Things learned this past year

You always learn something when you take a moment a look back- so I am taking the moment right now - in the midst of cleaning and paying bills

As year 2011 began I was often reminded to trust God more then ever - especially over the first 5 months of the year- often God said to me did you not dedicate him to me and do not worry I will take care of him. That he did. I learned to not give up no matter what- God chooses not to give up on us so I could not give up on him

Take care of myself- take time to myself and be healthy- I fell back on that over the last few months but getting ready to get back on board with that-

As the year progressed I learned that it is ok to ask for help and let people know you are weak- i mean those you have that type of trust-

Miracles do happen with medication and the proper guidance - miracles do happen- my son came home so different - it was a long road but we made it and we made it triumphantly. Trusting God more and more-my faith mean more to me now then ever and the word Hope means more to me then ever- I chose that word for my word for the year and it means to expect with confidence. Hope is a good word to have. Our God is full of hope

Life is so precious- and I hold my family and friends more dear to me now then ever before- for we do not know what tomorrow brings- the words I love you mean more to me today then ever- the words be safe will hold a dear place to me- and I also learned I miss the word get out of the kitchen more today then ever.

There is a tomorrow - and a new year - I am looking forward to saying goodbye to the this year especially the last 4 months - I look forward and anticipate good things for our family for our life and for those who I hold close.

Catch up time

Ok so Marcus had 2 large teeth pulled from his mouth- I mean large rooted- he did amazingly well- healed well and very brave. this was 3 days before Christmas- I know I know- but he was off school and I did not know how he would react.Then we headed down to Venice- to hang out with dad and the 2 younger kids- the kids were great they ran around with me while we did errands and then played outside pretty much the entire time we were there.Lori and Stacy came down Christmas Eve morning- and once again the kids were outside the majority of the timeThen we all got ready and went to church Christmas Eve- it was a good service with tears shed- as we all knew that mom was missing from the service.Came home kids finished decorating for Santa and then off to bed they went-I did not sleep to great but oh well- the kids got up early Christmas and off to the races with presents- they all were excited - Marcus with his Wii game- Ainsley with her guinea pig cage- Dakota with not sure what he got excited over-Dad cooked dinner that night and it turned out very good-I left on Monday morning and then had my moment-on the way home- its a normal thing after it all is over that is my moment time-Had a nice time with some besties that evening and headed in to work Tuesday- then Drs appt then hung at the Tobias house (picking up Marcus) however I did get my normal thing to do- sleep -Marcus over the last few days have spent some time with friends house- wow this is a huge deal - we would not have done that a year ago let alone 6 years ago- so awesome to see him get along so well with kids his age- with no drama no outbursts-so today-I am getting caught up a few things around the house- and then not sure what the rest of the day will hold-

Happy Thursday

Well Christmas is only a few days away- I do have all my shopping done- its going to be a quiet year this year a different year.
Yesterday I was filled with mixed emotions as we had service at Celebration as I was saying Merry Christmas to everyone- I want to be up here for Christmas (hopefully next year) but this year we will be back at mom and dad's to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Its all good. Of course Marcus wants to stay so he can sing- can you say ouch- again he gets it though.

Today should be a shorter day at work- as its my discretion as when we leave- Marcus is also having a couple teeth pulled. so tonight will be a quiet night ( i have things to get done ) but I am sure he will be in bed early.

So make a difference in someones life whether it be you just tell them Merry Christmas, offer a smile, or just say you appreciate all they do

Joy

great happiness: feelings of great happiness or pleasure, especially of an elevated or spiritual kind
What Michele you have joy? After the year you have from Marcus being in residential to losing your mom- yep I do and if I could explain it I would-
I am not saying that I am sad that mom is not here- I miss her horribly- but there is a peace inside in which I can not understand about it all- I have my moments and I work through them.
Am I into the whole Christmas celebration this year- a little bit differently I think .

Teaching Sunday School again has helped in many ways-
Especially this last one when we talked about the joy the shepherds had- Here God chose them to come and see the newborn King- the lowliest.

Luke 1:8-10
8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.

Do not be afraid for God has good news for you-He has good news for me- I can not wait to see what His plans are- I am anticipating that the dreams and desires I have will be fulfilled this year!

What will the new year bring

well for Marcus and school a new step in the right direction- I got word last week or so Marcus is ready for all regular classes. YEAH- this we have worked hard for and wow can not believe we are here- oh but for the grace of God-

So they asked me if I was ok with it - and I said if you think he is ready lets' do it that was the goal.

I think he will do well - I have so enjoyed watching him mature and grow and get along with kids- I am blessed and humbled by the fact that God would allow me to be his mom and watch the miracle He is doing in him.

Diary of Love and Thanks to my Wonderful Mommy- By Marcus Danielson

I thought I would share a letter Marcus wrote to me- it touched my heart so much -means so much and is so precious

Dear Mommy,
Thank you for caring and helping me through grannie's death. Also, I thank you for putting up with my bad behavior that I did to you, since I was thinking about grannie. Also, thank you for letting me know that Papaw is not lonely and the he has his dog and people near his house. Thank you for making a good idea (actually was Dakota's) to build a bear so I am not so worried about Papaw and thinking he was lonely. Thank you for letting me talk to you about how I was worried about if I was going to die soon like grannie did. Thank you for letting me talk with you when I have a problem or something on my mind or have a bad feeling. Thank you for letting me ask if you are ok and letting me comfort you when you are crying or sad about grannie or having a moment. Thank you for allowing me to be your son
PS
(are you ready?) If you weren't my mommy my life would be horrible. I can't do anything in my life that I am able to do if it weren't for you and if weren't for you adopting me I would be angry, mad 95% of the time every day over the entire year.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Love Marcus

What a difference a year makes- I am the one blessed and he is growing and maturing into the young man God created him to be- I am truly the one that is blessed by being his mom- through it all God has and had a plan and I am honored God chose me to be the mom to him that would allow him to become the person God created him to become.

My First Christmas in Heaven-

MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN
( i do not know the author- I did not write this)
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, We really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above,I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Merry Christmas MOM

the days of Sunday

Well I love Sundays - I attend the best church in the Tampa Bay Area ( CelebrationChurchofTampa ) I am truly blessed that I am able to teach the best kids Sunday School and be able to disciple them in the things of God- they are so smart and seeking him. I then get to participate with the best team of children's church workers - Kidzone of Celebration is phenomenal- the team we have is amazing and we each have a unique part in reaching your kids for Christ.
We have some of the craziest people that attend there and I mean that in a good way- they lift you up when you are down- they celebrate with you when it is time to celebrate they mourn when you mourn. The people that attend there are family- they love you unconditionally. So I look forward to church on Sundays (wednesday too) Marcus and I get there fairly early and usually are one of the last to leave. Marcus is a great help on Sundays- setting up when needed and tearing down when needed- He serves without questioning he just does it. I love his heart for the things of God. He so badly wants to sing in choir - which I absolutely love love love.
Well then our Sundays are usually quiet with the evenings watching football- together - I did that for many years with my mom and dad- of course mom and I would yell at the tv - like that would ever help - LOL- I still yell just not as loud and Marcus can call a penalty before the flag flies ( i think he learned that from Uncle Adam)
This Sunday is not much different except while watching football I am studying- can not wait for this test to be done.
This week is a little busy approaching so I will keep you posted on the days ahead-
Happy Sunday all- get to church it will change your life!!!

Decorating for Christmas

well most people decorate for Christmas- i like simple things in decroating- I have some lights outside with a reindeer that i have had since i was a sophmore in high school - this year i have my tree up and it is lit with the topper on top- have not put ornaments on it yet- not sure why- just never pulled them out- marcus is cool with it cause he just loves the lights anyway.
my christmas excitement over the last couple of years have been hampered by marcus being in the crisis unit- this year its hampered by mom missing-
i have had some good times but there are times where i want to pick up the phone and say hey mom what about this or that-or her calling and asking what marcus wantes this year-
just a different year again-
however i have not lost sight of what the true meaning of christmas is-the birth of our Savior

Now I am a rockin mom

ok so this week has been a struggle with marcus and his mouth and just little things that could have been simple he made very difficult - talking back raising his voice etc
well last night was the confrontation when i simply sat on his bed and said what is wrong with you- crocodile tears filled his eyes and he said i don't want to be like grannie - i am afraid to die.
well i said a few things- like you know where you are going when you die right, yes maam he said - i was like good.
i said are you sick- no maam - i said good-
i said you are young and we all do not know when it will be our time to die but we should not be afraid of it. we talked more and by the time we were done he was smiling-

this morning he woke up and said he felt so much better about talking it out- i reminded him whatever is on his mind to talk it out with someone if it helps - it does not have to be me

so rockin around the christmas tree was on the radio on our way to miss valerie's and he grabs me and hugs me and says mommy you are a rockin mommy.

You are such a mean mommy

I know I know I am- what a difference a day makes- yesterday in my blog I was singing Marcus praise well that back fired-
What happens when a child does not accept no and has anger issues
- screaming
- you are mean
- i am going to hit you in the head
- i will kick you
- i am going to throw my backpack at you
- clinched fists
- no coping skills in this one-
- uncle adam talking him down
- he does not like me
- and this was the morning before school yesterday

afterwards i asked him to leave his shoes off in the car - so as if he decided to get mad i would just be kicked with socks and no shoe- you thought the world had come to and end-

and to top that off when we got home we spent 45 minutes outside because he did not want to come in- i was calm but stewing on the inside- got isaac and began to walk around the block- cause he was running from me with no shoes- I do not chase

- so isaac and i walked and prayed- i was calm but marcus throwing bark i think at me all the while ignoring- but stewing so - i kept walking with isaac and doing my coping skills:)
he finally gave in when he knew there would be no response- he was told to go upstairs and do his homework and I would discuss his behavior later

the reason behind all the ugliness- he did not like what I told him- accepting no is one of his expectations- in which was established before we left manatee palms-

just remember i am a mean mommy cause I do not want tantrums in the car and do not like being screamed at or threatened.

God is surely touching my son

My son- he amazes me at times- lately it's been those times- i know God is truly touching him more each day. How many of you can say your child is reading the Bible for their reading response journal- or seek out change on the ground for BGMC- or loves to pray - he amazes me and wants to see others be touched by Jesus- he loves being a servant and whatever asked to do (at church) he does it with a willing heart- Marcus over the last several weeks is changing- I believe it is the hand of God ministering to him-
He recently (last week) began reading the Bible -on his own and asking me if its ok- I said of course its ok- read away- so 1 week into reading it and he is on the book of Numbers- asking me questions as he goes- really like mommy why did God have to send the plagues to get the Pharaoh to listen?
I love it
He does not react the way he use to when he did not get his way or when I say no (only when he his tired the ugly comes out) we laugh more we talk more and it is so awesome to enjoy- we sit and watch football together-
He wants to be a missionary and I believe we will see it happen- he wants to help people-I told him you know you are a missionary right now at your school. We pray every morning to let our light shine for Jesus and God to use us where we are.

God has brought us so far in a year- I am truly blessed and as I sit and type this I have a smile on my face- just knowing my son is a special gift to me- wow God you chose me to be his mom and I am honored

Pictures Danielson 2011

My Isaac- I love love this photo
This is my joe cool son- Marcus- he is growing up too fast-

Another favorites- the day was beautiful- could not have asked for a better day!

sitting by a lake- there were these beautiful ducks there - I think ducks are cool - messy but neat to watch and talk too- yes I talk to the animals

Isaac turned 9 on November 26th

Oh my where did the 9 years go- he was so tiny when I brought him home- as big as my tennis shoe- now I think that is his head size- he has shown unconditional love- protection- been there when my world seemed to crumble. He is Marcus' first dog- I remember when they met Marcus was so afraid but Isaac just cuddled next to him to let him know it was ok. Isaac was not sure what was going on when Marcus began his rages- He was not sure where he went for so long- but welcomed him home with kisses each time-
Isaac was there when the nights seem long -he jumps on the bed makes sure i was ok and then lays at the top of the stairs to make sure no one harms us- he is protective-
He is a faithful furry friend- My big goofy dog that cocks his head is getting older and slowing down but sure is that companion when i cant sleep and he listens so intently ( more like really mom go back to sleep cause I was just fine )
Love you big Boo Bear Isaac

The Broken Chain- Missing you Mom

The Broken Chain
Author: Ron Tranmer
We little knew that day,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death, we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you.
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And although we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again

ok craziness

ok so I am studying for an exam that i have to take for work on the 12th of this month- plus work plus keep house- plus getting ready for Christmas- plus make sure Marcus is doing what he needs - what was i thinking taking the test before Christmas- I think just to be done and have it over-
we will keep pressing on with studying-
plus this month marcus is having a few teeth pulled -because his mouth needs to have them removed
today is work and then pictures witha a friend of loris I willpost some when I get them