Remember its me and the son at home no other adults- no one to vent to no one to come home to and say its your turn. I am being transparent- and I love my friends - don't get me wrong- I love them dearly but sit in my shoes for a day-mind you there are other things around me going on right now, you will see my list and for those of you with more then one child you all are awesome.
I think a lot of what's going on right now has a lot to do with my HOUSE being TURNED upside down- due to a FLOOD back in July-
you see I have half of my kitchen and living room in my bedroom and Marcus' bedroom (his is pretty good -with most of it in my room)- concrete floor, open walls, exposed plumbing, the cat getting stuck by the washer- all my stuff packed up in boxes from the kitchen- cooking from the microwave ( yes I miss the stove cooking and oven- I know how to cook some things) - the dog needing to eat in my room- the cat eats in my bathroom- I know way more information then you all need to know but this is where I am right now- today this very moment. I want my house back in order- I know its a process and so thankful for friends telling me that - I may have gone off the deep end earlier if I did not know that. my dog loves the concrete me- its ok but would like flooring back in the house- what am I waiting on insurance- they did not get it correct the first time- its ok - but really want it all back together. Now I am in the process of picking out things for the house to get it back in order- this should be easy right- no not really- I mean I am excited about getting new things- but then my house will be more turmoil when the rest of the cabinets get ripped out- I know - get over it Michele- well is your house turned upside down- no- I am thankful I can still live in the house- I am thankful I was gone for a week when it happened. but enough is enough. I am ready for my house to be put back together again.
then of course dealing with paying the bills, making sure Marcus is doing what he needs to do- he is in a phase I do not like right now- hopefully I eliminated that my blocking his computer (we had a great talk this evening) - I know this phase will pass- I know it will but some days I would just like to not handle it and pawn it off on someone else- I love the boy to bits I really really do- as a single parent I don't have the luxury of discussing things with my spouse and having them handle it every once in a while. I am the one having to help him with his HW- (when did 7th grade HW get so hard by the way?) he is good about doing it and all but whew sometimes I have no idea. I am the one disciplining, coming up with consequences, discussing anything else that may come up- again most of the time I am good- and trust me what I am dealing with now is nothing compared to what it was before - I can handle aggression :) its the stupid silly stuff whew. He is a good kid - I am blessed but there are days where whew another person to help would be great
then of course grocery shopping - last minute school stuff to get (I get it goes with the territory) it falls on me - I can't say let your father take you while I finish cooking dinner- its more like ugh when dinner is over we will have to go get it.
then there is work and ministries I am involved with - I enjoy both very much but there are times all of it takes its toll on you- from work, to the house (which I think this is the greatest source right now), to ministry, to dealing with Marcus and middle school junk. calgon take me away away away
I know it will get better and I know this too shall pass- but there are sometime where it all gets so overwhelming- and I just have to sit and pray (sometimes that does not help either) I know we will overcome- we have many times- this is just a brief brief glimpse at my life-
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