p 202- 204
Defiance or general acting out: use a normal voice tone devoid of pressure and inflection - try to keep voice neutral as possible but firm. Directives should be brief and to point. repeat once but do not elaborate or keep repeating. Following initial directive you may need to turn from the child and allow to self calm or stress break. As adults we tend to add more stress with raising voice or making threats for oppositional child to respond. This type of response will only increase resistance and will trigger a full blown stress episode ( all to well known in my world)
tears , pouting, crying: try not to react - use the above -recognize they are upset- give directive and do not elaborate. calm voice and low intensity show that you are not a threat
Demanding, hostile, nasty, oppositional: use response in defiance or acting out- neutral or non-intense tone of voice give immediate directive and let it be immediate. importance of keeping neutral tone so it will not trigger a stress meltdown. A stressed child needs to have immediate penalties for misbehavior.
Avoid debate ( working on this myself) give a choice when appropriate and encourage child to make right choice. give directive and repeat once if needed. give advisement of not following the directive or completing the task. then turn away and give the child time to self calm or take stress break- follow up in 5-10 minutes and repeat directive. If refusal occurs provide immediate consequence.
Use same neutral tone as always-an adult's anxiety and stress can trigger the child
In most things the response is the same- neutral tone- repeating once- and adults to remain calm- My thoughts- often times this is difficult but very important- this is why mentally and emotionally it is draining on the adult working with the child (my opinion)
Helpless or hopeless- time for positive and upbeat and encouraging directives- state your confidence in the child
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