Change in Schedule not Good for ME not Good for HIM

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Okay Breathe in Breathe out
I really am pulling my hair out right now-really I am- you see I anticipated issues today with Marcus but his attitude and disobedience is down right stressful- ugh- he does not do well with changes in his schedule - I knew it I anticipated it- but come on really how hard is to apologize to a child ( he stepped on someones glasses because he was pushed) how hard is it to listen when I ask him to walk - instead I get nails in my arm- how hard is to follow directions if you really want to do something- oh I know for Marcus today this afternoon he was over load may day may day- sinking ship sinking ship- I tried to cope breathing well- but kicking seats telling me what he was going to do andnot going to do and he was going NOW to the harvest festival- Right- you see we are not there- we did not make it to BQ practice- sentence writing and Memory verse writing- (thanks PD and PL- I use this a lot) . He knows the ones on obedience cause he has to write them-
so I ask him to get in the shower 6 times aggravation level is up right now cause he was NOT LISTENING - but it is good I am venting my frustrations- Anyone have chocolate - sugar free?
okay I think I am good I will blog really what I was going to write tonight a little later if I stay awake - last night I was in bed by 8:30 and asleep not long after.

The wind was blowing

Where did the weekend go- let me catch you up to speed- I think I wrote about Friday

Saturday had a game did well then went to see Lori, Stacy and the kids- just hung out for a few hours nothing special- Marcus was missing his aunt and uncle so I surprised him with a visit-

Sunday was good- Pastor T and Miss Misty said Marcus was the best behaved boy in children's church - made me so proud-

I taught Jr Jam- 3, 4, and 5 year olds during service- they are so fun- we talked about Moses and the burning bush and how he needed to STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN to GOD and follow what he said.

I was all High tech with a power point and all and let me just say- the kids knew the story backwards and forwards by the end of service - When I teach we have play time- praise and worship time teaching time and usually craft time- it is fun and the best thing of all was that - 5 children 5 lives accepted Jesus in their heart. YEAH FOR JESUS!! I love it

So bring us to Monday- work was great we had surgery except my pig had some issues during surgery was not sure if she was going to make it through the surgery or not- she did yeah-

Marcus had a good day at school- I am so thankful for Lake Myrtle- I am truly blessed, I am truly thankful for his teacher and his behavioral specialist.

So today is Tuesday- came home from work had Marcus work on his HW and I worked on the bike- it was windy and rainy but I was determined to get the bike done so we could go for a bike ride- I have lost 7 lbs since I have started to watch what I eat - oh from time to time I splurge- now it is time to get consistent on the excercise -- I have been doing stomach crunches while watching tv for the last 3 weeks - I was so excited when I went to the store and the usual size I get was too big-yeah! So with biking 3-4 times a week the lbs should come off a little easier.

So we were able to bike 2 miles in the wind and rain and Marcus did great - he kept up so well- this is how he kept up -

Believe or not I feel to good right now- I was so tired at work in the afternoon but now I feel good-

TA DAAAAAAAAA

Okay Fridays I am beginning to not like- why you ask- because byt Friday Marcus is a big bear GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

He wanted to do things his way but in the end he did not get to because he was not following my directions. Anyway he went to bed-

and guess what with in 5 minutes Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

SO he is asleep- I am blogging then I am going to go clean- dishes laundry vaccuum- oh yes I run the vaccuum when he is asleep- how else will I get things done- he sleeps through just about everything

okay are you ready - are you chopping at the bit- can you not wait any longer - here I am -

do I look smart now??

It is a good day

Today was a pretty good day-Nothing abnormal happened- I got a phone call from Marcus' teacher nothing major just wanted to touch base with me.
He was a little difficult after school so we ended up not going to BQ today for practice- I could see he was tired he has a look about him-It has taken me 2 years but I know his tired look- and his tired cry. I oftened wonder how parents know of newborns to determine what is wrong- I had to learn it too and still are.
His latest thing is too lie about things- not sure why- is it a stage- he says he lies because he does not want consequences- of course I remind him now the consequence is more because he lied about what he did or did not do.
Will he learn? Yes-
Not sure how many of you have read about the person who adopted the child and now is relinguisah him back- Marcus has problems even threw stuff at me when he first moved in, has hit me but I would never relinguish him back- I know I do not know the whole story - I am sure there is so much more to the story-I know the child tried to hurt her badly. So I am not going to judge her I will just say how I feel- DO I agree with what DCF does -no- do I agree with how Marcus was treated or the fact I was lied to about it- no - I do believe as a parent and chose to be a parent it is my responsibility to get the help my child needs regardless if he was in the states custody. I signed the papers I choose to find him help when he needs it- put him on meds if he needs it- Can you tell I am a little passionate about this?There are wonderful people and professionals out there that can help you- but you as a parent need to search them out- I did- I am glad - we would probably still be back where we started if we did not go to see them- consistency- constant reiforcement- help from others- lots of love and understanding-
Okay I know I may not be making sense but I am just getting my thoughts out that may be rnay be random

Taking the plunge

Okay I did it - I finally made up my mind to do it- I am beginning to bike Monday, Tuesday and Friday Evenings with Marcus in tow ( he is working on it) Why- well- I need to excercise and I need to stop saying how tired I am - yes today I was tired we were in surgeries today and it was tiring - but I made the commitment to myself - I will bike atleast 3 days a week- sit ups ever night- take my vitamins- not let little things get me down- focus on what God has planned and part of it was the commitment to better myself-

So in months to come hopefully you will see a slimmer me- watching what I eat and excercising- I need to be able to keep up with Marcus and I will not be able to do that at the rate I am going. Anyway - it felt good- oh it was hot and I was sweaty when we came in but it was a good feeling- so Marcus will be in top shape between biking and soccer

Marcus does listen to people and I just want to say to Dustin- you can relay this to him PD- he remembered what you said about how if people are mean to you to say Jesus loves you- he did not do it but he remembers it and he said he would work on it-

Marcus had a pretty good day- he did not do his time out at school when his teacher requested it (he had to do it with the behavioral specialist out of his classroom) - so I pulled out the JBQ book and asked him this question. How should we regard our school teachers, policemen, and other government officials.

The answer- We should obey them for their authority comes from God-( did he get it right Leslie? ) I had him write it and then we talked more about it.

Stop using the Crutch

Do not worry if you do not understand the reason I titled it that - it is okay and God is so in control. We had a very good service this morning- I say that because personally I had a very good service and really realized when the devil showed up in my son as soon as we were home- I love him to pieces that boy of mine.

For those of you who read my blog just pray for me over the next month about what God spoke to me about- it is a step process and I just want to be obedient- stop using the crutch Michele.

He is taking me way out of my comfort zone- It will be good cause it will be a God thing- I will share more but can not right now. Just pray that is all.

Soccer, Sleep, Cleaning, Shopping

I tried all S's but I am not that talented to think of it.

We had an 8 am soccer game- wow that is early on a Saturday but it was good- they played hard- and had a tie game even though we do not keep score- I like the league but have it has a few quirks about it- I will discuss that at later date.

Game home about 9;30-10 and Marcus went to sleep for 3 hours - he needed it- he was looking a little tired at the end of the game.

So we came home he went to sleep I worked on laundry-cleaning the house- and took a little nap myself- it was nice- then we got up and went to the new target- I think it is much bigger then the one by the house- seems more organized but then again it just opened. then we went grocery shopping- my least favorite things to do- I just do not like it-

We had fun though - I had Marcus standing on the bar right below you push and I was racing through the store- people thought I was crazy but Marcus was laughing hysterically and that is all that matter- he was a big help- he helped put the groceries in the cart and in the car and then helped unload them when we were home-

He looked a little off and I asked him what was up- mommy I am tired I said I thought so- you go play with your computer and I will get dinner ready- simple dinner so he can get rest- he finished dinner and got a shower and within 5 minutes of being in bed in was a sleep- fresh air excercise and grocery shopping will wear a boy out.

So it has been quiet - I am just finishing things up so I can study my lesson for Sunday School tomorrow-

The Time has come to say goodbye to ....

my perfect eye sight- it is official I have a slight farsightedness and will need some glasses- all the time I read for work and in general and work on the computer researching stuff my eyes have come to fatigue -I am okay I am coping with it just fine-I do have to say the Dr I saw was very nice looking and very nice- He lived in Sarasota not far from where I grew up- I may have to come up with something to go see him again :)

We have an early soccer game in the morning- but we have been off the last 2 days running errands and such and just chilling- in fact Sarah watched Marcus today for me so I could focus on what the Dr was saying . He behaved well for her - so them and got something for lunch.- then came home and rested and I cleaned Brenda and Adam's kitchen for them- they have been working hard and long hours and are tired so I thought I would surprise them-

They need us here

Okay I am going to vent a little here cause I can-
I again heard on the radio about adopting oversees- this is one of my pet peeves in the whole wide world-
Do not get me wrong I want kids oversees to have homes but do you realize how many children need loving home here in the US- back in 2005 when I adopted Marcus - in Hillsborough County alone there were 200 kids' names read and that was a list of the older ones.
What is wrong - I know everyone wants a baby or the perfect child without problems or was not in a system that can not take care of the children ( this is another blog in itself)
So the children in our country need loving homes- they are not perfect infact many have problems because birth parents were unable to care for them - but does that make it okay for us to put them by the wayside and go thousands of miles away for children that are younger - that may not have as many problems- no- it does not-
If you have adopted oversees good for you however- what happens to the children in our foster homes that are not getting the love and care they need- That some of you could provide-

Adopt yes but ADOPT IN OUR NATION- the CHILDREN HERE NEED US TOO

We appreciate our Pastors

It is National Pastor Appreciation month- To all of those reading you are appreciated-
I do have to blog again about our wonderful Northside Senior Pastors- I know PD reads this but I have a confession to make- I had all the intentions of emailing daily the You two are... and adding something each day- and I really am not sure where the days went that I did not send it- But I did send a list of what my pastors are and here it is:

Amazing
Beautiful
Caring
Devoted
Encouraging
Fabulous
GRRRRRRRRREAT
Humble
Incredible
Joyful
Kind
Loving
Marvelous
Nifty
Outstanding
Polite
Quiet (when you are waiting on God)
REAL
Sensible
Terrific
Unbelievable
Valuable
Wonderful
Xcellent
Young
Zealous

Tell your pastors you appreciate them and love them-

It has been a long weekend- and it spilled into Monday

Not sure what is up with him but off and on more on (Saturday and this evening) Marcus has had a bout of very frustraing for me times- it is like he has forgotten everything I have taught him and tonight I am weary about the whole thing- I even had a throbbing headache- which I do not get very often. Thank goodness for Excedrin migraine-
School was good for him today- it just seems with me he is having a hard time following directions- morning are fine afternoons are horrible- it just hit me- afternoons are horrible - so very tired he is- we get up at 5 am - hmmm let me think

how to improve this without either one of us getting upset- maybe discuss things when we get home he can rest in the car- no talking just resting- I will try and see-
I love blogging I get my thoughts out and help myself- oh and if any of you have any ideas let me know - remember I am still a new mom even though he is 6-

side note- I believe our 2 year as a family falls on our church family thanksgiving this year - how truly thankful I am even though we have been through so many trials these past 2 years I am thankful for them.

I Love Lake Myrtle Elementary School

There is a red light on my phone at work when I return from a meeting with a new Dr . I listen to the message - it goes a little like this

Hello this is the asst. prinicpal from LMES we have Marcus here in the office because he chose to hit a classmate and teacher- my heart sunk- oh no we were doing so well- 4 weeks in the new school and we were doing so well- then it said please call me as soon as you can so we can talk - ugh - great I am going to pick the boy up and then I am going to kill him - no not really - that would not solve anything-

So anyway- I called back and spoke with the Asst. Principal- love her- she said well Marcus told us what happened we talked - the behavioral specialist talked with him and worked it out- he was able to tell us and we discussed he would have to go into a smaller classroom if this beahvior continued- She said he knew he was in trouble cause I had to be called and he did not want that to happen- so she said he was back in the classroom the behavioral specialist stayed there for a bit- he was fine the rest of the day
It is amazing to me how a school that is equipped with certain personal and how they deal with difficulties deal with this compared to a school that does not have the resources- ( I still love Sandpine they are great too)
When she talke she was laughing and saying he worked it through- I told he we would have a discussion about it-
We did he apologized to the teacher and the child- he also apologized to me for not making a good choice-
So the behavioral specialist told him if he feels angry to put his hands in his pocket

so that was it- done over with moving on-

UGH- His disobedience is driving me nuts at home- He needs a tough love weekend with Uncle Adam

Marcus is doing great at school but today and yesterday ugh ugh ugh at home- down right disobedient- over simple things like put your laundry in the hamper- get your chores done- so today I gave him a consequence of not practicing soccer for the first 10-15 minutes he had to watch- oh and he did not like it at all- but what does he do when he gets home - defiant UGH UGH

Calgon take me away- I know he is moving in to typical child behavior which is good but he better get over this phase real quick

I spoke with his teacher today

I called Marcus' teacher today cause I did not get his behavior chart home today and was curious as to why- She simply forgot to give all the children theirs today- I asked how he was doing and this is what she said- paraphrasing here:

He is doing well- his specials teacher think he is so polite ( I must be doing something right )- and he is doing very well in the classroom with his behavior- we are having some minor issues at PE and recess- she said typical kid stuff so it is not just him- She is happy that he is talking more with her and using his words when something does happen-

These words were very good to hear-

So he is doing well in his new school of 4 weeks

Rest is what I needed

This morning I woke up and wanted to go back to bed- I was congested and it felt like a truck was sitting on my chest- so I took Marcus to school - called work-came home took something for the congestion- covered up - in my cozy bed and fell asleep for 5 hours- with the dog and 2 of the cats. they always seem to know when I do not feel well-
I woke up and proceeded to go downstairs and lay on the couch where I did not get up til I had to go get Marcus- the kid is trying my patience- I feel better then I did this morning but not quite 100% and he threw another fit at Kids R Kids- I just wanted to come back home and chill but could not do that - had to wait for the fit to be over and then come home and help with homework-

Dinner is now done- HW is done- Shower for him is done- he is in bed- time for me to go chill out again-

A Disadvanatage of being a single mom

When you are sick you still have to - get the clothes ready, do laundry, get the meals taken care of, feed the animals, walk the animals, make sure your son or daughter does his/her homework-
Get everyone ready for work and school. Take him/her to school- you go to work - leave work early to sleep cause you feel like garbage-then pick them up from school

then you pick them up and he wants to play basketball when you just want to go home an collapse - he begins to throw a fit and you are feeling all the more like ugh- think of me kid for once- I do not feel good and you are doing this to me. not a good thing-

This was today-

and when the child does not listen you get all the more frustrated cause you want to sleep and rest and chill - but you can't cause you need to make sure he is doing what he is suppose to do- then you are sick longer.
Who takes care of the single mom when she is not feeling up to speed - herself yeah right- things do not function without mom getting things done-
so can you tell I am not feeling well- oh somedays I wish I had a spouse to help fill in those gaps-

1st Soccer Game is a success

THEY PRAY BEFORE THEY PLAY

I LOVE IT

Well we had our first game today- I have included pictures - Marcus did well - except several times he got all into kicking the ball he was headed in the wrong direction- I love the fact they do not keep score and the coaches are on the field helping them. If he acts the way he did after the game like he did today soccer may be short lived- disrespecting mom and throwing a mini melt down cause he did not want to do what he was asked is not acceptable- enjoy

Its Saturday and I am up way to early- what to do when we have 8 am matches

It is early- we have a game- I feel yucky- I think I got what Marcus had - ugh- I do not like feeling ill

But I must perservere and go on- I am tired- did not sleep well-

I will blog about how the game went and post some pictures for you all-

I did forget to mention- Marcus earned all his stickers on his behavior calendar that comes home this week- once incident in PE not following directions but other then that a good week- So proud - one day at a time

Felix the cat

This is Felix my cat- I acquired him about 5 years ago or so- He is a different cat- You see him here playing with Scooby Doo on the computer- Felix was essentially abandoned at the animal hospital with his brother- and I took him in- when I first got him he was so agressive- biting my hands and attacking my arms (hmmmm I see a pattern) anyway he hid behind the couch for the first week- and then finally moved upstairs where he lives- either under my bed or sleeping on it- he likes the bathtub and sleeps in there occassionly. He does not bite anymore only when I rough house with him- but he is avery affectionate kitty- and now is getting brave and goes half way down the stairs- we have come a long way Felix and I - when I first got him and he was all bity and no personality I wanted to send him back to the hospital- but did not cause I knew eventually he would come around and he has so beautifully just had to give him a chance and guide him.
All my animals remind me of Marcus - no he is not an animal but they all were abdandoned and needed a loving home- God truly has given me a gift to love the not so loveable-( Marcus is lovable - do not go there-you all know what I mean- those others have tossed aside and possibley given up on) Thanks God for reminding me of this.

We began soccer practice last night - he did very well and he did not hurt anyone- I know what your thinking Oh Michele why do you say things like that- well- because there were these boys pushing and shoving and I could see Marcus getting agitated - I signed to him- (Thanks Lori I love sign language)- to ask them to please stop- and that is all it took- I can sign to him stop, sit focus(my interpretation but he gets it) ,listen, obey etc It comes in handy from a distance. works well in Children's church too. Anyway- he kicked a lot of goals but he has no concept of passing- we shall see how well he works as a team- I enjoyed watching him laugh and have fun-

First game is tomorrow 10 am - maybe see some of you there >


** Side note for PD- thanks for inspiring me to write a blog- I enjoy it so and I hope those of you reading it get some insight to our lives.

3 am is much to early to be awake

It was 3 am and I heard a hack hack hack and cough cough cough- Marcus was hacking up a lung. Well not quite but it seemed like it- I got up and stumbled down the stairs to get him some meds- I think he finally stopped hacking around 6 - not conitnously but off and on- and then silence- he was a sleep again in his bed. So he stayed home from school and rested- I stayed home from work and fell back asleep only for about 30 minutes or so. The problem with Marcus is he does not tell you he is not feeling well. I have to guess. Is that the norm or are we abnormal- okay some of you can be quiet about that (Adam stop laughing) . So he rested all day - ate lunch- had not coughed since about 10 this morning and now again at almost 6 pm we are starting again- he says he feels pretty good- have the humidifier on in his room- he is taking a bath right now-

I think an early bed time for me is calling.

I am mean and He does not Love me

Oh those words go straight to my heart- and it hurts- who said them Marcus-

We were at the library working on homework and he chose not to follow directions so I said let's go home- well there was McDOnalds night for the school-and I told him he needed to listen to me in the AM and when he was picked up. Well we he found out he lost that privilage - you would think I was beating the child when all I was doing was holding his arm and dragging (he was not walking) out of the library- had to hold him down to seatbelt him in - I got in he is screaming and yelling and I am getting angry- I put on my praise and worship CD loud and prayed - he did not like it and usually he does- he was posessed i am sure of it- Anyway it was my fault that we did not go- my fault he could not see his friends - my fault he did not listen my fault - I am mean mean- mean- oh I can show you mean son-

I do not love you- you are mean I don't love you- he says

Marcus you were created to love and be kind when you can do that we will talk-

Not a good thing on the way home- we had our words and he went to his room and then he got a spanking- yes he does get them from time to time- especially when he is down right disrespectful and hateful no need when he made the bad choices

So I am chilling and he is working on homework since he chose not to do it at the library