Hey Hey its Saturday

the title sounds exciting, right? well I woke up too early ( 4 am) I could go out and walk/run- but Marcus is asleep or I could go bike ride but Marcus is asleep or swim and yet again Marcus is still asleep- at what age can you leave a child without getting in trouble? ok see I am in a funk this morning - maybe cause I did not sleep well or maybe cause my Marcus is going away for a week- I have found myself being reflective since yesterday evening and it keeps waking me up-

so now I am up at 522 am on a Saturday so - I am going to share with you what I was thinking about - hope that is ok

the 21st of July marks a significant change in my life (5 years ago)- that is the day Marcus left foster care forever- adoption was not finalized until November though.

I can vividly remember some of the conversations I had with the foster mom- oh no he has no behavior problems - hmmm, ok now that was not the truth- jumping off his bed as he throws a step stool at me- I should have been clued in there -huh. oh the early months were not all bad.

He learned colors- shapes - letters and I found out he was very smart- he learned to eat with manners (still working on haha) he learned manners yes maam no maam yes sir no sir

He had - and haves a home - a mom that cares about him and loves him no matter what ( he finally got that concept a couple of months ago)

Up until recently we went through 3 childcares a year- oh the joy and stresses of having a child with EBD- and child care facilites do not get it-

we and I mean we have come so far- I have learned not to react to his insaneness but to ignore it - and yes I know there is a line drawn there- I have grown as a person and a parent-

He has come soooo far- I look back and even over the summer he has grown-not just in height but in maturity ( we will have some more to go with this) we all do.

Marcus has a tender heart and he makes me laugh at times- his laugh is contagious - he must have gotten that from me - hehe

I smile and cry at the same time as I think of where we have come from and where we are going- each year it gets better and better. I am so proud of him and proud of myself- we both have learned and will continue to learn .

It is a day to day process and some days are so long with the process and other days are smooth sailing- it gets tiring but so rewarding

When I prayed for a child - I prayed for a boy 3-5 years old and challenging ( i needed to be a little more specific here) and God sure gives us the deisre of our heart - and even though the last 5 years has not all be pretty - I am so thankful I went through it - so glad God gave me the son he did- Love you Bubba man