On my heart - part 2 of ?

(Novemeber 2005)

Well- this may be a shocker but single parents are on my heart- probably cause I am one- and I do not have all the answers but I am learning daily- it is no easy task- for me I have come so far in becoming a single parent.

My heart goes out to all single parents regardless of how they became a single parent-death, divorce or in my case I chose to adopt - I know call me crazy. but I love it even in the rough times because it is in those times (afterwards that is) I learn so much about myself and how much stronger I become. I know as a single mom of 1 it is tough never mind a single mom or dad that has 2 or 3 or 4- you all are amazing


Single parents goes through things that a married couple raising children together go through but in a different light. May I enlighten you. Thanks for allowing me to do this.

Single parents often feel alone and not be able to ask for help- I can do it I am super mom ( my case) when in fact that is not true at all . As a single parent you are not alone- you first have the love of God to strengthen and guide you- I know my faith has increased tremendously just by becoming a single parent- trusting in Him makes everything so much better. You trust and have a support system- other single parents- married couple- married couples with kids- other parents that have special needs children- go to them for guidance and to talk to- I know for me there are times where I have felt alone- and no one was there for me- no not really - but in the beginning of my journey as a single parent I felt that way- that asking for help was like I was failing at what I was doing- Now oh no no- anytime that I can get help or people offer suggestions I use it a lot of times to see if it will work- Most of the time it does- For example I was talking to Bernie a few weeks ago now and we were discussing if... then statements and you know I use them a whole lot more with Marcus now and it works- go figure- so trust those who may have older children they have been through it and they do know what they are talking about- or this weekend pouring many times over positive things into your child's life to help offset the negative (thanks PD). There are times when us single parents need to get out with other adults- church is a good place for this- Be involved with your church- let your church family know what is going on. They can give you strength as well. I love my church family- they are so supportive- would do anything for me and are such encouragers- I have a few at church who can read me pretty well and know just when I need a little bit of encouraging words- or they ask Marcus how his week was and if he says not so good they encourage him to treat mommy good and do well in school.

(Marcus and his cousin Ainsley -ages 6 and 5)

As a single parent we get concerned about finances- sometimes you wonder where is this bill going to get paid from- first let me tell you speakng from experience again- pay your tithes- really- honesty here in the beginning I was not sure what was going to happen I was barely making enough for bills and to stay a float with groceries and such- but God is so faithful he blessed me with a tremendous raise and I am so greatful for that- (that was over a year and half ago). Yes there are times when a bill comes in- when I am not sure how it will get paid but it always does- first the tithes then the bills- trust God with your finances- it may not always be easy but he will supply your needs time and time again.

As a single parent- we need to take time for ourself- this I know I do not do as much as I should. Hey what can I say I am a work in progress- I have only been a parent for a little over 2 1/2 years - although it seems much longer at times. Even if it is to go to the grocery store.

For me some of the hardest times are;
1. when I have had a long day at work - run to get him- come home - do homework- get dinner read- showers - most days are pretty well but sometimes I wish there was someone there to help out
2. when I am sick- I still have to get him off to school or what ever he has plans for- never me first he always has to be taken care of.
3. when he has a rough day and I am just too beat to handle it - here it is your turn- I sorta do this- Oh I call Uncle Adam- Aunt Lori- Uncle Stacy - Pastor Larry-
it is like would you please talk to him I can not get through to him-these days are fewer and farther between by the love and grace of God- he is just working in that young man- I feel a healing coming on.
4. Cleaning the house- Can someone else do it for a change?

But you work through things and you are able to do it- I do get stressed and overwhelmed if I told you I did not that would be so untrue- but those days are not as frequent as before - why and how- God's guidance - patience (lots of) and a wonderful family (church and extended)- learning and researching how to deal with behavioral challenged children.