ok sometimes it is a struggle

relax.... it will be alright- ok i write like i think (right Gayle- atleast i capitalized your name) ok so i struggle at times- what is it- well i am working on it- i struggle with.... are you ready- i know this will be earth shattering- ok here it is-

of how i can chillax when dealing with Marcus- i know i know you all say its easy - well you know i have dealt with being on the edge or eggshells for so long its hard to switch to the thought of him not going off the edge or having what i now call a stress meltdown. i need to change thought process and the more i work with him and see how he responds to things the more i will relax and understand he will not have those moments- it will take time on my part-

learning not to lecture during escalation and allowing him to work through it-finding a place of comfort while he brings himself down- not being concerned with what they term junk behavior ( ok some of you do not say i told you so here ok)

so mom has work to do as well as Marcus-

he told his therapist what triggers moms' reactions- hmmm- manipulation- raise your hand if you told me this already- go ahead - i see you :)

we are striving ahead and learning each day- I do like his therapist- she is great and really has his best interest and mine at hand-

So I will learn as we come back together as a family how not to expect the worst- but expect the best- sometimes it may just be all in my expectations-