Potpourri of thoughts

ok so I have kinda left you hanging with what has been going on around here-well on the 17th Marcus went back to the crisis unit and has been there ever since- oh I know I wrote about the familiversary but I was trying not to focus on what a stinky weekend it was and it was-

I have been biking and walking which has been good- blasting my ipod with songs of praise and worship

trying to occupy my mind even did some crafty things for the Christmas Tree ( and this was stretching me cause I am not crafty).

What have I been feeling- not so sure- I just know Marcus is there to get help and he is where he needs to be. Do I miss him- more then you could ever know- do I miss the aggression and anger and outbursts no not at all-

This past weekend was to be a time of celebration between our Family Anniversary through the weekend to our church's Thanksgiving Dinner (this was M and I's first holiday dinner 5 years ago) it is very dear to me- so much to say the weekend was an emotional one for me in which I was unable to spend these times with him- Ended up staying with the Tobias' which was helpful - although Adam can drive a person to craziness (LOL)

I am doing ok and appreciate all those that are concerned for me- even though this has been tough being apart from him for almost 20 days- God has given me opportunities once again-

As I prayed Thursday before I got the phone call from the Dr - I wanted wisdom and understanding and my prayer was for that as well as for him to be taken off all meds- I know I am crazy or just bring him off the majority-

I received the call from the Dr and he explained so much more then ever- everything I was seeing as far as behaviors he had seen with him and could explain what the causes of it could be- no exact science but more of an explanation- it gave me an understanding. He then told me they were taking him off all but 2 meds- I can not tell u how much of a relief and a comfort this was for me- they had to adjust them slightly since Thursday so it is still not exact science- of which I wish it was

Saturday was a little bit of an odd moment- Kris (Mr Madley- Marcus teacher) was able to visit him and Marcus was so excited he about knocked me over - of course he did get angry because he did not have his books and then was able to calm himself with the help of Kris- did I mention how awesome Lake Myrtle Staff is- yes I have but not in this blog- thanks Kris for visiting

Sunday was an interesting time- a piece of me was missing at church- I miss him when he is not there cause I so enjoy watching him sing during praise and worship

I went for the visit and talked with one of the technicians for a few minutes- it is pretty sad when they stop asking for your ID since they know you so well. Anyway- he was like the staff here has talked about you and I was like oh- We think you are awesome and how you handle Marcus- he loves you a lot. We enjoy you coming to visit him- I was like I like you all too but I really do not want to come back

It is funny though cause parents who have never been for a visit are like where are they? it is visiting time- and I say well there must be something going on in the back and they need to tend to it- they will be here and we will get our full time- I get strange looks- at least I can comfort others and show them the way-

I want him to be ok- and honestly that is all I want- unfortunately I was not there in the beginning of his life to prevent things that happened to him- however I am here now and will continue to let him know he is loved- that we care about him and NO ONE will ever hurt him again-I will keep being consistent- keep seeking help when needed-

Keep persevering so he can be successful