A letter to my family and where we are going

Marcus' behavior had begun detoriating over the summer- with increase outburst of anger over very simple things- when he was asked to do something - when he was doing something he should not etc etc- the week before September 1st these outbursts got very out of hand very violent- hitting - screaming yelling etc- this to a point where I did not feel comfortable _ yes scared nervous - to be with him - so I spent the Sunday night at friends and even he outbursted and raised his fists towards his "uncle adam" which he never ever has done. So I had to make a decision and not sure how to make it- Monday the 1st in the AM was pretty much a battle and then he calmed down- but I knew I had to make a decision and waited all day to do it- Lori was there with me the entire thought out time- when he was being so kind- but I just never knew when the next outburst would come- the violent outbursts- you see where I got nervous is Sunday he kicked me so hard in my knee I had a bruise for over a week. Anyway- that was the icing on the cake.
After much thought- after much heart ache-and heartwreching time- I had to make a decision to get help - so we went to the ER- We dropped Isaac off at the Tobias family and Lori drove me to the ER. so glad she was there. Anyway-he was fine then through a fit in the car over cookies then he was fine and good when checking in to the ER- and he was good and coloring and then he did exactly what I wanted him to do so someone could see what this child is all about - You see I told Marcus we were going to get help because Mommy did not know how to help him anymore- and he was okay with that nervous but ok
Anyway- to make a long story shorter- He through a massive fit- hitting me in the face - hittin my jaw with his head - kicking yelling - I was trying to hold him- Lori went to get security but they really did not help- so Lori grabbed him and we slammed him to the floor ( okay not really) but we did drop to the floor- her holding his arms me his legs- I was exhausted physically from defending myself- and as we were sitting there sweating- one of the Drs or interns came over and said keep dong what you are doing - mental health is on their way- of course Lori and I bursted into laughter cause I was not going anywhere - The staff there was FABULOUS- gave me gatorade- aske me if I needed anything- Lori made phone calls and kept people updated.
Anyway mental health came down (Todd) he was great- Marcus did a nother outburst with him for about 30-40 minutes- he said he has not had to use a technique in 20 years but they did. todd was now sweating and he is no small man- He told Marcus - you ar going to make me make a decision I do not want to make- I said do what you need to do- that is why we are here- so they decided to Baker Act him- not sure if it other states have this but- this is when a person is a threat to himself or others. So Marcus was sent to a crisis center for 6 days- I was able to call twice daily and visit for 1 hour (which he only wanted to visit for 10 minutes each time)
We are going to behavioral therapy weekly- he has meds to take daily - we are working on anger control- he will see his psychiatrist more frequently-and now 25 days later from the first we are at a much much better place- school is going well - he started karate which he earned 3 months free because he was so well behave at school and was the only one who got it.

I am not sure if any of you have dealt with mental health issues but let me be very honest and frank with you - as the mother as the other family that deal with a child with mental health issue s( remember we do not know biological make up here) it is very real - very tiring - very time consuming-you have to think before the reaction comes so you do not have an explosion- constantly trying to figure out better ways to work with him-the days are better but we have a long way to go for the rest of his life- If you have never been through it - you do not understand- I am a stronger person for it and Marcus will be a better young man-
I just wanted to share - withyou my family of what has been going on-
The decision was the toughest ever and brought me to my lowest ever- helpless ( I stayed at friends house for the week he was gone) - but I would not change my decision for anything.

I loved what my pastor said as I was driving to the hospital- this has no reflection on you as a mom- he is sick- just like if he had diabetes or any other medical sickness you would do whatever means possible-and that is exactly what I did.

I wrote this to our family for our newsletter - my aunt sends one out every month - but as I wrote it I realized that the last 25 days were the hardest ever but as the days have come they ahave gotten easier -not easy - easier- and I am not saying that all is peaches and roses- but it is better- we have a long way and still have a long way to go-but our strength - my strength comes from God- I can see a little bit of how God is going to use this time for good.-