I have this problem- I am working on it- believe me I am - I try to be perfect at almost everything I do- I set goals for myself and attain them. So far I have done very well.
Well- the most important goal I thought was being a perfect mom- but you know there is no such thing- I know many of you that read are very close -okay maybe far from it-
But you know what you are - you are Godly moms-You are training - I am training my child to be a Godly young man of God- now whether he chooses to continue down that path is in fact his choice- I do not want to be a perfect mom why- because I have been trying to and you know what it is causing me to be overtired, overstressed, and emotionally drained. I can however be the best Godly mom possible. still not perfect but raising him to Love God -which he does so much - he sings to him all the time - that is good- even when he wakes me up.
You know I got some wonderful guidance today- allow me to share with you - most of what I said above was guidance- sometimes we all need some- I know I need a lot when it comes to parenting- I wish there was a manual - I know there is it is the BIBLE. but you all know what I am saying- a child that was raised in foster care possibly abused (more then likely) had adhd, impulse problems and can be aggresive you can raise them like this.... not so easy -I wish.
I am working on not trying to please others for how I parent- because honestly how I parent my child is so different from how you may parent yours- we all have unique kids- and even in the same family you may have to parent each child differently- that is one reason why I only have one- okay not really -if I had 2 I am not sure if I could survive-
I am being honest here- I have picked way to many battles with Marcus- why because I wanted him fixed done with his past over all gone by by. Well that is not going to happen overnight- it could by the grace of God and I believe that God is just waiting for me to stop being so stubborn and trying to handle it all on my own. Why do I do that- he knows exaclty what Marcus needs-
At times I do feel like I am alone in this parenting world-sometimes I feel I am like when will we get a breakthrough - am I really making a difference- I am failing as a parent. I come home I battle with him after work - I know this was my choice- I know I wanted to adopt- I know no one said it was going to be easy- I have learned. However it is so rewarding when he is doing well- you see today was a very off very off day for him - he did not get a star in his class today (this was a first in 28 days) and I got a phone call- it is harder when he does poorly for sure- but I am so thankful he is in that class.
Before you all start sending me comments I know I am not alone- okay maybe- it is that I can do alone single mentality I have- I know I have a wonderful wonderful wonderful full of love an concern church family and wonderful caring and supportive loving extended family. I am learning more and more to ask for help-
So those that read this from my wonderful loving chruch family- I love you all and one day may ask you to help so I can have a day to myself- or just with other adults-I love when I have leaders meeting or CE meetings or life coaching- that is my time with just adults- it is so wonderful- I love him topieces but we all need time away from the children. I think as asingle parent we need more time- why because there is only one of us handling everything- from the every day things to do all through emergencies that may occur- bills to be paid- etc etc
Not sure where this blog is going I think I am just rambling now- if any of this made sense to you feel free to comment me-
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