Running Tigers Practice

I took some pictures at Marcus' practice today- He loves it but he says it is hard- it reminds me so much of when I use to swim however now I am the parent sitting on the sidelines just wanting to holler run don't stop - well my parents would have said swim don't stop

Practice is one of my highlights of the week - I love to watch him run and learn the skill and techniques- he also is so tired when it is over

We have 4 meets we will be attending- so this will be interesting-Enjoy the pictures

My devotion for today- just wanted to share

This was my Devotion today from Girlfirends for God
How to enjoy your family-

Today’s Truth Proverbs 31:26 “When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says.”

Friend To Friend Family is important to God. He created it before He created the church and, as with each of His creations, He made a plan for it to succeed. At the heart of that plan is love! To be part of a family is to be loved. Over the last two days, we have examined the first steps to loving your family; to build trust, to serve them with joy, to plan well and to work hard. We can also love and enjoy our family by guarding our tongue.
The power of the spoken word is great. Words are like seeds. What we plant will grow. If we plant negative, critical words, we will reap a family that is negative and critical. Look for the good in your family then speak it. Be their cheerleader. Everyone needs a cheerleader!
A little girl was eating breakfast with her Daddy. They were “on a date”, spending some special time together. He was telling her how wonderful she was and how proud he was of her. What he thought was a sufficient job he picked up his fork and began to eat. His daughter put her hand on his arm and stopped him with these words, “Longer, Daddy, longer.” He didn’t eat much food that day but a little girl’s hungry heart got fed. Do you have any hearts like that in your family?
CBS released a movie about Karen Carpenter, the great singer who rose to stardom singing with her brother, Richard. At the age of 32, she died unexpectedly of heart failure due to many years of abuse caused by Anorexia. But what brought on Karen's fatal obsession with weight control? It seems that a reporter once called her "Richard's chubby little sister."
Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD: keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Ask yourself these questions before speaking.
T is it true?
H Is it helpful?
I is it inspiring?
N is it necessary?
K is it kind?
Think before you speak! Use the five to one ratio when correcting anyone - five positive remarks to one negative. The harder the truth, the greater the love we should use to say it. It is our responsibility to use our words to train and instruct our family about the daily things in life, but more importantly, to instruct them about eternal things. We are very concerned about providing for our children when we need to be more concerned about caring for our children. The greatest care we can give is to disciple them by speaking words of truth. Guard your tongue!
The sixth way to enjoy our family is to take care of ourselves. The Proverbs 31 woman certainly did. “She is energetic. Her own clothing is beautifully made--a purple gown of pure linen. She is a woman of strength and dignity and has no fear of old age.” (Proverbs 31:17; 22; 25 LB)
Families are hard work. In order to make our family relationships replenishing we must be replenished. Psalm 46:10 instructs us to “Be still and know that I am God.” Let’s apply this verse specifically.
Be still, MY MUSCLES, and know God’s RELAXATION.
Be still, MY NERVES, and know God’s REST.
Be still, MY HEART, and know God’s QUIETNESS.
Be still, MY BODY, and know God’s RENEWAL.
Be still, MY MIND, and know God’s PEACE.

In order to be all that we can be to our families, we must be all that we can be mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. We must be balanced.
The Proverbs 31 woman was energetic and hard working for the tasks she was gifted and called to do. Proverbs 31:25 tells us this woman could laugh “at the days to come.” The picture here is of a woman who enjoyed her life. She worked hard, but she knew how to stop and plant a vineyard. She liked to shop and watched for bargains. She liked to look beautiful, dressing in purple fine linen.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”
We cannot give our heart to God and keep our body for ourselves. When you take care of yourself, you are honoring God and loving your family.
The final way to enjoy and love your family is to remember your audience.
Proverbs 31:28-31 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
It’s so easy to have the wrong audience and the truth is that our audience determines how we run the race. Our audience should be God, our mate, our children and then others. One day we will stand before God as keeper of the family He has loaned to us
for a short time. Will He be pleased? Will He say “Well done”? Will our family stand and bless us? Will others say this woman loved and enjoyed her family?

Persevere

My word for the year seems to be fitting so well- so very well- it appears I need to hang on to this word so closely- Persevering- to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.

I am persevering even though I am tired-I am pressing on even though it is difficult- God is sustaining me and helping me through

So I got myself something- just for me- and here it is:

I know it has been a few days

Well it has bee a very interesting weekend- Friday we had counseling and it went well- Marcus learned all about furious fred and how to handle anger- of course it is things we do now but maybe with it through a game he will learn and understand better-
Oh I forgot-- Thursday he started track practice- he said it was hard but he did it and finished it through- this will keep him busy and hopefully channel his energy.
Saturday we went to Fine Arts in Orlando- we saw some friends from Venice which was very nice to see them even if for a moment- Our kids did very well and some have made it to Nationals-

Sunday - Got some news from family - just keep them in your prayers (my sister and her family) I am not going in to detail here- but they need lifted up and just need wisdom- guidance- and God's mercy and love.
Service was good and then the evening ended with and awesome leaders meeting where I feel we got a lot accomplished-

Off today for Marcus Drs appt its mid morning and by the time he got to school he would leave and by the time I get to work I would leave so I took off the day.

Going to work on some projects and such - so hopefully I will not get lazy -I need to focus and get it done

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad- I just want to say Happy Anniversary- How many years has it been hmm- I keep losing count-44 years - Thank you for loving me - supporting me and caring so much for me- You have always supported my dreams my goals and my life's ambitions. I appreciate all the love and concern over the last few years I have become a mom- it has been hard but knowing we have such a supportive family and friends make it all that much easier. Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader .

Have a wonderful day together and know that I love you with all my heart

HOTDOCs

Well for the next 6 weeks on Tuesday I will be in classes at USF learning about the brain development of kids and how things function-learing different techniques on how to handle challenging children- it is geared for kids age 0-5 but the pshychologist said it may be beneficial-

Much of the stuff I already do with Marcus that they spoke of last night but I did learn a tid bit of information that may be beneficial to all- Our brains continue to develop until we are 25 so for those of you who have teenagers hang on for a little while longer.

We shall see how it goes- I do have HW- not alot -and not too time consuming-

The best part of the night is they raffle of a Publix gift card and I won the first one - yee haw :)

Wrap up of the weekend

Well Saturday I had life coaching meanwhile Marcus was doing a walk a thon to raise money for camp- we are almost there but not quite for raising the money but we will make it- God will supply-Anyway- I waited after life coaching to find out Marcus did 9 and half miles- and most of it was while he was running- Hmmm- anyone know of a good track team for elementary age kids?

I have been kinda tired lately- I feel ok just worn out - sleep is a needed necessity but I do not always get the rest I should so today after church I slept for 3 hours it was nice- I need to get rest but my mind seems to race at night and not slow down. Am I alone here?

Let me back track- today was National Youth Day and the Youth did a large Human video- it was phenomenal- we have the most talented youth- Then our youth pastor preached very good message. If you have youth and are in the Tampa Bay area bring them to Wednesday Night and here the best youth pastor in the area- they have an awesome youth band as well.

So proud of all the youth-

I am sorry we need to end this session...

Wow- that has never happened- we had counseling yesterday and Mr George asked how things were going to Marcus- well he turned around and would not listen or talk to him- so Mr George said mom how is it going- I said about the same - nothing volatile at home ( he did lose his childcare this week because of issues) However, Mr George he does not do what he needs to do when he becomes angry with the word Blue- he says I do not want to- I do not have to - I hate you- I do not care-. Meanwhile Marcus is grunting and into things he should not be into- Mr George was ignoring the behaviors until Marcus threw something and said you need to stop messing with my stuff Marcus yelled no and then Mr George said we need to end the session- or Marcus you can come in here and we can talk it out and see what is going on that you are not doing what you need to do- well he went on with talking to me for a few minutes etc and Marcus was just not be respectful of Mr George and all and so he ended the session- we did not get anywhere- well yes yes we did George saw Marcus in the light that I see him everyday-

Everyday- so Mr George asked me to bring someone with me next time so that person can sit with Marcus while I talk to George and then Marcus can go in and talk with him.

It appears the next level is coming-

I know many have good intentions of helping us and appreciate it so much- I need a break- I do

this week I handled things quite well with what has happened. Please understand this type of behavior of outbursts is daily- maybe small- maybe big but for sure it is daily- and it takes a toll on you- me I should say-

I was actually talking with a friend last night saying these are the days where I wish I had a husband to take up some of the behavior issues - I ask myself at times what was I thinking of being a single parent- parenting is not for sissies and single parenting is definately not for the weak. Although at time you feel like you can not handle it anymore and God's gracious hand give you the strength you need

Not sure where this is going- just thoughts I have had lately

So if you are a parent - hang in there - you are not alone in this - someone else has been through what you are going through- If you are a single parent- You are still not alone- there are friends and family to help you- let down your pride and ask- you are not weak when you ask. You are being strengthened.

Back to Marcus and where we are at- well I will be seeking out a referral to rule out or rule in any neurological issues with an MRI. we will see counseling again next week and see what happens the next step is counseling weekly at home and school.

I ask myself continuously what am I doing wrong- I follow what the professionals say to do- I try all the tactics -yet I can not get anywhere- yet at school it appears he does well- minus a few referrals a month. Although at school he does have a teacher - a teacher aide- 2 behavioral specialist - guidance counselor all working with him- Hmm maybe if I had that many at the house all the time it would be different-

I know I have come a long way in dealing with him - however as said before the daily outbursts do take a toll on you- and the fact you could look at him cross eyed or tell him no about something or not right now for something - and if does not like it he goes off- its not fun and I do not recommend it - :)
We shall see what the week holds- this morning I was already told I don't want to in regards to Blue

His Strength is Perfect

Same stuff different day

Well let me catch you up - Marcus decided to not be welcomed back to the home care we were attending and I do not blame her at all for not allowing him back- I actually handled it the best ever- this is the 4th one since August we have been through- that does not include since being adopted- so does it get frustrating you betcha- but as I have come to grips- I can pray- I can keep doing what the counselors advise us to do- but this is so up to Marcus- all the tools he has been given he has told me - him speaking "I do not want to do it" "I do not care" I hate you" "I do not have to". Even though he says he wants to change and needs to change- he still continues to do the same behaviors- yes I do ask myself what am I doing wrong- and then I realize it is not up to me - it is not up to me-

Marcus is in God's hands- and He has it all under control- Marcus knows what to do and he knows how to do it- so what and why is he not doing it? I ask myself that so often-and still have no answer

The daily grind of dealing with someone who has anger issues is tiring - I know I say that a lot - but it takes a toll on your mind and your body- cause you just never know when something will set him off- The only time I know when he is not going to have a moment is when he is sleeping.

Praying for one day that we go with out anger outbursts. One day

Easter +

Well Saturday was a good day - for the most part-went to work day at church- and let me just say one quality I absolutely love about Marcus is his willingness and eager to help- he outlasts me at times. then went and got my nails done- and Marcus got a pedicure- I think I created a monster he was hysterical though-

We followed that up with dinner with the Tobias and oh my goodness yum- Sushi Tsu on Amberly Dr in Tampa - they cook in front of you and Marcus has never seen that and his eyes were as big as saucers

Sunday we went to service- had a great service and then headed over to the Tobias household- did not do a whole lot in fact fell asleep which for me is always good since my sleep tends to be none existent during the week- or any other time for that matter- another story

We went and got a bite of traditional Easter dinner - Pizza

Over all a pretty good weekend

Friday was an adventure- eesh

I woke up early Marcus slept in- We got up and I did some chores then off to the movies with Jam Children's Church we went and saw Monsters vs Aliens- very cute some parts were very funny- my favorite was the spook on the Wizard of Oz.

So then I take Britany ( Tom and Cathy's daughter) and she hangs out with us for the afternoon- she is so sweet- and it was nice to have another girl around

We leave and go to JCPenneys for dress shopping- did not find anything so we went to Moes for a bite to eat- it was yummy
So I was finishing eating and I look at Marcus and he has a glazed look on his face- his eyes roll back and his head falls to the table- I am thinking is he playing oh no- then I was thinking I am fixing to call 911. I tapped his face - checked his pulse and he said he was so tired- he was like a rag doll- collapsing- so I made a quick decision got him outside and walking and he sat down- I asked Britt to clear the table cause we were going to the fire department. So off we went- pulse good pulse ox good- blood pressure bad-70/50- ever has that happened before

I was freaking out on the inside and of course - the EMTs were like your choice of what to do- I came home and filled him with pedialyte-

and I have been keeping an eye on him- talk about being scared- freaking out- I called Adam- no answer I called my sister nada- so I jumped on line and was calmed by my pastor as usual- I am ok now just was not something I have ever experienced with a human- animal yes- duh why did I not think of things I normally would do if it was an animal

He is ok tonight- complained he was hungry as usual- and was running around too-

Thank you God for keeping me calm and level headed enough to deal with the situation today-

Sunday is Coming

YWCA

Did you know that St Pete has a YWCA and is affliated with USF- well it does - and my sister is the new director there for child care- she is fabulous with the kids and she has a great new center - Her wheels were turning when I was there for things she would like to work on

Very nice staff there and it is very close to All Children's Hospital

Congratulations Lori - so proud of you- and so Thankful to God for answering prayers for your new job

I stand believing

The words of this song kept repeating over and over again- since Monday and so I finally have the right words and who wrote it- Thanks Pastor Gray-
I stand believing - I believe in miracles - and I love the fact that the words say I stand because as the word of God says and as Pastor Larry reminds us when you can not stand any longer stand some more-
So I am standing and I am believing- Are you standing and believing for your miracle?

I Stand Believing - Words and Music by Gary A. Gray

Lord I know you can,
Lord I know you will
I stand believing, I stand believing
Lord I know you can, Lord I know you will
I stand believing, I stand believing

You made the lame to walk
You made the blind to see
And I believe that You will do a miracle in me.
Lord I know you can,
Lord I know you will
I stand believing, I stand believing

Just when you think...

you have it rough or are going through struggles there are many people out there who have it so much rougher-or their struggles are so much harder- I got a chance to watch You and me last night with Pastor Larry and Jordan hosting together- I try to stay up and almost made it the entire night but fell asleep just shy of 3 am-

They will be on again tonight if you all want to watch- CTN- ctnonline.com or Channel 22 ( I think in the Tampa area it is 2) .

I loved what Pastor Larry said time and time again about those who did not have a church family- that they should find one and not go through things alone- this is so true- Others can help you through and lift you up when you are going through something- you are never alone in your struggles or problems you would be surprised how many people may have struggled with the same thing- You are not alone in this world- If you can let your pride go for just a moment you will see you are not a lone- I know that sounds harsh but I speak from experience- I was so caught up in I will show everyone do do doo do- I am super single person I can do it all-well yeah I can until I get so stressed out handling it myself-until I began asking for help or sharing what I have been through or even struggle with now-I did not realize others had felt the way I did.

Believe me I have learned to ask for help -why cause I realize I am not alone- First of all I have God to give me strength when mine is depleted- he says to trust him with all things -

Second I have the best family- this includes my church family- I am not sure what I would do with out them- they have lifted me up in prayer- held me when i just needed a shoulder to cry on- and have just come over and sat with me until I was ok-

Ok where was I going with this not sure got off track- oh ok humbled- by the fact others have deeper issues and struggles and I get the opportunity to pray with them- that is a privilege-

If you need a church family that will love and support you no matter if you are a teenager struggling with addictions, a single parent struggling with your kids- a married couple that needs reassurance- or someone who just needs to know the love of Christ -come to Northside Assembly of God- we will welcome you with open arms.

Come this Sunday to Easter Service- a time for new beginnings-

Journaling and such

Journaling- is a great thing- I did not realize it until PD asked us to do it for Life Coaching last year- I have 2 different journals- one in which are my thoughts and concerns to God- something between Him and I- no one else sees it but me- my personal feelings my personal struggles triumphs and just simply chatting with God.
My other I keep that is very time consuming is Marcus'- you may ask why do I keep a journal - I keep it to show the Dr, therapist etc of what his behaviors are and what he chooses to do or not do- It take a lot out of you emotionally- physically and yes at times spiritually- but I know God is faithful and he is always there- I continue to grow in my trust in Him-
It shows how he reacts it shows good things but mostly the way he resolves things- it has helped- I pulled out several pages the last time I went to the Drs and they were able to see what was going on-
You know when you have a child with mental issues- you have to take extra steps- to get the help he or she needs- you know it may rip you a part inside but you also know it is the best thing for him/her- I do not know what tomorrow will bring for Marcus but I do know who does and I know God is watching and caring for us.
God has truly giving me strength because with out it I would have crumbled-
The Drs now in Marcus life are a gift from God- and a great confirmation of how I have been doing the correct things- I know many of you have told me- and I trust you and your words.
Marcus is in control of his future- he has been given the tools over and over and now it is in his hands- I have tried to change him and realize it is not up to me - it is completely up to him- I keep giving him what he needs and how he uses it will determine his future

Spring Break

I decided to take spring break off work- hmm at this point I am wondering why? nothing but grief- hopefully it will change-

We have Drs and dentist appts this week and then if able - as of this morning I feel like doing nothing fun- I know that sounds horrible- however talking back getting angry grunting and groaning and yelling and screaming does not make it fun to go anywhere you just never know when it is going to happen.

I guess I will have to see how each morning goes-

Today- We are coming home from the dentist and I am going to work on a few projects around here while he works on some projects from school. I know I am so mean but he is not doing well in comprehension and since I really do no have things planned today then that is what will happen

the evening is open and we have no plans - so we shall see what the day unfolds

Happy 8th Bday

Actually it was a happy day- was not sure what the day was to bring but it ended up a very enjoyable time- just at home hanging out with my parents and my sister and her family- plus Adam and Brenda came over for a dinner and a very small celebration - nothing overwhelming Here are some photos- enjoy

Happy Birthday Marcus

What was I doing 8 years ago on April 4 2001 - probably studying for a final-I was in classes at the USF while my little man was being born-

there is so much of a mystery of what happened his first 4 and half years of his life and this summer I will have him for half of his life.

Many of you have the privilege of carrying your children and then delivering them- you went through the labor pains- well I think I am still going through the labor pains.

We have been through so much and honestly I just want a normal or semi normal child- oh I love him so - and I have learned that I can not change him and Marcus is in control of what he does- so I am hoping that this birthday he realizes all the things he has been taught by me - a miracle could happen and he could start - that would be a great bday

Not sure right now what Marcus future will hold- but I know who does and God has it all under control-

Happy Birthday My Little Man- I hope it is a good day!

So glad it's a new day

Yesterday was a little rough- all day I had a migraine forming and whew I thought during service my head would explode and dealing with that and Marcus was double fun- he had a very rough afternoon and evening- but today is a new day-

I am so very tired - migraines wear me out the next day- I slept good and slept sound but the alarm went off way to early in my opinion-

Praying for a quiet day today to accomplish much at work and at home- Looking forward to Friday coming because then I am on vacation from work-just a time to go whew and breathe and rest and relax-

I love my job

I do I love what I do- even though there are those days when it is so very stressful- I still love it- I do not talk too much about it just because of what I do- but my career is in the life changing business and I am so excited to be a part of it- I see things that are simple amazing and so blessed to be apart of it all- God has surely blessed those I work along side with wisdom and knowledge.

So I just wanted to thank God for the opportunities he has given me through my position- It is amazing what I see and do.