Sunday, August 23, 2015

back on line again

well i thought i would catch you up what has transpired over the last several months - and will keep you up to speed as time progresses- i do this to get things out plus remind people they are not alone when it comes to dealing with behaviorally challenged children- mental health issues

this is not for the faint at heart but honestly not sure how much my heart can take or how much more it can take emotionally and mentally

so let me catch you up from march- i think i shared marcus was baker acted- then in may the bottom dropped out of my world - i am still sorting it all out but lets just say marcus lost control and has affected us both- not sure where he is at mentally but for me- its messed me up - if i am being honest

how could someone you love and put all the time and energy into over the years hurt you as he did.

our lives have not been the same since May 19th.

4 years ago marcus was in residential to get some additional help and on august 10th he reentered residential. he needs some help in which i can no longer give. hopefully we get the same or better outcome as we did four years ago.

the pain in my heart emotionally can be overwhelming at times but there are some amazing people in my life that are loving me through- praying me through

at times i wonder what in the world and why do we have to go through this again- i don't have an answer and may never get one- i just know we still have a long 6 months ahead of us- pray for us fro strongholds to be broken off m and to mend our broken family.

i know i just opened up a can of worms- for lots of questions - but i have lots of questions myself- so...

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Its been awhile

I know its been a while we have been a little out of wack-

We had yet another flood back in October and we were living with friends - now they are just family- Libby the cat was with other friends - well family for the 4 months and we would stay with her and visit with her as we could- so we were so out of sorts until the beginning of February when we moved back home with the help of amazing people in our life.

We have had some difficulties with some behaviors and it hit us hard about 2 weeks ago- hopefully we are on the right path-

Marcus diagnosis includes PTSD 30% of which foster kids have it much higher statistic then our military coming home from battle- We here more about the soldiers then we do the kids- why? I am not sure- I wish I knew- no offense to the soldiers who serve- I want them to get the help they deserve.

However- my son has it and it can be a living nightmare- flashbacks of before he came into my life in which I had no control over- comes at times when you least expect it or want it.

Other mental issues may occur with PTSD as well as ADHD oh yes I live with a child with both- and a mood disorder

In my next post I will share how difficult it can be at times to raise a teen (yes on top of everything else we are in adolescence time) with behavior concerns as a single parent (call me a little wack adoodle). How I feel through it all- get ready ready and be prepared I will be honest.

Here it is for sharing of the house done.

Thursday, October 30, 2014


Well- we have been through it again- a flood- yep pipe broke upstairs and we have been displaced from our home until right before Christmas-

if it not been for the love of friends- well... family Marcus and I would be going crazy-  ok well I would be anyway-

In the course of this first 3 weeks- I have learned to ask for more support and prayer then ever- for those of  you who know me well that is a step- I am a person - stubborn yep- independent yep- I can do it all yep. realizing its ok to ask for support - we all need it at times.

Marcus is learning its not all about him and he needs to share. we are learning as we go through this progress - blessed to have the people in our lives that we do- not sure where we would be without them right now.

How many of you can say you will open up your home to a single mom and her loving and challenging teenager? for a couple of months? I know 2 - in which I am thankful-

God is truly good- He is taking care of us and meeting our needs-

Trusting in Him- through it all- thank you Lord for your words-

At Thrive I was praying and a lady came up to me and said God has placed in my heart as I prayed to tell you I'll go. As I have prayed today this verse came up. Most versions begin with Ill go... how fitting the mountains translate into the rising waves. He levels the mountains or waves or floods in our lives he is there to go ahead and make the way

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Welcome to 8th grade and craziness

Ok well we are surviving 8th grade barely - wow i did not think 8th grade would be this difficult- but I am learning and parenting is changing this year- i am having to lay down the law and at times it affects me negatively as the privileges he gets I enjoy so much watching him play.. Marcus is learning that this last year is tough and he has to study a little bit differently and a little bit harder. Its a change for both of us.

We are doing soccer again with Upwards- love this group of people - amazing - the love of the coaches is awesome.


some changes ahead for us- all good- can not wait to see what all God has for us-

Sunday, August 17, 2014

end of summer review

well lets see - where to begin

beginning monday the 18th- i will have an 8th grader- where has the time gone- it seems like yesterday that he was just going into vpk- time flies- enjoy every moment- good bad and ugly

he is turning out to be a fine young man- we laugh so much more then we use to and he keeps me on my toes
he makes me so very proud- oh he drives me crazy at times but for the most part he is an amazing young man- time and love and commitment goes a long way. i often look back and wonder how we made it- only by Gods's grace. God is truly an amazing God to allow me to become his mom.

Over the summer I think he has been searching who he is- he asked me about his birth mom and we talk and i asked him if he wanted to see a picture of her- he said yes- so my heart sunk a little (shh dont tell him) but I always said i would be honest with him and help him anyway i could with knowing who he is. So i showed him a picture of his birth mom holding him when he was about 9 months old- it was the last time i think she saw him- He does look like her- and as more questions arise he will be told the truth- he asks we talk he moves on. in a few months he may ask more. at times for me its a little unsettling but i want him to know who his birth mom is and what his birth name that was given to him- he is ok with the name he has he just needs to know his history.

excited about the school year- soccer season starts in  couple weeks- which i love who he plays with Upwards at Myrtle Lake Baptist

I was recently asked to speak at the school - me - so excited-

looking forward to an amazing school year-

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

In Summer

So it has been a busy summer- Marcus went to camp for a week then I went to camp for a week. Talk about life changing for both.

I sit back and wonder why God would allow me to be a part of the #bestweekofsummer. Its not only life changing for the kids but for me as well. Often times we shelter ourselves and not realize how kids are affected by their home situation. I had girls crumble in my arms asking just to understand their situation.They came to camp for answers and I believe God answered them.

He renewed a fire in me for a dream I set aside.To touch lives in  our own area and areas beyond - to help parents with behavior challenged children and to let them know that there is help out there and a hope for the future for them and their family.

We must not give up on this generation- there are precious!

Thursday, June 19, 2014


Sometimes in life we get so busy- so overwhelmed so stressed we miss an opportunity to be thankful of what God has brought us through

Last night I was reminded as I was able to give some resources out in which we have used in the past-
Which made me look back on my blog here and be overwhelmed at where God has brought us through and to. He is truly Faithful-

I sit and am amazed at the hand He had in all we dealt with- it was not pleasant- but I learned so much

He gives us strength in our circumstances- He guides us and directs us - He gives us wisdom and discernment when we need it.
He allows people to come in our lives just at the right time to help us through those times-

I have learned that one of my sayings is true- and never really grasped it until more recent years- I would always be the one saying You are never alone- we are truly never alone- God has His hand upon our lives at all times we just need to be willing to trust Him and have faith in Him.

Lately this is what He is showing me- to trust Him- ( I have and will continue to do so) to slow down before I react to the circumstances I maybe going through

Recently I had a health scare ( or should i say a heart scare)- yep - did not share with too many- but I was not alone in the situation- He was with me- He allowed people in my life to be there for me-for us. He had it under control - he gave me wisdom and guidance through the whole thing. Oh i was a little on edge but knew it would work out- why cause He is the one who is greater then all things. Health issues- he has got it- financial issues easy as pie for Him- children concerns- oh he most definitely has that in His Hands.

So before you react take a step back and breathe and realize He has this under control- I am reminding myself of this daily -