Time for Reflection

We celebrate this time of year the birth of Christ- our Savior our King of Kings- I have much to be celebrating this year-and yet at the same time my heart misses my mom- I know this is normal I get it- I often think about how proud she would be of her daughters and grandkids- particular Marcus- no disrespect to Ainsley and Dakota- she would be proud of them too.

Yesterday I was deleting and going through old emails and found an email from December 2, 2010 an email with an attachment of an application for residential care for Marcus. It was so fitting as Marcus and I delivered some goodies to the crisis center where he stayed quite a bit in 2010. They were so proud of how well he is doing.

I often think of all the kids that need help or are in the facilities in which Marcus once did- When we were at the crisis center we were told they were full- full of children- my heart broke as I knew that feeling that their parents were going through- but they all were safe and getting help. Marcus said he hopes they all get better- he wants others to know they can do it too as he has gotten the help.

Mom saw what Marcus was like and it made her nervous - she saw the ugly meltdowns- I am so glad she saw just a glimpse of what I see everyday now in June of 2011. She would truly be amazed now!

I often wish she was here just so she can enjoy him as much as I do now- she would laugh as much as I do now with him ( he is quite funny - especially when he gets really tired). Oh I know I can not change or have my wish come true and I also know I need to be thankful for what I have now and enjoy life each day. I get it just sometimes it is a little harder then others and Christmas time is one of them.

so mom- I miss you - I love you and I know you would be so proud of this incredible young man.

Enjoy some old photos