Sometimes a person needs to change- their perspective of things around them- that is what I have done the last couple of days- I am learning ways to deal with Marcus in a more positive approach and I have also realized to look back at where he was - not dwell on it but remember the impact the first 4 years of his life has had on him- these are the most significant years that formed him-
I am not perfect by any means and daily work with him and myself- the last few days we have talked about his fears - his feelings - a lot of what is going on inside- I see you are feeling mad or angry- I see you are feeling sad can I help you work through what is going on- the last few days have been pretty good-
I think for me the best thing that could have happened did this week- the bus issue- it allowed me to make him breakfast - work things out if there was a problem in the morning- oh I know I was frustrated and aggravated but things happen for a reason and I am glad it did looking back on the week- he even told me he has enjoyed it-but waas ready tio ride the bus with his friends.
Not making excuses for his behavior - but we really do not truly know what happened to him- we have our ideas but we will probably never know- his behavior are not acceptable by any means however-
There are certain things I am learning on how to deal with him and it works- keep from overstimulation- talk things out- let him know what you are feeling - let him know you see his frustrations or his anxiousness- he responds well- now this is not saying he will be perfect or not have a meltdown but for the most part this week it has worked.
I think I am more sensitive to what he needs- am I perfect at it no way- I still get frustrated- tired and sometimes need help-time for me-I know I rely on maybe if burden some of my friends- but that is not the intention at all.
I know at times I stress over things - over stress at things at times- little things can stress me to a point of overwhelming and some may not understand why I could allow that to happen- life happens and from work- to getting Marcus in school- home life( chores etc), church. I enjoy all of it I do but sometimes you need to evaluate things- step back and evaluate what is important and say yes this needs to change or no it is okay. Do I need to change things? some- and I started today- yesterday - last night- this week.
The only people effected by the changes will be Marcus and I - started with therapy - started with going to Bingo tonight- our shopping list for groceries.
These are my random thoughts
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