday and we had a good Saturday for the most part- We had soccer at 8 am - Marcus got an attitude because he had to sub out- all the kids have to do it at one point- We had talked about it before and he said he understood- however I think we need to go over it again- Then we ran and did some errands he fell asleep on the way home- so he took a nap after nap we went for a 2 mile bile ride- it was nice-I plan on going today after JBQ practice too.

Chris came home from UF and we hung out with him for awhile last night- Uncle Adam, Sarah, Chris , and Marcus all got into a wrestling match. Then at some point it was dog pile on me- how that happen I am not sure. We had a good time went to eat at Don Pablos in Brandon- it was soooooooo yummy- Chris was hungry for Tacos-

So this morning my son has been a pistol- I think we got it settled- I hope he gets his liestening ears on because my patience with him not following directions over the last 5 days is just about to run out- Calgon take me away!!!

We have JBQ practice today and then I think bike ride- then he will be going to bed early -

Must go get ready for SS- I am teaching about captivity today-

Hold on to cuddle times

Well-l will get to the title in a minute but first let me tell you how the rest of the week went- not well- I have a tired worn out young man- and his following directions is not doing well- we had a soccer game Thursday and one today- he was a bear Thursday and Friday he was doing well and I asked him to do somethings before we headed out so I could go to the comedy night at church ( a much needed time) however he turned into a disobedient young man- I sent him to his room to chill out- he was all crying and everything -and about 10 minutes later I checked on him and he was a sleep- I was not happy but he needed the rest- I just wanted time away from him- I love him- but this week has been rough- I have things going on at work - getting ready for a big visit from an international organization- and the stress of getting the place in order - and everything else that needs to be done- then dealing with his attitudes of doing want he wants - i just wanted a break- that is all-

okay got that out now on to something I wanted to talk about earlier in the week.

For those of you that have children you know how precious it is to hold them when they are babies and how squisshy they are and how wonderful it is to have them fall asleep on you- do you know that is so important for their development. It creates a special bond-

One that I was unfortunate not to have with Marcus and I do not think he had with whoever was taking care of him at the time- For me as a mom that is so precious- I love holding the babies and putting them to sleep- I was able to do that one Sunday in service with Erin and Derrick's baby girl- you may not know how special that is to me- and that is one of the things I miss most about not having a baby- but I definately do not miss the 2 am feedings- the diaper changing (one reason I wanted an older child) . Oh I hold Marcus and cuddle with him but he is so big - and I treasure each time we do cuddle and I can rock him to sleep- yes I still do that sometimes- he needs it-makes up for all the times he does not listen-

So if you have young ones- or even older ones- hold on to those special times- hold on to them- cuddle with them- never forget those times-

I have a niece and nephew who I was able to hold and hug when they were babies and that is so precious- it is a bonding time - bond with your child- it is never too late- trust me on this one- This was Ainsley and I almost 5 years ago -