thankful

ok I know my writing is not as often as it use to be - i apologize- not a lot a drama in life lately
although- work has been interesting- learning a lot through a situation- it is a good learning experience.
anyway, so what has been on my mind - not much - just very thankful

i am working on organizing and getting back on track on a couple of things- i need to get one of my tasks done- just need to get it done and make the time

loving teaching Sunday School again - i was just filling in but I love it - also loving teaching kidzone jr- I teach the same lesson as kidzone but in a way they can understand scaling it back but still the same message. its fun but oh my so tiring- i love to see the kids light up when they get it- they are smart cookies i have in there

marcus is getting ready to start track on Saturday the 25th - can not wait :) missed it last year- other then that all is quiet-

Oh my so bad with writing

ok so what has been happening- well we finished our fast with church and i learned a lot - somethings I learned - and keep learning- not to be discouraged all in His hands, eating the right things are good for you and the fast was timely for changing my eating habits - I can live without Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream and will survive. As a family we bonded more cause Marcus was praying more and he was seeing in himself how God can work

THe month of fasting for him- he went down to 2 meds- went into mainstream classes- was on honor roll and we have gone to once a month therapy- wow He is so good to us

Yesterday we went to the fair with the Tobias Family- it was Marcus' first trip and the boy is definately a city boy- we walked into the animal section (my favorite) and he was like whew it stinks in here. I need to get him into the country more- he needs to muck some stalls at Papaws over spring break (hint hint dad)- we had a good time, i love seeing things through the eyes of a child

Saturday thoughts in the am

my writing may be a little vague so bear with me-

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real and when you woke up you were disappointed that it was just a dream.

well I had a dream like that last night- been praying much about what the dream was about and maybe it was a dream to come true. that is my prayer.

Seeking what God has for us and believing it to come. Sometimes I am in amazement at all God has done for us- why should I be surprised? Idk- His word is true.

Trusting him is such a powerful thing- Keep believing!

Potpourri of thoughts

sometimes we have to wait- and wait some more for things to come our way- sometimes it is not our timing but God's. i know that is always been a challenge for me- waiting on Him- i tend to want it now- but when i have learned to wait on Him- His way is so much sweeter. so whatever you are going through you will make it just wait- He has it all timed out

another though going in my head thanks to a friend from church is- if we have the love of God in our hearts why don't we act the way we should- you know if you see a need meet the need- sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves and our issues we forget to look at the big picture and follow Christ's example and meeting the people's needs-

Have you met someone elses need today- don't let an opportunity by to spread His love

Trust

Trust- that is a big word - small in size but big when it comes to relationships- sometimes trust is broken and it takes a long while to get it back. However sometimes we allow others not in because of our lack of trust- we often times feel secure when we don't allow others in- and you know it is ok to allow others in- I have learned slowly - its not that I don't trust its I am very independent and stubborn at times and think oh i can do it all on my own with no one around- believe me that was me several years ago before a little boy popped into my life- I had to learn trust- with him, with his caregivers with my friends to allow them in when I was frustrated and hurt by all that was going on- oh I have improved greatly but like all things still working on trust.

So allow others in- and yes you need to know who you let in. but trust them that you do allow in- they are there to help you and support you

A year ago

Well last year at this time I was packing a suitcase and filling it with "safe" items for Marcus to have while he was at Manatee Palms- wow I can not believe it- still brings tears to my eyes thinking I left him for 5 months-I remember that January 28th vividly - like slow mo
I placed his bags in the car the night before as I did not want him to see them. I was honest with what was going on but did not want suitcases to fly at me.
We got up - got in the car and headed south in which I was told many times he did not want to go- I understood - part of me was crumbling- I know I was doing the right thing although it hurt so much.
as I sit and type I am very tearful- many thoughts run through my head right now-
I picked up my sister at work at she drove with me- it was quite an interesting drive as Marcus talked about Fort Desoto as we headed over the skyway- I was texting ( not me my sister) with Pastor Gray - he had called at the top of the skyway-
we got there and Marcus was fine until... I started filling out the paperwork and he went off the wall - saying he was not staying and all of that- the person doing the admittance did not fade her- she just kept going with it- she said no worries normal behavior- then he started hitting the ceiling with whatever was in the room. he would not stop so help was brought it in. finished filling out the paperwork and then found him said I would see you soon and love you- he asked for me to come back that night- I said I could not. He told me not to leave I said I needed to.

then my neck was so tight aye aye and the rest of the day was a blur

Now a year later - he is on honor roll, in mainstream classes, only on 2 meds and is sooo much fun to have around. So thankful for what God had supplied to us. I am truly amazed

My mom would be so proud- I miss the fact she can not see how well he is doing- she was able to see a little bit but not the whole package.

What a difference a year makes

over the last 25 days

well- working on spending more time with God in prayer and I think that is why I wke up so early in the am- not realizing it to this morning - no worries I have been praying each morning when I do wake up for what God reminds me of.

Marcus are praying specifically for our family each night when he goes to bed- he was questioning why it has not happened yet for what he was praying for- I said remember it is God's timing not ours- we always want the here and now but we need to allow God to work in our lives first. I learned the timing thing when everything was going on with Marcus

In the last 25 days Marcus has moved to full time mainstream classes and is doing well- in the last 25 days Marcus is down to 2 meds, in the last 25 days Marcus is sharing when things bother him and is asking how to solve problems if they arise again.

For me in the last 25 days- I have learned to appreciate my quiet time with God- I have learned that I do not need to live on junk food to be fulfilled- that I can cook and it is enjoyable ( do not let that get out too much) I learned to appreciate my voice and not take it for granted ( i have lost my voice for almost 5 days)