Have you ever wondered where God was?

Read on before you blast me with Michele how could you write that title?

Last week for me was so very overwhelming - I truly thought I was losing my mind- now some of you may think that happened long ago- well-

I just had no idea which way was up- Marcus was having a very bad week and I was not doing well with it at all- I basically spent one day out of work because of behaviors that were not acceptable- and Wednesday did me over the edge- I thought I was going nuts- it really was just very very bad anxiety- yes it got a hold of me and I am so glad that it is over- this happened through Thursday and by Sunday my anxiety was gone- Why here it is.

Wednesday in service I wanted for God to show me where are He was when I am going through the 3 days of horribleness- I know that is not a word -

Why are you not where you need to be? I did not want to go to service because of what was going on the inside of me- bascially tormenting myself because of Marcus choices-

But I am so glad I did- he was a great time- even though I still was not convinced God was really there- ( again don't go there)

Thursday and Friday I got refocused and that was very good- still wondered where God was in all that was going on with my family-

Saturday was better for me- I was quiz mastering and was watching my son quiz when he was sick- God gave him strength to get through the day with a positive quiz out- in my room- God was there helping him.

Sunday was such a gift to me- wow you all just do not kn0w how God is so real- because I prayed God this week has been not so good for me- show me how real you are. Okay well he did many times over that day first with the most outstanding tongues and then interpretation- PD I am so glad you were obedient to God- because that was so for me.

You see God is right here next to me- he did not go anywhere-I did not go anywhere- I just lost sight of what God was doing- I was relying too much on myself hence the over anxiety and meltdown I had-Why do I do that? so I trust God with all things - I can not say it is easy for me - really that would be an untruth.

Case in point- Marcus' before and after school care has a internet viewing ability- I am not watching it this week as much as I want to- I am not- why because God said to trust Him

This for me is a very good thing- so far this week we are doing well-

It is amazing God is amazing- Sometimes I feel like why do I hold on to these things when I am suppose to be trusting God with everything- I like to be in control- but with Marcus I think this definately is a need for God to be totally in control- oh I will be there to guide him and discipline but through God's guidance -

So where is God- right where I left Him- waiting for me to keep trusting in Him and relying on Him for all that he has for our lives- I am so thankful for His grace

Isaiah 41:10 (New Living Translation)
10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.