where has the time gone

today my life was forever changed 8 years ago- I had no idea what was to come in the next 6 years- for this was the day I became Marcus' mom- yes I adopted him through the foster care system and my life was forever changed and hopefully his too.
I have learned a lot over the last several years.
What are they you ask- here is a list
1. Unconditional Love is so powerful
2. that Nothing is Impossible for God to those who Believe
3. the power of prayer is so amazing
4. Trusting God with what He has entrusted you with
5. Hope is the promise of tomorrow
6. Never Giving Up - fight hard
7. that God can change things in an instant
8. Forgiveness is a powerful tool
9. Honesty is crucial and Consistency is essential
10. Laughter is needed

I encourage those of you looking to adopt - adopt those kids in foster care that need the loving homes that you have. These kids are amazing, I know this quite well. You can make a difference.

the last weekend in october

I often think back during this last weekend of October- why? for several years in a row we spent this weekend in the crisis unit- and this time of year would always be the spiraling out of control time. you won't understand even if you were walking beside me or been through something similar-because it was my living turmoil- oh Michele you are just exaggerating. you may think but for me nope not really. I think back to realize how far we have come. I think back of the screaming ( him yelling I hate you), the bruises (he gave me), the restraint techniques I had to learn, the many times I sweated as I held on for dear life to the incredible hulk child, the times things were thrown across the room (wooden stools he threw), the times he spent in the TO room at school banging to get out, the times he would punch the windows in the car, the times he would take off running and not stop, the times where he would run out of the house and begin to torment the dog with the doorbell or punch the car. There were many of nights where I would just say what am I to do. not many know but I was scared to be at home with him often staying with friends. October was the trigger month for reasons I do not know - something in his past its called PTSD and it happens in kids.
I often look back to say thank you God for your love and your healing power- this is our 3rd year of no major outbreaks no crisis centers, no yelling, no bruises, no not being scared to stay at home.

instead, we laugh, we goof off, we act all crazy together. we talk, we learn, we grow together.
I learned a lot from marcus- I learned not to give up not to let go- to keep pressing on when there seemed no hope. that every person deserves a chance- oh it cost me a lot during those times, my emotional state, my physical state were all drained. but I am thankful for healing for wholeness and for redemption. I learned from marcus forgiveness is such a powerful weapon against those who have hurt us- he took a stand for himself and overcame so much. so very proud of him.
so I look back on this weekend so I can look forward to so many more exciting events to come.

we went from
 to this

middle school soccer tryouts

well Marcus tried out for his first school team- he made the first cut but unfortunately he did not make the second cut- most who made it were 8th graders.
we got home and he was filling his water bottle, he turned around, his eyes welled up and he bursted in to tears- mom I wanted to make the team- I said I know- I know - gave him a hug- and said now we know how it is - so next year we are prepared- I know he said but I still wanted to make the team

your heart breaks for you children when they hurt or are disappointed- you want to fix it but know you cant-

he still is disappointed but he is with his Coach Gig tonight so that should help mend the hurt a little bit.

He is still a winner in my book

So he did not make the soccer team yet his first 9 weeks grades were excellent 1 B the rest As - so proud of him- so very proud- he is in all advanced classes. I am so so proud- he is awesome

the need for adult conversations

its so early in the morning- well no not really- anyway- have you ever just needed adult conversation- well this weekend I finally realized how much I need it- it began Friday where I was just like ugh- nothing was wrong with Marcus he was fine- just when you are the one with your child 24/7 ( I know school time is there) you need adult conversation- this past weekend I realized it more then ever- and so thankful for each opportunity I had this past weekend to enjoy the conservations I had through the weekend from Saturday Evening through early  Monday Morning- I am truly blessed by the people in my life who realize how much adult conversations are needed. I love my boy but also realize there are times where it is so so important I take to enjoy those adult times as well. I need to do this more.
- the conversations this weekend were a range from football to ministry ideas to ordering dinners to relationships to kids and the list goes on- so blessed by the people in my life that I can call on-

A note to my mom

hey mom - you are missing out on somethings and I just wanted to share with you-
they said when you lose someone it gets easier but you never get over it- so true- it is easier most days but not over the fact you are gone from this planet- oh you are in my heart and some of my actions whew-
some may think I am a wacko doodle for writing you but they will get over it-  I guess cause its get closer to the holidays in which it is not as easy with you being gone- come on lets face it you did it all for us- cooked wherever we were- celebrated like crazy with your decorations- you were all about the holidays- Lori gets that from you :) me I like to be simple you know that well- this year not looking as if to decorate - why the house is still in shambles - working on it though not giving up on this- just wish it was done- anyway mom- so for thanksgiving its dad and Marcus and I - Lori's crew got a trip to NY- so they will be there NYC- they are gonna freeze- dad wants KFC - hmm dad if you are reading this I have an alternate plan- I have dinner covered - for those of you reading know my cooking skills- I can cook I just don't like to but will for this Thanksgiving- I can do it :)

ok so mom what have you been missing - Marcus is on honor roll again this year- he will be trying out for the school soccer team - and Nov 6th he finally will have his braces off- he is an awesome kid and I know you would be proud of him- wish you were here to watch him sing last night- he looks so handsome in his tuxedo-
I am so loving the middle school age- no not really- in all reality its not too horrible just dealing with normal middle school age stuff- I know you would say oh my the stories I could tell on you- let us not go there-

I love u mom and miss u- always in my heart always on my mind-

Single Parenting is Not for the Faint at Heart

I know I chose to be a single parent- I chose to adopt- I know this. However there are some days where its not just the parenting to come in to play- you are the only person, only adult to handle the following (it may be different for some)- please be advise I love my life but there are days where I am like ugh:
Remember its me and the son at home no other adults- no one to vent to no one to come home to and say its your turn. I am being transparent- and I love my friends - don't get me wrong- I love them dearly but sit in my shoes for a day-mind you there are other things around me going on right now, you will see my list and for those of you with more then one child you all are awesome.

I think a lot of what's going on right now has a lot to do with my HOUSE being TURNED upside down- due to a FLOOD back in July-
you see I have half of my kitchen and living room in my bedroom and Marcus' bedroom (his is pretty good -with most of it in my room)- concrete floor, open walls, exposed plumbing, the cat getting stuck by the washer- all my stuff packed up in boxes from the kitchen- cooking from the microwave ( yes I miss the stove cooking and oven- I know how to cook some things) - the dog needing to eat in my room- the cat eats in my bathroom- I know way more information then you all need to know but this is where I am right now- today this very moment. I want my house back in order- I know its a process and so thankful for friends telling me that - I may have gone off the deep end earlier if I did not know that. my dog loves the concrete me- its ok but would like flooring back in the house- what am I waiting on insurance- they did not get it correct the first time- its ok - but really want it all back together. Now I am in the process of picking out things for the house to get it back in order- this should be easy right- no not really- I mean I am excited about getting new things- but then my house will be more turmoil when the rest of the cabinets get ripped out- I know - get over it Michele- well is your house turned upside down- no- I am thankful I can still live in the house- I am thankful I was gone for a week when it happened. but enough is enough. I am ready for my house to be put back together again.

then of course dealing with paying the bills, making sure Marcus is doing what he needs to do- he is in a phase I do not like right now- hopefully I eliminated that my blocking his computer (we had a great talk this evening) - I know this phase will pass- I know it will but some days I would just like to not handle it and pawn it off on someone else- I love the boy to bits I really really do- as a single parent I don't have the luxury of discussing things with my spouse and having them handle it every once in a while. I am the one having to help him with his HW- (when did 7th grade HW get so hard by the way?) he is good about doing it and all but whew sometimes I have no idea. I am the one disciplining, coming up with consequences, discussing anything else that may come up- again most of the time I am good- and trust me what I am dealing with now is nothing compared to what it was before - I can handle aggression :) its the stupid silly stuff whew. He is a good kid - I am blessed but there are days where whew another person to help would be great

then of course grocery shopping - last minute school stuff to get (I get it goes with the territory) it falls on me - I can't say let your father take you while I finish cooking dinner- its more like ugh when dinner is over we will have to go get it.

then there is work and ministries I am involved with - I enjoy both very much but there are times all of it takes its toll on you- from work, to the house (which I think this is the greatest source right now), to ministry, to dealing with Marcus and middle school junk. calgon take me away away away

I know it will get better and I know this too shall pass- but there are sometime where it all gets so overwhelming- and I just have to sit and pray (sometimes that does not help either) I know we will overcome- we have many times- this is just a brief  brief glimpse at my life-

Mental Health Awareness Week -

Mental Health Awareness is so dear to my heart and I am passionate about people getting the help they need. Why- one word- MARCUS!
He suffered from PTSD, ADHD, RAD and mood disorders- I used the past tense suffered- did you see that- I am not saying we have bouts of re occurrence - we do occasionally but not like before

Getting help is so essential to live a full and productive life- he is only 12 but his life has changed so much since we finally got the help he so needed- was it a fun process no- but we went through it and God was in all of it. When I did not know how I would get through God gave me the strength.

Dealing with a child with mental health issues is very draining on a person - on your mental health and yes I had to go get help as well- it was needed to keep my sanity through dealing with all of the things he was dealing with but I tell you we are overcomers- and God brought us to the other side- He is amazing



So be aware of mental health issues - get the help you need- get the help your family member or friend may need and you will overcome

time to share - going to be blatantly honest

at times in our life we get discouraged, disappointed and struggle  with things- well I  am no different - just like all the rest of you- I go through those times and sometimes it just the overwhelming of life - being a mom- being in ministry - being the head of the household, working full time.
you get disappointed when people don't get you or don't understand where you are coming from- you get disappointed in people when they do things you don't expect- you get discouraged by things not working out the way you want- you struggle with things that you thought were not a problem-


so honestly-
have you ever been disappointed with people and did not know how to handle it- yep that is me- I thought or expected a difference but I guess I was wrong- no need to go into detail of what or who here- that is not important and I am sure I have disappointed people in my life as well-

 I have been discouraged by a support group I am trying to get off the ground and have gotten no responses until recently- it is my hearts passion to help those parents who have children with behavioral challenges- letting them know they are not alone- I want to be there for them, and show them there is an up side. I know the parents are out there- I know they think they are alone- I went through the same thing- how do I get help? where is help? how can I change to help my child?
Speaking to friends they are like it will come keep going after your dream your passion, some don't want to admit they need help or have issues.

struggles- I have a struggle that I have been working through- thought I was over it thought it was not a big deal-its not a horrible big deal just a struggle right now in which I know I will overcome- just at this moment its a little difficult and I am working through-  I often get teased or picked on about it- and I know people don't mean to hurt with there words but they have no idea at this moment in time its a struggle- I will overcome- its not as bad the struggle is getting better- so no worries

why in the world an I sharing well- you see all 3 of these things I have been dealing with for about a month or so and it was just piling up on me- you keep going you keep functioning but then it begins to take its toll on you - you begin to become undernourished, feeble, weak or as it was said this weekend dehydrated. Facing dehydration is not fun- been there physically and do not like it- pretty close emotionally and spiritually recently pretty close- wanted to walk away from it all- being honest here. nothing crazy. just stop the support group - stop being involved in ministry -oh I would pray and read the word but there was something missing- and I found it this weekend His presence. His presence is so powerful, so nourishing, so rejuvenating, so refreshing.

To be in His presence was the message last night and so thankful for it- to be in it to be refreshed by it.

Today's message was about the favor of God and the blessing of God- I so want His favor - not giving up on the dreams planted in my heart - no way-

So excited for what God has for me as an individual - my life- my family- my ministry - my heart

So excited for what God has for our church- God is going to do amazing things in the lives in which we come in contact with- I can not wait to see it all unfold in His timing.

I want to be overcome by his presence

soccer game fan fest and thoughts

so we had soccer on Saturday and it was hot at 945 am with no air moving - the kids were very hot and appeared a little dehydrated thank goodness I had training in track for being prepared- :)
Marcus scored 1 goal and the teams tied 3-3 . it was a good game-
then we went to the Lightning fan fest - it was a nice time but I think Marcus was embarrassed - you tell me by his face in the picture below

 

well my thoughts- just a few things I have become discouraged about and not sure how to address a couple of them- it maybe more frustrations - no maybe discouraged is a better word- yes I will be vague but it is ok cause this is my blog :) just need to work it all out in my heart and mind-

one is something I know God laid on my heart to do and have not gotten any responses from- a few others just some disappointments - I know if I don't expect something I will not be disappointed- working on that as well.- I know its vague but like I said working it out - and just want to say if you are discouraged about something keep pressing on and going - at time you may feel you are not making a difference in anything you work with but keep pressing on- I am telling myself this too

well soccer and then some

Soccer has officially begun for us- we had our first game on Saturday and Marcus played well. Dad was able to come up and see him play-which was an added bonus. He had teammates from last year and they clicked like they played all year together. I think he is a pretty awesome play but I am just mom

So tonight- begins hopefully- the beginning of something new and exciting for parents with behaviorally challenged children- a support group- letting parents know they are not alone and that there are other parents who have been through things and know where to turn- lets see what God has in store

Lock Down - and down and out

well Marcus is still asleep from his lock in experience- he brought 2 friends with him-nice kids-
Marcus did not sleep at all and was hyper on the way home- oye- he just does not get it under control at times

but the boys had fun- was able to talk with one of the boys on the way- lets call him Carl- Carl was at Manatee Palms for 8 months - he was there when Marcus was there and now they both are doing well and things look good. Him and his family live about 5 minutes from us- small world. Carl is adopted as well along with his 3 other sisters. His biological mom has a similar background to Marucs' biological mom. He is a nice kid- and his family seems very nice- had similar issues as Marcus did -so proud of the both of them.

they talked about the games and their favorite Heartbrave ( I know it is Braveheart- but Marcus was so delirious that is what he called it)

1st day of school

well I took the first day of school off- yes I did- not that I am resting or anything- I have other stuff I am trying to catch up on- and focus on- trying to activate a phone for Marcus since his got cracked- we wont go there. working on emails and such and projects for church. paying bills - so no rest for me - just hoping it wont take all day- but I kind of like this off during the day and working at Panera- all the hazelnut coffee I want.
we did an outreach for church for kids at an elementary school and I can't wait for another one- this is what its all about helping the community reaching into their lives and giving them hope.
I am also working on my first meeting - I already hear that there are parents who want to come so time to print up the flyers and encourage others that it will be ok

I often regress in remembering the first days of school with Marcus- all the days were good then the years progressed and wooo- its all good now- I cant not say many things are wrong ( just when he gets tired or anxious- yes this morning we were a little anxious). he worked with us last night in preparing the backpacks and said mom when can we do this again- I want to help other kids. I love his heart. he makes me proud- he loves to serve.

he is excited to share God with others this year at school- I told him do it in your way- shine for Jesus like no other. use actions and only words if you need too. We prayed last night at bed time as I always have and will always will. praying that God will use him as He knows the plan and purpose for Marcus. Marcus is truly is amazing young man, oh it gets tiring at times being mom and dad but so worth it. So glad I pressed through all the garbage we went through. I am blessed to be his mom.

He has a great schedule this year and I know he will do well if he sets his mind to it and focuses.

 7th grade- where has the time gone?

The day that changed my (our) life (lives)

i remember it like it was yesterday but in fact in was 2 years ago today that my mom left this earth as we know it.
she had been in the hospital since the 5th of August with mulitiple issues going on. we had been praying for a miracle - the medical side of me knew it was not good- i was still trusting God- we may not have gotten the miracle we wanted- but a miracle did happen - you see we did not know how long mom was sick - she would never tell us. let me back up
so marcus and i went to the hospital that sunday morning around 9 am (yes I told you I remember the details of that day vividly)- we wanted to visit before church- marcus wanted to sing to grannie - so he did then we met up with one of the doctors and he said he needed to talk with dad so we called and he was on his way. the news was not good and a decision of what needed to be done needed to be made in the next 24 hours the doctor said- marcus finished singing and with a heavy heart him and i went to church. as serivce was ending dad called and said it was not looking good and we needed to get to the hospital- mom had already coded once. we arrived right at 1 pm- we actually all arrived about the same time- lori and dad and the rest of the crew from home - marcus and i from church. nurse said she did not look good-the nurse asked if she coded again if they should resuscitate and i know i said no- i could not see putting her through it again. i went in to see her and so did lori- then dad said he needed a moment to talk with mom. lori and i stepped out and we both said you know what he is telling her right? yep go be with Doreen ( my older sister who died at 2 months of age). dad left the room, i stayed , held moms hand and told her i loved her and it was ok. i know lori was outside the room at that point. I stayed and held her hand until all the alarms went off and her ekg went flat at 1:26 pm- the nurses were awesome they took all the hoses and tubes off- we asked the kids if they wanted to see her and of course they said yes. with heavy hearts we said goodbye and left the hospital. however the miracle did happen she was not suffering in pain any longer- not how i would have done but I am not God
dont take family and friends for granted tell one another you love them and care about them

i love and miss you mom more then words can say

The review of summer

well this summer was jam packed with a ton of things going on- we had the last of the track meets as we ended school and then the following wee we were camping in the Mtns of Wyoming with my Uncle Dave, Aunt Cheryl and cousin Lucas and Ali. what an amazing time we had- we did not want to leave- loved it out there it was beautiful.
we came home and marcus went to soccer camp for a week- then hung out with sarah at their house off an on- he then went to youth camp- I painted his room while he was gone in USF colors - he came home -I did laundry dealed with a flooded house (while friends looked after it while I was gone) and then I left for kids camp- changed my look on dealing with things in a big way- came home and marcus had football camp and then off to papaws for a few days . marcus had some drs appts and then this week is quiet as we prep for school to start on the 19th.
I cant believe he starts 7th grade - whew where has the time gone- it just seemed like yesterday I was at his foster home meeting him for the first time- running out of the bedroom hollering mommy- now its mommmmmmmmy. he is such an amazing young man and I have learned so much from him. how we have grown together and will continue to grow- looking forward to it.
people often say wow you are entering middle school age- tough years- yes however I say this is nothing to handle compare to the first 6 years.
to another new year of school and growth!

the week of July 22nd- life changing

i went to kids camp last week- it was amazing- almost did not make it do to a flood in the house yet i have amazing friends who took care of the house so i could and let me say it was life changing
we need to be praying for our kids of this generation they have so much junk they deal with- from dads being in jail to moms being in rehab and dying of cancer to being abused- from dealing with being angry at life. what have we done to this generation of kids. my flood is minor in comparison to what these kids go through- the ages of these kids 3-6 grade.
i encourage you to pray for this generation for them to be life changers- God's got something big for the group of kids i got to be with this past week - i know it- the girls i was with were amazing but deal with so much- He has a plan for them and they will be used by Him.

wowzers its been a while

well lets see what has been going on - not much- hmm

marcus has been to multiple camps - i painted his room while he was at youth camp- did i say that oh my where has the time gone- it sure does fly-
then next week i am going to kids camp and the following week he goes to football camp- oye- tired just reading that

thins are going well over the summer- he is such a good kid and we have a lot of fun- i have missed him a lot since he has been gone the whole week- can not wait to hug his neck and see how his first year of youth camp was.

and then to show him his room he is gonna flip - i hope-

i will begin a series here soon my blog on overcoming and working through -and it will be through Ms perspective-

tomorrow i may write about a kid that he could have been-
i smile on the inside - why stay tune i will tell you why

my life our story

sometimes i wonder why i put myself through something- trying to educate myself for my family and ended up getting ridiculed and hurt- so i have learned i will not do that again (this is the second time- i will not do it a third time)

i need to live my life for us - sorry it does not work out that way for all- but it works for m and i and we have a very open relationship about his past and how he is doing and when ever he wants to discuss it - i am there for him-

there for him regardless-

anyway off that soap box-

here are some pictures of our trip

now you see why i wanted to stay -

I am back

ok so i know its been a while but things were happening in my neck of the woods- started my support group for behaviorally challenged children - well actually there parents - next meeting July 8th

but the main thing going on was vacation and taking Marcus out west to see my Uncle Dave and Aunt Cheryl- in Wyoming and having some difficulty getting back to the normal life of Wesley Chapel. miss the view and my uncle ( we have a great relationship- always have even though he is 2000 miles away).
call me crazy but as i was going through the trails out there i guess the overwhelming beauty caught up with me- i teared up and was like thank you God for this amazing beauty- words can not express the beauty that was out there- and they see it everyday. can not wait to go back again sooner rather then later and learned a bit while i was out there about how to enjoy each day and to live life to the fullest each of your days. miss my family out there like crazy and looking forward to starting to do things around here and live each day to the fullest-

my plans- seeing dad more , biking trails in Florida- enjoying our surroundings, exercising with M more and maybe just maybe do a 5k or a triathlon with him- eating better- one day at a time and it begins today. making time for extended family and for marcus and I.

tomorrow i will post wyoming pictures

if only they knew- well not really

i surely was blessed this evening when one of the mom's told me- marcus is one of the sweetest young men out here- oh it makes me smile so big- what an amazing compliment-

thank you Lord for bringing us through and the future keeps getting brighter and brighter

i am over the top proud

i am not sure who was more excited for marcus - him or me- why because i have seen so much potential in his running and this weekend he had the best run ever in his track career- i don't know maybe it's the competitive person in me or the fact i so believe in his abilities and believe God gave him the ability.

marcus and i often talk about that God has an amazing plan for his life- and i so enjoy being his mom-so blessed i am. so thankful for that young man- i beam as his mom-

this year in school he has made me proud - honor roll all year- walks to school- does chores when not even asked- so helpful- as i type it brings tears of joy to my eyes-

if you ever feel like giving up on something or someone - DON'T- never give up on a person never give up on yourself- your dreams - you just never know when the breakthrough will come - you will be amazed -

i love when i get compliments of what a well behaved young man he is- i smile on the inside bigger then anyone knows just knowing where we were before- and yes i am patting myself on the back because i think i have done a great job raising him- he loves God- loves his momma- is respectful- does what he is asked to do (most of the time) - honor roll- and the list goes on- can you imagine if i gave up when it was the worst- i would not be able to see the best ( which keeps getting better and better)

yes i love that boy-

my thoughts

so this is my blog so i can write my thoughts and what goes on with my life and my son's life- so here they are today

we begin discussing a topic in which no one wants to talk about but it is a necessary topic- marcus and i had a discussion about if something ever happened to me who would he choose to live with- michele what kind of topic is that to discuss with a child- well its reality and i want him to have a say in it- you see as a single mom i need to be prepared- we are not promised of tomorrow so i plan for today. plus if i do not put it in to place he will be appointed by the state and i will not allow him to go back into foster care - (i know they are not all bad)

so he chose 3 people and i chose 3 people and they were the exact same 3. love how that works- and they all agree that they would take him if necessary - love it and love those people

ok so- we had a track meet yesterday- was not the greatest of runs but had a really good accomplishment- marcus and i were in discussion about his 1st run and he started to get an attitude and such and i just was not going to discuss it with him- i told him go get some powerade and chill in the shade- i walked away-  so he did that all huffin and puffin and came and found me a few minutes later- mom can we talk - yep sure can- sorry mom did not mean to get an attitude with you- its ok just be careful son and we will be fine- he was like i was nervous and ... ok well now your nerves are gone lets be focused and not cop an attitude when we talk- yes maam :)
it was such a hot and long day then he went to run his last event and he was tripped and hit is knee into his chin- i knew something was not quite right when i was watching his race- i met him at the finish line and he basically collapsed in my arms in tears- he was limping and said his knee hurt- it is better today just a bruise

lately my heart just melts and my eyes fill with tears during children's church- we have some amazing kids and it touches me so when they open their heart to God and sing to Him. thank you Lord for speaking to me -and sending the kids you are sending- they are amazing

the end of the year is approaching for school

wow where did this year go as far as school - it seemed like yesterday we were wondering how marcus would do in middle school. well he has done awesome- honor roll all year- so much has changed since last year.
no more child care- no more riding the 'special' bus- no more therapy- wow- God is so good- He sees us through everything.
as I type I smile. not saying we have not had some days but now we deal with adolescence stuff- its ok though- I think-

he is funny so very funny- makes me laugh- he is honest and so tender hearted- heart of compassion. we have an open relationship where he can ask me anything and if I dont know i get someone who does know.

we have had some really deep conversations- from growing up and things boys go through (in which I do enlist additional help when needed :) )- to questions about his birth mom and birth family- honest answers is key

Mother's Day weekend

we had prayer and pancakes last night and this word is ringing in my heart NOW- what is God going to do NOW- i love that- as i prayed last night for God to speak to my heart about how he wants to use me- he simple said i am- you are being obedient and the support group you are starting is all about bringing people Hope - this will bring hope to the hopeless-this is not my support group but God's to ues me to reach others for Him and to show them there is hope for their children and their family - a rebuilding as Pastor Larry spoke of - I want God to use me to help rebuild families where there is challenges with behaviors- God has surely restored our family in a huge way and so want others to see that.

today was so awesome with Marcus running in his meet dropping over a minute off his time for the 3000 and over 40 sec off his time in the 1500 and 7 sec off in his 800- placing with 2 golds and 1 silver- his 800 brought tears to my eyes as he came from behind to win the race- my mom ( his grannie ) would be so proud- thinking of you this weekend mom- marcus said he ran the races for you- Happy Bday and Mother's Day- you are loved and missed so much!

Dear mom-

i can not see you but in pictures and in memories that are in my mind and on my heart- can not feel you or hear your words unless i close my eyes. i often look at your picture and say i wish you were here to see all the good that has happened to all of us. you would be so proud of all the accomplishments - i can see you smiling. i can sense the conversations we would be having.
thank you mom for believing in us- for supporting us in all we did- for cheering us on- for writing letters on behalf of your crazy single daughter who wants to change the life of a child- well in fact you writing that letter forever changed 2 lives that will never be the same- ever. it has not been quite 2 years since you have been gone- sometimes it seems like forever ago sometimes like yesterday we were sitting and talking on the back porch in Venice.u would be so proud at how your grandkids are doing- and oh my word the things i say to marcus sound just like you (lori does the same thing with ainsley and dakota) so you live on in our actions - and sometime attitudes - you live on in the compassion in our hearts - you live on in the traditions we still carry on- thank u for loving us thank you for who you are- Happy Bday mom and Happy mother's day- you are loved and so very much missed
love michele

Happy Mother's Day- everyone enjoy your day and hold close to your mom's and tell her and your children you love them everyday

I can not believe

i have not written in several days-

ok so preparing for track meets the next 3 weekends- plus preparing for vacation- wahoo Wyoming here we come-

busy busy- workng on LIFEgroups for church - working on mom's day stuff for church

so let me just take a moment

been  a little of a roller coaster the last few days- moms bday is approaching and mothers day- all on the same day- miss her a lot -

marcus is doing well - honor roll still- next week we have the last chorus concert- he has a track meet and the same night willbe honored at an honor roll reception
busy busy

When God speaks

well this past month has been a great time- spending a lot of time in prayer and focusing on what God has for our family and our church- much has happened for us as a family -
in the beginning of the month I was offered an additional job- teaching vet tech students- ahh another passion of mine
with in the first couple of weeks - opened doors to have my support group that i have been dreaming of for over 2 years- and have so much support from those who have helped Marcus and I over the last many years with his behavior challenges. I am excited to see how God is going to use us in this roll- I know there are alot families out there that just need to know there is hope- I can definitely say our family is full of hope and determination- we don't give up

what else.. my heart is so tender right now for the kids that attend Celebration- My eyes fill with tears when new kids come and I am able to sit with them and help them learn the amazing songs we sing during praise and worship-so thankful for an opportunity to reach into kids lives and see how they change through Christ

I am blessed as I watch my son have a servant's heart- recently in school he was asked to be a leader in his math class to help a new student- he asks each day for the devotion and prays for each of the items that we are praying for as a church family. his heart wants others to know about Jesus and wants to reach the nations

God truly is a good God and I am truly overwhelmed by all He has blessed us with

its the quiet of the morning

today I am off but I am taking a few minutes before the day to begin to sit and listen- its nice to be quiet - we get so caught up in our days and forget to listen- I do have to say I have been listening more over these last 25 days- God continues to speak to my heart in an overwhelming way- all good-
Bernie spoke of 1 making a difference last night at church- so this morning I keep thinking of what he spoke about-

why am I doing this- well because one person can make the difference in a life and can forever change it- starting a new adventure in June- hosting a support group for parents with behavioral challenged children. If only one shows up I will be overjoyed. Why because then they will know they are not alone in their journey.

I thought about myself and how as one I have made a difference- I think I have in one person in particular - Marcus- he has said many times to me - its because of you mommy not giving up on me that is why I am where I am at today- those words so penetrate my heart- now we are going to use what we went through to help another one.

you can make a difference in one person's life whether it be- a simple smile- paying for their lunch- a simple I am here for you- what ever God lays on your heart can make a difference to them and you.

You know people say you have changed his life forever - yes this may be true- however Marcus has changed my life forever- I sit and shake my head at times just thinking what an amazing young man he is and the impact he is going to have in this world- Truly one does make a difference

Will you be the one?

where is the time going

i often reflect as i drive home - often pray when i am in the car- today i did both as we left church-
why? we are doing a fast at church and devotionals we read from our pastor daily- marcus asks for them everyday- i am so proud of him-
we talked about burdens tonight and how we do not know what others carry- so true- i thought back a few years and thought i carried a lot with marcus' behaviors no one but God, myself, and marcus truly know how hard it was how tiring or should i say exhausting it was- so glad God took that burden -

we talked about listening to what God has for us and taken that time just to listen and not be busy all the time- listening is good- i have been listening during this fast- a lot-

as i was driving home i did get somewhat reflective not sure why- and am realizing my son is growing up- oye i wish he was 4 again to make it all right earlier in our familiness instead of taking 6 years for him to be ok- i know i know it allworked out why go back - not regreting what happened just would have done it sooner- so he could have enjoyed his younger years earlier. its ok though- if i was being honest right now in this moment i wish he was a little guy again just for a brief time- he has matured so much and has accomplished so much - makes me so proud-

so he has made me proud once again

Weekend Post

Its Sunday night and I am tired- went to church this morning and had a good children's church service- Yesterday was a busy day- we had a track meet in Clermont- all day- left at 545 am got home about 9 pm (made a stop on the way home to wish Savanna a happy bday) we got back into town about 8 though.

Marcus ran the first event of the day and the last 2 of 3 of the day- he pushed himself the entire day and his times are coming down. I think he - or should I say I hope he is getting the concept of hard work pays off and that if he pushes himself at practice it will pay off at the meets

We are surely blessed to have awesome coaches- I do not think any of them have kids involved and yet they volunteer there time and work hard with the kids- of which I am forever grateful-

Here is what was Marcus' angry face way back when- Now used for a better purpose of determination

prayer and praise

tonight we had a time of prayer and praise at church- it was an amazing time in His presence-
praying for our city- the people of our city from children - youth - young adults - single parents- and the list goes on

thank you Lord for your amazing love and grace- reach down and touch this area in a mighty way

communication and conflict

you know it is so important to communicate and not let things build up inside- i know i am preaching to myself- but i have gotten a lot better- being a manager work and a leader at church - things could be solved so much quicker if we communicated better-
no one likes conflict and half the time if communication is involved then there would be no conflict- anywho that is my rant

finally it has arrived

Parents You are Not Alone will have a support group in the Tampa Bay area. I got approval to hold meetings in the Hillsborough County Libraries. I know Pasco families but it will be close to you-
My plan is to meet in 2 different libraries once a month- my goal - Lutz Library and New Tampa Library- I will know for sure hopefully tomorrow if the rooms are available for the dates I would like to start- so begin getting the word out- there is support for you and you are not alone with your behavior challenged child- check out my other blog regarding more information
www.parentsyouarenotalone.com and also LIKE my facebook page Parents You are Not Alone

Happy Bday- the last year of tweeness for me

well- i could say i was in labor for 20 hours with my first child and it was an easy delivery with him coming into the world at 1 in the afternoon at Tampa General. however that is not the case- i had no idea of his existence until 4 years later when he came into my world-

unfortunately his biological mom could not take care of him- his extended biological family could not take care of him- there is no knowledge of who his biological father is ( marcus knows all this)
his biological mom tried she did not prevail- which meant for the first 4 years of his life he was in foster care- changed forever in that environment. however, just like Sunday came for Jesus to be a live there came a day where Marcus' life was forever transformed- forever changed forever became a part of a family- that loved him and worked so very hard to mold him into the young man we have in our midst today- So thankful that God allowed me the opportunity to pour into his life- he is forever changed and i am forever changed

Happy Birthday Marcus- you are such a blessing to me!!!