A few days late

Merry Christmas

sorry have not written not really busy but - so dad came to Christmas at Lori's - so glad you did dad- made my Christmas

the kids were all a flurry with their new kindles or nooks- it is official baby steps for technology in the house- I guess the next investment will be a cheap phone for emergencies-

Marcus and I have been hanging out at the house and today went on an 11 mile bike ride- need to continue with that- however my knee did not like it towards the end so I will have to make sure I take care of it.

Marcus was funny the other day he asked if it was expensive to adopt him- I said nope I got a deal . he thought that was funny. I answer his questions when he has them- sorta makes me a little nervous- but still honest with him- I think I want to protect him from where he came from- I know some of the history and just do not want him exposed to that right now - He knows his biological mom did drugs and he knows that we are unsure of who his biological dad is. He knows that he was born with syphilis and they test his biological mom for drugs when he was born and he also knows he was placed in foster care 3 days later- some of his foster time is a blur and I really know not a whole lot about that. He asks I answer what I know - where did this conversation come from- Idk.

anyway- hoping for a good new year- still praying for God wants-

More- Trust-Strength

3 words 3 words for 2013- i normally choose a word for the new year this past year i did not - not sure why - just did not - so why these 3 words well here you go-

More- more time in the word- more time in prayer- more time for God

Trust- Trust Him with All things and not pick things back up- Seek Him first and not rely on me

Strength- for I can not do it alone- I can not be a mom alone ( I get tired)- I can not serve Him on my own. I need His strength to do all things.

MORE- TRUST- STRENGTH

What word do you choose this year?

Time for Reflection

We celebrate this time of year the birth of Christ- our Savior our King of Kings- I have much to be celebrating this year-and yet at the same time my heart misses my mom- I know this is normal I get it- I often think about how proud she would be of her daughters and grandkids- particular Marcus- no disrespect to Ainsley and Dakota- she would be proud of them too.

Yesterday I was deleting and going through old emails and found an email from December 2, 2010 an email with an attachment of an application for residential care for Marcus. It was so fitting as Marcus and I delivered some goodies to the crisis center where he stayed quite a bit in 2010. They were so proud of how well he is doing.

I often think of all the kids that need help or are in the facilities in which Marcus once did- When we were at the crisis center we were told they were full- full of children- my heart broke as I knew that feeling that their parents were going through- but they all were safe and getting help. Marcus said he hopes they all get better- he wants others to know they can do it too as he has gotten the help.

Mom saw what Marcus was like and it made her nervous - she saw the ugly meltdowns- I am so glad she saw just a glimpse of what I see everyday now in June of 2011. She would truly be amazed now!

I often wish she was here just so she can enjoy him as much as I do now- she would laugh as much as I do now with him ( he is quite funny - especially when he gets really tired). Oh I know I can not change or have my wish come true and I also know I need to be thankful for what I have now and enjoy life each day. I get it just sometimes it is a little harder then others and Christmas time is one of them.

so mom- I miss you - I love you and I know you would be so proud of this incredible young man.

Enjoy some old photos

Enough is enough

Usually I am pretty quiet when it comes to the news of the world- however when mental illness is involved - I need to speak out- you can agree or not this is strictly my opinion and my opinion only.

Why do people keep saying we need to be aware of mental health and look into that every time something tragic happens- blame the mental health issue the person has- stop stop stop

Blame the government for not making sources available - stop stop stop

There is help out there if the person wants it or if the person's parent wants it. but it takes time, time and energy- it is not a quick fix of medication - cause believe me I have seen the multitude of it with my son. It takes a person diligently working with the mental health care workers- it takes time.
You need to make the people helping you aware of what is going on with actions. Speak up if you have a child speak up and say this is not working we need to do something different-

I am not saying it is easy - believe me it took me time to realize wow I am so outside my league right now and can not do it alone.

You see I have a son who suffers from ADHD, slight oppositional defiant ( not so much anymore), and PTSD- yes PTSD (not fun). Well he does not suffer anymore why. I the parent was diligent in the efforts to get him help-  I seeked out the professionals and found them- I seeked out the school to help us get him evaluated. The letters I wrote up there do not define him anymore. We found the right medication, we found the right people to help.

My son wanted to get better- I wanted him to be successful and so did he. He is 11 now- we have been dealing with this since he was 5 - yes 5. It was hard- spent many of nights crying and not understanding. Spent many hours with therapists- seeking and finding.

Stop blaming the fact there is nothing out there or limited- yes it is out there I found it - we are a product of it. however it does take time, lots of prayer, lots of perseverance.

Now- we have it under control- only on 2 medications- therapy has stopped, he is on honor roll.

Seek help - it is there- and parents do not be ashamed - be your child's advocate and say something is not quite right let's evaluate him/her. You are not alone - been there and came through

so much to tell - sorta

ok so what have we been up to- i neglected to tell you November 21st we were discharged from therapy- wowzers huh- 6 years later and we are done- we can go back as needed

He is a miracle I truly believe

now we are preparing for chorus concert this coming Friday December 14th- so if you would like to come and see him we will be at the Wesley Chapel performing arts center by Wesley Chapel High.- it  starts at 7

he is growing and maturing and becoming a fine young man- he often tells me he wants to be like me and adopt kids like him so he can help them become all they can be- he amazes me at times and then drives me crazy at other times

he is doing well in school struggling a little bit but we are in middle school and its a lot of work- if he would only listen to me he would do well but he knows best right- :)

all in all life is good in that area-

me busy at work - crazy happenings
i also have been dealing with a knee injury that was driving me crazy- i guess I am just getting old- anyways the Dr I see is awesome and is using me as a guinea pig - sorta - and it is fine cause what he has been doing is working. I still may need an injection in the knee ( no thank you) cause he did find cartilage damage and I also found out that if I ever have to have an MRI with my head going into the machine first- I will need heavy sedation :)

here are some pictures that Keri Rehm took for us- I think they are awesome

Ahh...

this is what i did at mom and dad's a few days we were there- we also had a fire each night- and just hung at the house - it was nice

Mashed Potatoes

I know strange title- but you see I made them for Thanksgiving Dinner at church last night- peeled potatoes the whole 9 yards. I think they came out nicely-

I think everyone survived them- (smile)

Why such a big deal- well i often get picked on made fun of what ever you want to call it- for not cooking- honestly I don't like cooking- Many may like it but I do not-

May be I do not like it cause its just M and I or I just do not feel like messing up the entire kitchen for us- now i do cook just not extravagant meals-

simple meals is what I do- just for Marcus and I-

and you know what he does not care about the extravagant meals and i know some may laugh at me and say he does not know what he is missing- exactly- he likes what I cook and right now that is all that matters

so whether you cook greatly and awesomely - good for you - I am glad you enjoy it- for me its not my cup of tea

oh by the way - my mashed potatoes were good and Marcus liked them

If this day would have never happened

I would have never met Sonia or Shannon at Aberdeen- who poured into Marcus' life-
and to this day are a apart of his life (Kindergarten)

I would have never met - Susan Crossley- Andrew Carini- Kris Madley. These people poured countless hours into our lives from 1st grade through 5th grade. We would not be where we are today. These awesome people took the time to watch Marcus after school when he was suspended from the bus or child care- they took the time to be with Marcus when he had issues on the bus and I had to pick up at the bus stop- I was able to call on them when Marcus took off from his before care. They helped in getting the much additional help that he needed when the time came. These people are dedicated to the students they teach and support- they are life changers- I believe these people will be apart of our lives forever

I would have never met the staff of Baycare Recovery Center or Baycare Behavioral Health- they are dedicated into helping those who can not help their selves- they assist in getting people on the right path and working with you- they have a difficult task at hand and do want the best for you

Manatee Palms and Miss Carmen I would have never met- someone who is dedicated to getting kids and teens on the right track

I would have never be able to talk with others about what they go through and letting them know they will make it to the other side- that it will be ok

I would have not crossed paths with Gig and Mo- or as we affectionately call Coach Gig and Auntie Mo. Gig has been there through some rough times - very supportive very encouraging but also very firm- Marcus loves him and looks up to him- He is an awesome mentor and great coach- he pours into the kid's lives in which he comes in contact with. They are an awesome addition to our family.

So today I am thankful for a life changing day 7 years ago at 11:30 in the morning on November 18th.

that was then

 this is now

Can u change

Can you change- yes you can-
Can you change others around you or your circumstances? no not really

this is a learning process for me- nothing major going on but just learning how to deal with things  a
little differently these days-

taking things one day at a time and trusting God with all things- going to Him first instead of last

I did not know I was so far behind in my posts

yes we did officially make straight As on his report card- the second 9 weeks starting is a little bit rougher but we have changed things up and hopefully he will be back on track.
soccer is now finished and they finished with an undefeated season- Marcus scored the winning goal for Saturdays game- a few of the parents has said he needs to play league ball and I am like I don't think so its too expensive - not in my budget unfortunately- so we will stick to these leagues and if he wants to play for school he will be able to -

i was not at the last game- I was at a women's summit where i was one of the speakers- what did i speak on my story- our story- overcoming adversity - children with behavioral problems- we surely have overcame
hmm i think i will post a song with this post

i enjoyed it and i just want to help people i want to help parents- i do not know everything about parenting still learning - i just know not to give up and some awesome skills i learned- I did make cards to pass out-
this is essentially what is on the card plus my email and other blog website

Parents You are Not Alone

One Parent Helping Others-
Helping Parents with Behavior Challenged Children- There is Hope

Marcus Fall Concert 2012

Well Marcus had a concert for school - and they sounded great- in his group there are 2 boys - so he was easy to pick out - he was center stage- he did very well- very proud- this young man is coming a long very well if I do say so myself-

We still have some issues but minor attitude and tired issue- nothing that can not be worked out- he just has to realize respect in my house is not an option but a requirement and disrespect will not be tolerated- he will get it soon- he does get it - he just forgets it when he is tired and yes I give him space when he is tired however there is a limit he is given. anyway if that is all I deal with great- I will work with it-

they sang a song by Rubert Lang - Can you imagine- brought tears to my eyes just because of the message it brings- look it up - you will see what I mean

Here are a couple of pictures

Some good news

Well multiple good news here-

report cards come out on Monday the 29th- however I know what the grades will be on it-
Straight As- I am so excited for Marcus and beaming on the inside - its a bit emotional for me- a good emotion but emotional- for those of you who know us well probably understand why-
He is a gifted young man and I could not be prouder of this accomplishment- wow wow wow is all I can say

and the other news November 21st will be our last day of therapy we will be discharged and we are both ready for it- his therapist is thrilled and said we did it together- and he is so happy with us as a success story-

beaming on the inside

smiling on the inside

normally this time of year would be a rough one in the house- 2 years in a row no issues - wahoo- only issue we have is tweeness and a smart mouth- with some disrespect- of course I had a long talk with him today about it-

anyway so I am smiling on the inside- marcus is doing so well - behaviorally and academically- very very well academically- will let you know more about this next week-

he is going to be a successful young man i know it i see it- smiling on the inside- now lets survive tween years and we will be good- (if i survived the first 6 years this will be no problem- :) )

he has taken on more chores without me asking- he feeds and waters the dog each evening- makes sure the laundry is dried and put away in my room or put away in his drawers- he moves the laundry to the dryer once washed- he takes the trash out ( well this one he has to work on a little) he has grown up a lot-

we both are still learning and growing - but things are good- i often think of mom and she would be so proud of him and how far he has come- she is missing out on the good years-

he misses her daily as we all do and he journals it that he is sad when she misses him- glad he is getting his feelings out when he journals I know it helps-

ok going out on a limb here

ok so one of my favorite things to do is to let people know they are not alone in this world- sometimes i forget that as well.

so my favorite thing to do is let parents know they are not alone - that there is help with that child with behavior problems- there is a light at the end of the tunnel-

i have seen the dark side of behavior challenged children and now I know that there can be a change in them that there is hope for them. i did not do everything right and i still am learning each day - i think it is called parenting- so i have struggled and still grow- i look to others and say here help with this problem i am having with the boy-

we are pretty good now actually more then pretty good we are doing awesome - we have our backwards days but don't we all?

so how do i get through it- help others along the way- making sure they know it is a day to day progress and we all struggle at times with the behavior challenged children in our lives- but we do grow from it and we learn so much as we grow from it

do you need help - do you need someone just to listen do you know you are not alone in your struggles with your child- i am no expert - i am not a psychologist - i just know what i went through and what i learned - knowing that you can make a difference in your child's life you you step back and just listen and know that it will pass and you become stronger from it - through HIM who gives you strength- you will make it i know this well

come over to my other blog just for you parents that may struggle - its ok to struggle - here to let you know you are not alone- i have been there and know you will make it- there is Hope!
http://www.parentsyouarenotalone.com/

hello from Charlotte

in NC for the last several days at a conference- i love conferences but they can be so tiring at times- the city of Charlotte is beautiful and the conference has been very good- I also have been able to just chill out and sleep - they have comfy beds at the Marriott.
I was also able to catch up with a former TBQer - it was nice he lives in the area and later today I will be going to Elevation Church- will post more on that later - here are some pictures- enjoy

do you ever..

wonder what your kids are thinking? do ever wonder if you make the right decisions about things- do you ever wonder what your kids will do when they get older- i do a lot however i am learning one thing day after day.
God has it in His hands- although at times I pick it up and try to handle it all on my own- why who knows- its a me thing and I am working on it - i remind myself to let God handle it - He's got it and when he's got it - it is a good thing

I am preparing to depart for a trip in which as I prepare there is so much to make sure I have covered-
who to watch Marcus- who to watch the dog- how Marcus will get to and from school and soccer game and who will cover my class and what needs to be done before I leave work- getting the house in order -making sure the other animals are taking care of- packing for me preparing for marcus-making sure things are covered for Lifegroups, and the list goes on.

do you ever wonder how much more you can put on your plate before exploding- well not exploding- but a little rupture- I love being busy and doing things that I love- don't get me wrong however organizing is the key at a time it just seems helter skelter- so i am working on being more organized taking time for me etc-

one of the things i did this week for me was hanging with some friends tuesday night- oh my word i laughed so hard my insides hurt- it was a good thing a very good thing- laughter is the best medicine -and so glad i was able to take the time and spend it with those special friends-
so take some time to laugh this week take time to stop and smell the flowers- take a moment for you rejuvenate yourself so you can continue to do the things you love

In honor of

My Aunt

Why- she is fighting breast cancer and she will win-I believe- this is my Aunt Cheryl and my Uncle Dave- they live in Wyoming- the past year for them has been a bit unnerving- my uncle lost his sister (my mom) and then aunt Cheryl was diagnosed with breast cancer
She is strong and I know she will get through it- and yet we all know that the treatments can take a toll on your body- she loves to teach and just this week she has had to put it on hold to take care of herself-
so will you lift her up in prayer and the family as well- she has 8 more treatments each week- we are here for you aunt Cheryl, uncle Dave, Sierra, Lucas and the rest of the family- we love you and think of you daily
We do have...

miracle child - part 3

so in january of 2011 the journey began - i took marcus to bradenton and there he stayed til july 1st- it was a long 5 months but we made it through- there really was no change in behavior until april- when a light bulb went off and he changed his heart and forgave his foster dad - apparently their was abuse going on in which we suspected but it all came out in therapy- I would travel once a week until april for therapy and visits- then he began to earn the privilege of time away from the facility- the transformation was phenomenal- he was making a difference- no aggression- he realized how he needed to cope - he learned how to cope- he learned what triggers it and how he triggers me. he coped - i saw it could not believe it- he was on the right meds and he was calm- other issues were taken care of when he was there as well- it was phenomenal again- how awesome God is. you see I was not there 24 /7 so i had no idea what was going on- i had to trust God with marcus- He reminded me often during those times- do you trust me - of course- i had no reason but to trust Him-
he came home pretty much every weekend since the April time frame- and when he finally came home in July - he was a different child- so different- so much fun so much fun- he was enjoyable to be around - we have laughed so much more- no signs of aggression except 2x of which he was very tired. so not bad for the last year and half- not bad at all
he went from being in the EBD program at school to being placed in regular classes in january 2012- and stayed there through the rest of the year. he also finished elementary school and is now in middle school in regular classes and in AP math- my miracle child - amazing he really is

he has a servants heart- wants to help people- his quote for this past weekend was this mom I am going to adopt 5 children so I can change their lives like you changed mine- then my 5 children will adopt 5 children so they can change those children's lives and soon with all the kids our family adopts we will solve the problem of having children to adopt (he was talking about in the state of Florida) - I love how he thinks- one person does make a difference-

i often have questioned how am i doing - i often have questioned why God me- I often have questioned where would he be if he was not mine?- i oftened have questioned how could i be so lucky so blessed - i often have questioned how did i make it through- i often have questioned- why did i not give up-

you see it was a battle and we won- i have done well (still question at times now with different things) why me cause God knew i would be stubborn enough to not give up on what His plan was- that i do not quit i keep persevering and keep persevering- i keep going- God knew that i would sit and smile after all the hard times and say wow- I made it through because God gave me the strength he gave me the friends and family to stand with me - why did i not give up- because God has a purpose for marcus- whether it be a Olympic track star- whether it be a police officer- whether it be a missionary - whether it be a dad that just wants to change other kids lives - God knew God knew what He needed and he knew we would not be defeated

Marcus is a joy he is so much fun- and I love how he asks questions - ok some of them i have no idea- and i have to ask for help during those times-

you see we went through a lot a lot- and this is just the minimal story- it was ugly to go through but we finally saw the light at the end of the very long tunnel and it is so bright now so very bright
do you need a miracle God will make a way- keep believing keep pressing on keep pursuing Him

miracle child - part 2

so we left off in 2008 - thing had settled down and it appeared marcus was on his way to recovery- so i thought in march 2009 and october 2009 we had episodes of very aggressive behavior and violence- out of control- not just at home at school at church- not little things either -
holes in walls- 8 year old little boys can be very strong when they have adrenaline going through their body- restraining him was all i could do and it was tiring so very tiring-
he was in the crisis center teice in 2009 and he appeared we were doing fabulous- track was going on- he started soccer - school was good- still was getting referrals but not so many- we had found child care and not be booted out at all. we made it through march of 2010 and was doing well - school year started and he was loving it and was having some issues but nothing crazy
then october 2010 came and like a bolt of lightening it hit and hit hard- th ephone call came and said marcus was brought back to school and was in the time out room- acting very violent.
i was on my way to school- and for 45 minutes after i got there he was in the TO room. not able to get control. when he finally did he was exhausted. we left. i reminded him on the way home more then half way- that he needed to do his HW and then get ready for church. and you thought i ended his world- we had to pull over and for 30 minutes at least we waited- in the meantime i had called his coach and he came to help and then i had to do the most difficult thing i had to call 911 on my child - hardest decision but saved our lives- the next 3 months marcus spent the majority of his time in the crisis center he was out of control- i got to know the staff quite well during those times- they are awesome. for me the most draing emotional physical and mental time- why was this happening and why could i not have normalcy in the house- oh the aggression for us was his normalcy during this time however I did  not like the normalcy-

we had decided meaning myslelf the doctors his school behavioral specialist that he - that we needed something more permanent- the thought of losing my son overwhelmed me with pain- i did not know where all of this would lead too. we got the approval for residential care with in a month and within a week Marcus and I were preparing to take on the next journey of our family... it was a very overwhelming - during all this time - I continued to work- I continued to stay involved with the church ministries- life kept going ...

stay tuned for the rest of the story and how the miraculous happened

a miracle child- part 1

i know i brag a lot i mean a lot- about how well marcus is doing but we have come so far and he has changed so much-for those of you who do not know or have only just begun reading let me tell our story- some of the details many may not know - do not judge me for you did not know how life was for us before

ok so in 2005 i decided to adopt a child- a single parent i chose to be- some , including myself thought i was crazy- it was awesome i became a mom - i remember the day of the adoption like yesterday- i had family and friends there and we were very late in the proceedings but it was good- he was so tiny and so mischeivous- still is with a smirky smile he has-
the papers were signed and it was official i was now responsible for this cute 4 and half year old- he was cute with no teeth.

he did kids stuff so i thought until he kicked the directors door 37 times at child care fortunately for me it was my sister who was the director and said time to get him evaluated- because he was already removed from one childcare. ( by the time he was in 3rd grade we had been through 11- yes 11).

begin seeing an awesome psychologist and psychiatrist- yes we seeked additional help why - hmm throwing chairs - tables- hitting - biting etc. not your normal violence in a 4 year old

He was placed on meds and such and seemed to stable out- however labor day weekend 2008 I remember so well i was afraid to stay home alone yes afraid- of a 7 year old- not a good place to be at all- he was very violent and caused bruising on my legs - not feeling safe at all so i had to make a decision to get more help more help he needed i did not know what else to do- i was failing at being a mom- well so i thought - but this i had no control over- this was bigger then me- so i took him to the er and he went off the wall there and he ended up being transported to a crisis unit for a week. where i was asked why had he not been here sooner- and how have you been handling him. they were amazed

i was not sure what was going to happen- i missed work for a week cause i was not sure what to do- i was emotionally and physically drained-

marcus was in an awesome school at this point and the teachers were phenomenal and so supportive-
I am forever grateful for the staff at LMES- they surely are life changers

soo what happens next- well stay tuned for the next part of the miraculous turn around tomorrow.......

Weekend- wrap up ok Sunday wrap up

we had an amazing day at church this morning with starting LIFEgroups- so many new faces during this time and so excited to see what is next for these groups- so if you are in the Tampa Bay area come see us at 9:30 am at Celebration Church on Sunday - I am sure we can find a group that you will love.

Marcus and I hung out at home this afternoon- me studying and him watching football- yes football - he has learned the game quite quickly- and he coaches the team as we sit there and watch- he is definitely my mom's grandson- LOL.

My son amazes me- he has such a kind heart- i deal with normal kid stuff now and think wow He knew the plan the whole time- if only He would have informed me a little sooner - maybe He did and I was not listening- Marcus is truly a blessing and growing into a responsible young man- Now I ask him to do things and I do not get complaining but is there anything else. He has some tough classes this year for middle school and he is doing so well- so proud so very proud-

he is a servant - been at the church a lot lately and whatever is asked of him he does- no complaining just does it cause it needs done.

smiling on the inside

soccer time

 Prayer Time- He is number 18 the one on the left.

 There he goes off and running with the ball.

 

We started soccer practice a couple weeks ago with Myrtle Lake Baptist- and Upwards Sports- I love it- they focus on having fun - winning /losing and most importantly a relationship with Christ. They have devotional times during practice and prayer before the games. The people with Myrtle Lake are awesome- very down to earth- and are there to have fun and spread Christ through sports- very neat group. I am glad we were able to find them and get Marcus back in soccer. We missed it for 2 years. One of the dads said Marcus was really good. Sooooooooo, either soccer or track - hmm scholorship and Olympics here we come. no pressure I just want him to enjoy both sports- he loves them both and now tells me from watching the Olympics he wants to run the 3000 next year. Can you do 2 sports in the Olympics?

Growing up

Not sure who it is harder for - Marcus or me- probably me- the last 2 weeks has been crazy - middle school starting, ortho appt, therapy appt, meetings at the school- soccer starting- working on life groups for church- I am exhausted- but i think it is a good exhaustion

Marcus went to his first youth lock in - yes you read it correctly - he is now in youth- no more children's church unless he wants to help in there - in which I think he probably will.But he has to wait a year so in to main service he goes beginning this week

We had a fabulous Sunday service- and now begin to prepare for Life group launch this coming Sunday

I got my old computer up and running and ready for Marcus- he has his own- how is this possible- i got him a skin to cover up the purple cover I have - and this is what he chose

go figure you think he has Steeler blood running through his veins-

I was very proud of him yesterday - such a servant- he was cleaning the tables off for breakfast yesterday at church- love it- love it love it-
He chose to do it - was not asked just jumped in and helped - i love that about him and he is so improving his help around the house-
Chores are done without hassle- I think he is finally realizing I need him to help or else we can not enjoy times just chilling and watching the Rays game ( which we are doing now) or the buc or bulls or steelers and or track and the list goes on

Week of craziness

Good morning-

Well- I was hoping to write a little more frequently but have not- sad :(
this week was as crazy as last week- Monday we had a hurricane day at work -went in for a little bit making sure all was ok but then left- (it really was not bad here) - work was busy as we were catching up and I am in the middle of evaluations, studying for an exam- making sure we are on top things as our October inspection approaches-
then home life- Marcus' in middle school is going to make me go a little crazy- I know I know- it is just the first weeks- well at least he is not getting home late anymore and he is there when I get there.
we had a meeting at school on Thursday for Chorus - he likes it and he will be having a busy year with that- He does however think I know nothing about how to do assignments-
I think I have had more HW then him- signing him up for textbooks on line- making sure he has his smartmusic online- getting my old computer up and running for him (still working on this)

then while doing home life- work life - church life steps in - working on our life groups launch with Pastor Larry- we are going to have amazing classes for all ages- I can not wait to see how God will use these classes-

so with all this going on needless to stay I had a little bit of an overwhelming party yesterday afternoon- it did not last too long- I do not have time with that- :)
and next week should be even crazier as we will have soccer practice and a soccer game on Saturday- wa hoo.

Can someone clone me now please :)

Catch Up time

OK so we have started middle school and so far so good-
Marcus has really begin to mature and grow and I am very proud of him- he is working things out and he is still realizing it is better to be respectful and do coping skills when he needs to-
We have come so far and the journey is still ahead-
I often think back of the hard times and my heart smiles that we made it through-
He is a precious precious young man in which God has entrusted me with. How did I ever get chosen?

So school began - soccer began- I have HW for school now- Marcus is chorus so we will have those concerts- and so the life of a busy middle schooler begins. I rearranged his room and added a few things to help him be organized.

I often sit and think what would my mom say- she would be so amazed - I truly believe it- she would be like he is not at all like he was-

A year ago today

My momma left this earth- its a sad day today when I think of her- I have learned a lot through the year- I have a big hole in my heart and it hurts when I think of her- right now it hurts quite a bit-
I have come to appreciate my family and friends so much more- I love my family and friends - what would I do with out them- I do not know- I appreciate life more now then ever
I miss my mom's phone calls- I would usually call her on my way home to pick up Marcus-
I miss this time of the year with her as we would go clothes shopping for the kids for school- we would find the sales- {smile}
She would be so proud of Marcus and how successful he has become- Look mom we made it to Middle School can you believe it? and No special classes all regular- well we may be in AP math.
I am sure she was laughing hysterically as we cooked the Turkey in the driveway last year and probably was thinking what are they doing to my kitchen- she always would say get out of the kitchen- And the words of my mom when the kids ask where something goes- In the Oven we still say it and we laugh all over again.

I think of the day she was no longer with us - I can remember it like yesterday- time stood still that day.

Marcus and I got up and went to the hospital and sang to mom and then the Drs spoke to us and said they needed to speak with dad- we waited there and spoke with the Dr and her the news we need to make a decision in the nex 24 hours- well, not the new we were hoping for. So Marcus and I went and prayed with mom and went on to church- My phone rang as I was leaving service and it was dad and said to get back to the hospital it is not looking good- arrived at 1 pm- mom was gone at 1:25pm.
I was able to hold her hand until her body shut down and that was precious to me- Called Adam and let him know and then he let my Celebration Family know-  Bekah came and stayed with us for a bit then Pastor Gray met up with us at the house- a flood of comments on my facebook page was so comforting- met up with Chrsty Cain in the evening and sat and talked for 2 hours and then the police thought we were trouble makers in the Target parking lot {smile}Yes this day is forever etched in my mind.
I often look at her picture and ask her why she had to leave us so soon there was so much more to share. Never have gotten an answer I just know mom is well and whole- as she was sick and let no one know it and we did not know how long this was going on. No more pain

I love you momma- always in my heart- miss you much

Being Faithful During Tribulation

Faithful during Tribulation

Matthew 5:11-12

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you

Focus: Be Faithful in tribulation

Happy are you when people insult you- persecute you and lie about you because of Jesus. Rejoice and be glad- our reward is great in heaven- the prophets were treated the same way before us

So how many of you are happy when someone inflicted pain or insult on you? Not sure about you but I usually am not rejoicing when people insult me- or lie about me- in reality it upsets me.

When was the last time you praised God for going through a trial or tribulation- not so much fun those trials however the word says to be faithful to Him.

Revelation 2:10

Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life

In your afflictions Jesus sees it he knows what you are going through- he knows your pain

-      Michele you have no idea what trial I am going through- I lost my job, my family has issues, I have health issues- you know what I probably do not know – however I have been through my own trials- and I know being faithful to God and serving Him was the only way that it got me through those trials-  2011 was a year of trials for me My son would threaten me hurt me wish I was dead he was very volatile – the first 5 months of the year I had to admit my son to a residential facility in which I had no control over and had to leave him there 24/7- I thought my world had crumbled- I felt a lone and abandoned- and no one understood what I was going through- I felt defeated as a mom- however I did not leave serving God and reading His word and praying- although I could have - yet when I served Him and was faithful during those 5months my God strengthened me- healed my son from his past-brought us closer together as a family and God brought him home a month early. And just when Marcus was brought home a month later I lost my mom unexpectedly- totally rocked my world- I am sure many of you have lost someone close to you- there is just something about losing your mom that hits you like a lead balloon- another trial to go through with dealing with my emotions and again working through Marcus emotions in regards to it- he had never lost a family member- but yet through it all remained faithful to serving God and trusting him- yes I took some time off just to regroup but got right back in it – never stopped praying never stop seeking answers- through my trials it brought me closer- it brought me to want to help others more so that may go through things I have been through-

-      Not saying this past year was easy as pie- cause it was not it tested me brought me to my knees many times- I was angry at times but never at God- but because I knew he held me close – Did I praise God when Marcus went away yes yes I did- why cause he was getting the help in which God provided- Did I praise God for my mom dying -  I did not praise  him for her dying but I did praise him that she was not suffering anymore-

Michele I could never be faithful in my walk with God if trials came my way I fall apart and fall away- Why would you fall away from a God who could have easily have jumped from the cross- Do you think it was easy for Him to suffer the pain and trials he did for you on the cross- it was painful he was insulted he was made fun of he was spit on he was tortured-  yet he remained faithful to you – You were on His mind –when he took the insults the ridicule the pain- You were in His heart when hung on that cross.

What it takes to be faithful

1.    Prayer- and praise

a.     Pray in all circumstances- pray through-

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus

Psalm 17:6

 I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer

Psalm 66:19-20

 but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!

How amazing is it that God hears us and listens to us – How amazing it that he loves us

2.    Be accountable-

Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend

a.     Someone knows you are going through something make sure that they hold you accountable and work through it with Him

b.    Allow them to listen allow them to be there- I know this is hard I speak from experience of thinking I can do it all by myself

3.    Stay involved- and help others

Ephesians 4:29

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen

Even though going through trials I did take some time off of what I was involved in- but when I got back involved it was very therapeutic – my trials were not gone- my son was still in residential care but I was able to focus on God’s work and not my trials

When my mom passed away I took a couple of weeks off- and let me tell you this was very hard for me to get back into teaching – or being involved at all- Sundays for a very long time were difficult cause I associated moms death with Sundays cause that was the day she died. But when I got back into teaching Sunday School and teaching the kids the pain began to diminish-and my trial began to fade I was helping others learn the word -

4.    Know you are not alone- Jesus disciples went through persecution and ridicule and yet were faithful- Job was faithful and the reward was great for Job-Jesus was faithful to you

James 5:11

11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Matthew 19:27-30

27 Then Peter said to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed You; what then will there be for us?” 28 And Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you, that you who have followed Me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on His glorious throne, you also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last; and the last, first.

Stay Faithful during tribulations and trials- when you are persecuted your reward will be great – your reward will be eternal.

the words or communications forever in my mind

so yesterday my thoughts were of my mom- you see a year ago I got a phone call and said mom was rushed to the ER with a possible stroke- well it was a perforated ulcer- which went septic and that is all I am going to say about that-
But she was in the ICU and we went to see her - she opened her eyes once and spelled on my dad's hand in which I interpreted and answered-
What were her last questions and statements-
What happened? Where are the kids? and I love you

three questions forever embedded in my mind- and yes I am missing my mom- miss her everyday-

So many questions in one day

wow not sure what all the questions were about today - Marcus began asking questions about his foster home and I told him what I knew- he does not remember a lot anymore- thank goodness- and then he asked why his biological mom could not take care of him- so I asked are you ready to hear the truth- he said yes - so I was honest- about how she did drugs how she had sexually transmitted diseases and how she was unable to care for him- it all started with the conversation of how he could adopt a child when he got older cause he wanted to help challenging kids like I helped him
Anyway- he was like why did I not get any of her diseases I said well you did but they gave you something as a baby to get rid of it- what about the rest of the diseases she has- I said only God could protect you from the rest of the diseases you could have gotten from her. we had a really in depth conversation about the whole thing- I said one day when you are a little older if you want to meet her I will help you find her- of course he asked what if she has those diseases still I said not sure- I also said not sure if she will still be alive when we search for her- He asked about his biological dad - we do not know who he is and not sure how to go about finding that out- I said right now let us focus on you still and when the time is right we will look for your mom together- I do not want to fall backwards when we have come so far forwards- I do not mind him asking - he knows I am his mom and he knows I would do anything for him- I think it is important for kids to know the truth about their adoption and not hide things from them if they ask- how do adoptees feel check this link out and see Adoptee
Marcus was also asking about mom today- mommy do you remember when you and Pastor Gray prayed for grannie and she moved - what did she move- I said her eyes and her mouth- Did she accept Jesus then- Yes I honey I am believing she accepted Jesus then- ok good then we will see her again- whew so many questions today

Week in Review

Ok last Wednesday we hit the road with 10 of us and we were off to Kids Camp- we arrived to mass chaos in which I was like whoa- of course this was all normal for kids camp so I had to take a step back in my mind and just let it go for now and go with the flow- I like order but that was not happening and I got in the groove of it- I had 18 girls in the room I was a counselor - there was 2 of us that were in there as counselors- many many of of kids were very young or first time campers-
let me just say I had to breathe the first day a lot- and let me just say I love my son so much and thankful for him so much drama with that many girls-oh they were fun but at time whew!
Ok so the Evangelist doing the services were awesome- loved some of the object lessons and now have a few ideas for our children's church
One of the things that impressed me the most was the gelling of the entire counselor staff- we all come from all over Florida and some of us not knowing one another but we gelled why we had one purpose making "memories" as Pastor Billy would say. I was not there for my self but for the kids- although God did touch my heart.
I had one little girl in my room that I was like oh my word she is going to drive me to insanity- well God said guess what she is the one you are here for- are you kidding me- well- more on her later
I think I got a total of 6 hours of sleep the entire time we were there-
We had talkers in our room- sleep walkers and one child ( the one I was there for) who had night terrors each night- talk about being woke up - poor love- she was asleep -the entire time and we just kept praying for her each night- i was on the top bunk so jumping down 1-2 x a night for her did a toll on my body- its ok though- i will survive
We had a great time in our water time - and jousting time I beat the tar out of one of the counselors all in the name of fun - "smile"
as for the altar times- we had amazing time- the kids really went after God and spent time with Him-

I prayed for the little girl that I was sent for ( i truly believe) the last night- got down on her level- she has ADHD and a troubled home life- she was often off in her own little world and would not listen- yep those are my kind of kids - to make a difference- so anyway as I prayed God spoke to me and told me to look at her-so I looked at her and told her what God laid on my heart- that she was amazing and God had a plan for her and she can do anything she put her mind to- and that even though she is a wild child (big smile) God loves her and He has something special for you- of course as I was telling her I was crying but through my tears I could see her eyes light up and she had a big grin on her face. that face is forever embedded in my mind.
I had one girl told me she wishes I was her mom because she has not seen her mom when she was 2. heart pull
Our girls that went had a great time and they were big helps to other girls- I am very proud of them!
Will I go back- already planning for next year!