My posts....

I know my posts have been a little down speaking or struggling - but the truth is this is what life is right now for me- I am not hopeless- I am not doubting that is God is going to do amazing things- I am going through a process and I am sharing life- and if there is anyone that has been through rough times- times with your children- issues that you have had you are not alone. We all go through times and for now this our time- I am going through the process- Do I like it NO WAY- I am tired - exhausted at times-
Listen to the song from a previous day- All this that I am or I should say we are going through will be so worth it- If God uses our family to reach those who go through rough time to encourage them through the process and to let them know they are going to make it then so be it-
Its going to be worth it- I am growing- I am trusting- I am becoming stronger- It is a struggle -at times it is a moment by moment struggle- sometimes a day to day struggle- Today was one of those day struggles.

God knows what I am feeling - what my thoughts were during praise and worship was this morning- before church- before Sunday School- at breakfast-He saw the tears fall this morning- I know He is here - I know He is guiding me-I know I know

It is still hard on a daily basis- the days are long - God is showing me teaching me-mental health is so real- people do not get it- sometimes I do not get - sometimes I wonder if I can handle it - sometimes I wonder why Marcus- why Us- Why me- Sometimes I wonder how much more I can handle before I break down completely- days are daunting- you wonder when things are going to come apart again-the thoughts go astray. No worries- I talk to people-

I wonder- If we are created in His image then how could this happen to Marcus- I know there are other circumstances that have caused it but I still question it- and it is okay- He wants us to ask questions- When I ask questions it helps me walk through it- He normally answers through others speaking into my life-

I am just sharing- sharing what is going on inside- I get angry-mad- not at God - do not go there- at people- oh Michele you love God you are not suppose to do that- yes yes I can when you do stupid things to harm children I can say it. because it just does not affect them when they are young it affects them for a lifetime- Imprinting- Are you making a good imprint on a childs life or a bad one cause it will affect them.

I am rambling so I am going now - Keep praying for us- we need it- I need it he needs it - we all need it