These were the words from my good friend Bernie ( a big brother - one of 2 that I have) when he told me this I was really unsure what he was talking about- because I know Marcus had a little bit of a rough patch in the morning Sunday - which physically drained me to where I was shaking. But with the help of big brother Adam we were able to work it through.
Anyway- I kept thinking about the day and thinking where did I make a mistake in how I dealt with it- I was calm - yes I had a hold of him but I really was not angry-
Well I found out later that night what mistakes I have been making by big brother Adam in(in the course of the past weeks)- it so nice to have people in your life that can say hey this is what I am observing and relax-
So guess what I am not perfect- I guess I have been striving to be the perfect mom - and causing myself to become overwhelmed over tired and just consumed by everything Marcus does. Adam said you have directed him and disciplined and guided him over the past 2 1/2 years with strict reins give him a little slack and you relax- let each moment that occurs pass by and stop holding on to past occurence- each day is new and stop going backwards- you know I was like but -- stop worrying about the but what if, focus on the day. He is doing well in school and now it is my turn to relax and learn.
Is it that important that he walks - he will learn he will fall and get hurt- is it that important he eats slowly- one day he will choke and slow down-
For me - I had to have him so strict when he first came into my home that I guess I just have let up - so this morning- I let up- and gee you know it was a nice morning -
Sometimes it is hard to hear the truth but sometimes you need to hear it so you yourself can change for the betterment of your family-
I am thankful for big brothers like Adam and Bernie- they are 2 of several men that Marcus absolutely adores at church and I am so thankful for both the Tobias family and the Currie Family for their guidance, love , and support and sometimes a little swift kick.
I am not perfect- I began reading a book last night about a praying parent - and it nailed me right on the head -
I will write about that later -
Remind me to those who read - it is okay to make mistakes and relax- sometimes I need to hear even if I do not want to
2 comments:
Hey I am so glad you are in such a strong family oriented church and surrounded by such a great support system. Sometimes it is hard to hear the truth and sometimes to "let up/go" is not so easy! I too find myself feeilng like I have to be strick on certain things and Sean says honey does it really matter...I think it does but when I step back I see how things are different and the the outcomes change all by me changing my perspective.
One of the hardest things I have learned is that no matter how much discipline, guidance or teaching you can not control what your child choses to do. Its not easy to accept because as a mom you feel like you have to be perfect and your child's behavior is a reflection of who you are. Remember who you are in Christ and who Marcus is in Christ. You were chosen to guide and help him grow in Christ first and all the other stuff that comes along with parenting. You are doing a fantastic job Michele! He has a heart that is chasing after God and he is how old??!! YOu dont find that in alot of kids his age! You dont find the sensitivity in a child his age towards the Holy Spirit. God is working on him and you. My suggestion...take some mommy time! Find a nice cup of tea or coffee and go relax. DO something for you! Don't forget to make time for YOU! If you are drained all the time and I know alot is from dealing with Marcus but if you are completely drained you will have nothing left to give him.
I love ya and am here to talk when you need me.
melissa
One of the best way we teach our children is through modeling. However, sometimes we get so caught up into being "perfect" parents that we start modeling to our children that they have to be "perfect" as well. It reminds me of that saying, "do as I say and not as I do!" Oh, how we confuse our children with that one sometimes. I am guilty of this too and I think every parent struggles with balance every now and then. You are a great mom and Marcus is blessed to have you just as you are blessed to have him. Don't worry! Even as a parent you are still learning and the best part about it is that you are receptive to advices from your "big brothers. " Thank God for them too.You are right it is okay to make mistakes and you are being a big person by accepting this and think about how wonderful it is that you can "model" just that to your son. Children need to learn that it is okay to make mistakes too.
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