God created....

God created....

...Marcus to be kind, caring, compassionate, loving, gentle and having self-control- these are the words I have poured into Marcus since he has been home- He has changed-

Since Sunday we have had 3 good days- Yes some problems have occurred but I remind him of how he was created- He seems to apologize on his own-he seems to want to share more- and express how he is feeling- I know it has been just 3 days but these days have been wonderful.

I stayed home from work yesterday because of a Migraine and he was so very good- oh some minor things like please turn down your drums- yes maam I got and sorry it is too loud.

Today he was back in summmer camp since the 11th I think- and he had a good day. He was even in a good mood when I picked up. He was a gentleman the entire way home and listened when we got home-

I was thrilled since I was taking an online class tonight- which I am doing as I write this- multi tasking.

So maybe just maybe he is realizing that he is created to be loving and kind and caring.
I believe God is beginning to heal his mind of the past and helping to realize he does not have to be like the way he was raised.-

Even on Sunday instead of arguing and getting grumpy with Uncle Adam in CC he told him he was not feeling well and wanted to come in service with me- well he did and he fell asleep on my lap-( i love that-even though he was not feeling well-) oh he was fine by later that evening.

Okay I know it has only been 3 days but it is 3 good days where he is coming to me realizing he has done wrong-with his choices -or apologzing for his choices- big steps- not saying there will be steps backwards but forward is good

I am working on edifying and lifting him up- Pastor Larry spoke about Jordan throwing a ball threw his back car window when he was little and the first thing he said was nice arm ( paraphrasing ) so even when Marcus has made bad choices it starts off with edifying him first and occassionaly I have gotten a little creative. Lift Him Up!

God created... (not just Marcus)
... us all to be joyful, loving, kind, caring, compassionate and self control-

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

We shall Overcome-

okay 1 day out of 10 days were good at grannie and papaws- well we should see how things go tomorrow - cause I am going to pick him up after work.

I found out yesterday Marcus is not considered an ESE candidate at this time-When I read that and he was going to put in a regular classroom-( he will be going to SandPine Elementary School) I just cried and I was at work - thanks Karen for listening. Not sure why so emotional at the time but when I was driving to church last night - I realized I just do not want a repeat of last years first day of school- many of you know the pen and the principal incident no laughing okay it is funny no not really. My heart hurts for my son cause I want the best for him- I want him to overcome his past- I know it takes time- it has just been 2 years but some people really do not have the concept of what we have accomplished. He still has outbursts but not nearly as often. Some people do not have the concept of what he was through as a child( I know he still is one). If you want to know I will sit down and talk with you.

So as we were doing praise and worship- my heart was focused on God and asking him what do I do? I want Marcus to be so successful- not monetary success but just for him to overcome the fear of having someone leave him- to trust others- to realize no one is going to hurt him-to realize that he is wonderfully made by God and God created him to be loving and kind and compassionate (thanks Pastor Larry-you encouraged me last night- you did too PD).

I wanted God to show me what he sees for Marcus what he has for him now- Help me to have peace about the school and the district.

I just got a sense which I can not explain that this was right - that this what needs to be done. that the school will be there to help and guide. Oh I am still praying but in my heart I am content. not anxious about the choice of school just about the transition to the school and the childcare before and after.

This is the year Marcus overcomes a lot I know it I expect it I anticipate it- we shall overcome together.

I do have a request from those who read- please pray for us over the next several weeks for Marcus and his behavior choices, for the tranisitions (school starts August 20th ) , for Marcus to trust the teachers and be content with where he is going to school. for him to overcome and anything else you feel God leading you to pray for us.

Off to bed must get to work early in the morning. Good Night my friends!

Parenting from a Distance

Have you ever parented from a distance- well it seems like that is the task at hand the last 2 days- Marcus is just not doing well and mom and dad are trying very hard to do like I do but when you are not use to it -it is very hard.

He knows to listen and to do what is asked but he just is choosing not to. I think I am more tired now than I am when he is here.

I miss him- but I do pray that he figures out, if he listens he can have a better time then in his room -

He has been talking back a lot to grannie and telling her to shut her mouth , that was his house, his toys and very possessive of things and mouthy- I have taught him to share we- and we do not talk like that what is going on with him- I know he is on antibiotics but to be talking back and not listening so much is a bit ridiculous.

He has even raised his voice and talked back to me more then usual- tonight I said - okay you do not want to talk with me nicely I will hang up and that is what I did-

I had Uncle Adam call him and talk to him.

All those that read this say some prayers the rest of the week- for my parents - I know they are tired and at a loss- I feel bad that he is doing this.

Say some prayers for Marcus too- that God would give him wisdom in how to behave nicely.

I thought this would be a quiet time this week but it seems as though I was wrong- Oh the house is quiet but my thoughts of him misbehaving so unruly is driving me crazy - Makes me very sad. I was hoping he would behave very well- but my hopes are pretty much depleted- I even said he could earn some of his sports stuff for his room last night if he listened and did what he was asked to do. That did not work.

I know this week was going to be difficult but this is a bit much- sorry mom and dad- I know you are trying -but I do appreciate you watching him and Dakota and Ainsley. Maybe next time we will do only him- not that would make a difference.

Going to bed - I have a very early morning and so look forward to another 10 hour day- really I do we have surgeries and I love it. Then Courageous Parenting - I will look so forward to going!

A little Green around the Gills-

Well- I am back from Melbourne- we had a good time- a good group- and learned some new things-

Long weekend though- seminars always wipe me out- But this time I am green around the gills-Not feeling well today and actually left work early (that really means I am not feeling well when I leave work)- not sure what is up- maybe caught some bug messing with my insides ( no more details to give you)

It is quiet at the house with no child- sometimes a little too quiet. He is giving mom and dad a run for their money- mom said she realizes what I go through on a daily basis now. no picnic lunch.

Did not do a whole lot today- well at work we had surgery and got finished with that quickly but had more stuff to do but felt very wiped out so my wonderful boss said to go home - well she also said she was being selfish cause she wanted me there tomorrow- ahh the love- it is nice to be needed :)

Over the weekend I found out I was nominated for Florida Technician of the year- did not get it but it was neat just to be honored.

I know this is short but I need to go rest- I was going to go do laundry, and tidyup the house- but I am feeling blah again- going to go call Marcus and hopefully hear a good report

It is Quiet Here- very strange

Well- yesterday I took Marcus to grannie and papaws in Venice- tomorrow the cousins come so they will have their hands full with 3 of the 4 grandchildren.

I would love to tell you Marcus is behaving the best ever but he is having some trouble with doing what he is asked to do. I gave grannie and papaw some ideas of what I use- we shall see how the week plays out- hopefully he will get is behavior in gear and make good choices. Say a little prayer for my parents the rest of this week and next. He is feeling better but still on anitbiotics for another 8 days.

We had another great parenting teaching last night at church- Something that was said really has me thinking about examples to our children- Kids see a lot of examples on a daily basis - I want Marcus to see a great example to follow- with God's help - I think I can do that- oh there are somethings God has shown me that I need to work on. I think back at the examples Marcus had before coming to me and wow what an impact they had on him- it is taking so much to change that from his mind- His psychologist ( wonderful person) says 2-3 years to undo things from where he was maybe longer- oh my- we have come far- but we have a long way still to go.This weekend makes it 2 years since he moved in with me- the first weekend I had him permanently we went to grannie and papaws- so he is doing it again.

It seems so quiet here without him- I went to give a hug and kiss to him yesterday before I left and started to cry- This time away will help me get rejuvenated and relaxed. I think maybe it will help him too-

I will be leaving tomorrow for a trip to Melbourne til Sunday afternoon ( I will miss my church family at Northside) It is for work- to learn more about animal stuff. Never been to Melbourne so we shall see- we are staying right on the beach.

Talk to you all soon- PD- if you are reading this - tell Dustin I hope he is feeling better-

Have a good one

My bubba is sick

He is so cute- Well I found out today Marcus has Strep- I should have known he was not feeling well- he was grumpy last week and then Monday and Tuesday (today) he complained about his throat hurting- which is unusual for him-
So no summercamp the rest of the week- I am driven him to Grannie and Papaws tomorrow - so I do not miss work on Thursday- he was going to go down on Thursday for a week anyway.

So the doctor gave him some meds and he should began feeling better within 24 - 48 hours- hopefully not so grumpy- although I am the same way when I do not feel well- sometimes I want to be left alone sometimes I want to be babied-

He has been in bed since about 3 - just not feeling right- you feel so helpless
This is a short one- I need to finish packing for his trip- ahh next week quietness- what to do? go crazy insane with not knowing what to do with out a child for a week - I will have withdrawls.

Say a little prayer for him- I do not like to see him this way

Expectancy-

full of hope- we should all be full of hope even when life is not going quite the way we would like it too. I know of 2 families in the last week that have lost their daughters- not very old either one 16 months and the other 20 years old ( i did not know this family personally-)

How can they be full of hope? I am not sure- I do not know the words to help ease the pain they are going through- but I know I serve a God who does give us hope, does give us strength-. We just need to trust in him.

What am I full of hope for- well for God to do great things in my life- in the lives that I come in contact with-in my church family-in my own family- to do great things in Marcus' life. I am expecting great things- not material things- but life changing - never to be the same- type of things.

For Marcus - I am expecting a miracle- a supernatural- overflowing power miracle- to touch is mind- to heal his hurts - to overcome is past and triumph into the future- I expect the ADHD to be healed- I expect the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to fall away- no child needs this- I expect a miracle to be upon his life-No doubt in my mind it WILL happen- why and how do I know because I am expecting it-

My heart is full of expectancy- not just for Marcus- but for my friends - for my coworkers- I expect miracles to happen in their lives-

You see if we do not have a heart of expectacy or a heart full of hope- then how can we expect God to move- how can we expect Him to realize we are waiting with anticipation.

I am waiting with anticipation for the day when Marcus stops hurting people because he is upset. I am waiting for the day when he tells me that he does not want to behave that way anymore- that he can focus without being told- that he is able to redirect - that is does not get upset at little things- I know this day will happen I know it will soon.

Some of you make think I am expecting too much - no way- I have a great big GOD and he knows my heart and how much I want Marcus to be touched by the Master's hand- you see God created Him perfectly- It was man- that has corrupted his life - so you see God makes no JUNK- and I know when God is ready- and the time is right-The junk that man created -will be turned into the most precious thing you have ever seen.

The Touch of the Master's Hand -
It was battered and scarred, And the auctioneer thought it Hardly worth his while To waste his time on the old violin, But he held it up with a smile. "What am I bid, good people", he cried, "Who starts the bidding for me?" "One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?" "Two dollars, who makes it three?" "Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three",
But, No, From the room far back a grey haired man Came forward and picked up the bow, Then wiping the dust from the old violin And tightening up the strings, He played a melody, pure and sweet, As sweet as the angel sings.
The music ceased and the auctioneer With a voice that was quiet and low, Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?" As he held it aloft with its' bow. "One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?" "Two thousand, Who makes it three?" "Three thousand once, three thousand twice, Going and gone", said he.
The audience cheered, But some of them cried, "We just don't understand." "What changed its' worth?" Swift came the reply. "The Touch of the Masters Hand."

Sunday School- is Awesome ( and a few side notes)

Well it is later then I normally write because of an awesome meeting I just attended- God was there. It is so wonderful when His presence is so real.



Okay so I am going to talk about the wonderful CE department at our church- we have an awesome director and we have an awesome team of teachers- dedicated to teaching the word of God- now my focus is on the kids class - so sorry adults -Let me back up about a 11/2 years ago. This was a turning point in my life which I had no idea what an impact it would have. You see I did not attend Sunday School regularly- sleeping in was an option for me- until one day God layed upon my heart to teach high schoolers - agghh what was He thinking? Well -now I know what he was thinking. I think

Now- I do not know what I would do without Sunday School- I love to teach and I love see the impact it has on the kids and youth I teach- who knew how God would use me- When I miss a Sunday School time wow- it impacts me -

To be able to dive into the Word of God and Be able to teach it- what a privilege- what an honor- and some days I still have no clue what I am doing- But God does. I am currently teaching 3-5 age group and that is good cause I love to see them learn about God and see them remember the stories of Peter and how he prayed for Tabitha ( our lesson for today) they soak it in- you may not think so but they do- I was teaching high schoolers- I loved to ask them questions - they would not like - cause I did not settle for one word answer- I miss teaching them but I will teach wherever Bernie needs me to teach ages 3-18 that is.

This coming Sunday I will not be there to teach and I am going to miss it so- I have a conference on the east coast that I will be attending- I will miss service too- which I am bummed cause God is moving in my life ( will discuss this later on this week) - but I will pray for a mighty move in the service-

Sunday School not only has impacted my life but Marcus- he learns so much from is wonderful teachers Miss Lorna and Miss Lisa- he loves you guys. I can ask him what he learns in Sunday School and he tells me right away- Which I am thankful for. You all do a fabulouse job- Thank you for making a difference in his life.

If you are not in Sunday School- you should be- it will change your life forever- I know it has me-I will never stop going even if I do not teach- which I doubt that will ever happen- I would miss it too much.

On a much sadder note- For those of you involved with Bible Quiz one of the coaches lost a child this past Friday- The Valentin's from Lakeland lost their youngest child. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to them- I have no idea what they are going through but I will be praying for them- Rest in Peace Ariana.

Ahh to be a Cat

Sometimes I wish I could take on the life of my cats- oh not reincarnation or anything like that- but to have the life of sleeping all day and not having a care in the world. Do not worry he is not dead- it is Clarence sleeping in the tub

Felix and Clarence were left at the animal hospital I use to work for- they are so sweet and loving- sometimes a little too much when it is 4 am and Clarence decides to sit on your head - he is heavy he is a whopper of 17 lbs. Animals love us unconditionally just like God loves us unconditionally and we as parents love our child unconditionally- no matter what they do.

Why? do I want to be a cat? today was just a day of cleaning and everytime I turned around the cat or cats would be right there sleeping in the clean tub on the bed or on the couch- ugh sleep that is what I long for- rest - it is a good thing -I know God gives rest to the weary

This is Libby the cat who we had to do a skin graf on to save her bottom lip- we found her at about 6 weeks old by our chicken coup.

Wow- it just hit me- my animals and my son all have the same thing in common- someone who took them in to love and nurture when everyone else turned away- my dog is the same way- he was injured when he was a pup and he is not the brightest dog- very sweet - but something is not quite the same- so we are a family of misfits all brought together to be loved and cared for no matter what.

Marcus was upstairs doing his school work- we work on vocabulary on the weekends- just to stay on top of things- he was lagging on this when he tested but he is reading well now - I am proud of him. Anyway- he was upstairs and oops mom fell asleep on the couch- he said mommy I am done - of course he scared me half to death- did not know I dosed off.

We did not do a whole lot today - we got up very early-You see I inherited my dad's internal alarm clock so no matter what day of the week I wake up before the sun rises- so I think Marcus received that gene from dad as well- we were up at out of the house by 7:30 to the grocery store- back by 8:20 - done- I just do not like grocery shopping one bit.

We then came home and started on the chores- Marcus is in charge of his bedroom and bathroom- cleaning it - bringing clothes to the washer- garbage out- etc etc- Hey I can not do it alone- We live in a wonderful townhouse- 2 bedroom 2 bath- and he needs to help.

He then took a nap cause he was grabby- slept for a couple hours and woke up did some school work on the computer and worksheets- we ate dinner- and I actually cooked a very good one- fish and corn and au gratin potatoes- I really need some cooking help - I stink.

It rained most of the day- I think my highlight of the day was when we walked to the mailbox in the rain after dinner ( no worries no lightening or thunder-) and then the fight began- I splashed him in a big puddle- he was not sure what to do- I do not think he has ever walked in the rain and played in puddles- well by the time we got back to the house we were laughing so hard and we weres soaking wet- he was freezing- so I had towels by the door and we got him dried off and up to take a nice warm bath-

So now he is in bed- it is my time- off to have some peanut butter ice cream and follow up reading for tomorrows Sunday School Lesson. - I think I will discuss Sunday School tomorrow night something I would love to share

Have a good one

Michele

Not Friends - Family

I have some of the best friends ever- some I have known for so long like the Tobias family- Can you believe I have known Brenda and Adam since we were very young- I do not remember them but for some reason they seem to remember me-
Way back when I was 6 or so Brenda use to play with my sister- Way back when I was 10 or so I use to swim with Adam's sister and in high school was a majorette with his sister.



We really had not seen each other for years and then one day I started attending Venice Assembly- We got reconnected and wow they are so significant in my life- such encouragers- there when I need someone to talk too-


Supported me when I decided to pursue my dream of getting my Bachelors in Zoology 9 years ago and move away from the town I grew up in. Helped me move here- drove the moving van.
Or maybe that was to make sure I stayed here.

They were there when I was scared and felt alone- they were there to fix broken things in my apartments and my home when I bought it


They were one of the reasons I was able to be chosen to be a mom- They wrote nice things about me.


They were there during the ceremony of me signing the adoption papers - they have been there when I did not know what else to do with Marcus- when he was so out of control- they have showed me even before I got Marcus how to raise Godly children. They have allowed me to stay with them and veg out so they could take care of Marcus when we had a rough week or more. Adam has a way with him- okay he has a way with kids - many of you know that. The other person in the picture is one of my other best friends Aunt Bekah (as Marcus would call her- I may later on write about her- we have had some good times-did my first mission trip with her to Africa).

Once again they have been there for me- Brenda was fortunately off today from work- and not feeling well- but was so gracious in allowing him to stay with her since he was suspended from summercamp. I am very thankful for that- that way I did not miss another day of work- Brenda I appreciate it more then you know-

And Marcus did not have a bad day- some minor things but other then that pretty good- of course he could not do a whole lot to get in trouble- no cartoons- he had schoolwork to do- reading- educational only TV and naptime.

The Tobias' are more then Friends they are Family- and I am so Thankful for them.

Trials and Tribulations

We started a teaching on Courageous Parenting at Northside on Wednesday Night- last night was the first night. For those of you who attend Northside you should come-even if you do not attend you should come on Wednesday to hear the teaching. It has impacted me already so much and it has only been 24 hours.

My wonderful Pastors Larry and Deanna Shrodes- they are the best, spoke about how God knew us before we were formed in our mother's womb- my thought was wow Marcus was not even in my womb but God knew one day he would be my child. Our children have been destined by God to do great things and Satan does not want that to happen- he wants our children. When they were speaking last night I just kept thinking how Marcus is destined for greatness and how God took him from the claws of Satan and handed him over to me to nurture, to love on, to discipline, to parent, to show him the love of God.

I am so looking forward to the days to come and learning and soaking in so much more of what God has to offer on Courageous Parenting.

I tell you all of that just to say - I was encouraged yesterday and tested with the trials of an ADHD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Child today- He had a horrible day today, got sent home from summer camp early and then suspended for Friday. What to do- cancel cancel cancel-

But you keep on commanding him - you keep on loving him- you keep on directing him- you keep on praying for him.

I was able to talk with him a bit and he was remembering times again before he lived here. Oh how I pray God would take that memory away. Just erase it with the bad memories and start to have only good memories.

This trial day is over for him - off to go do laundry - clean the bathrooms- oh I know the excitement is so overwhelming- a mother's work is never done.