The things you learn the hard way

Okay so I was a little hopeful in that Marcus would maintain his composure and attitude at prayer and pancakes but I was wrong- I was hoping the great behavior would continue on at IHOP at 1 in the morning but I was wrong.

So next time we have prayer and pancakes we will be leaving out the pancakes part and coming home.

So last night a group of Northsiders gathered at the church for prayer at 11 pm - call it crazy but my heart was reignited for missions in such a way it was only too be God- I love missions but there was something different when I prayed last night that just overwhelmed me with emotion - I think the chair I was at is soaked with tear stains- I mean I sobbed - and was just amazed with compassion for missions -

We always hear that God's heartbeat is for missions- and I believe that as well - but there are no words I can express for how my heart felt last night and early this morning.

I have been praying this week for India and the church building project and if 70 people at church would give $100 we could raise enough money to build a church- just 70 people . If we pull our resources together and allow God to stretch us a little just think of the magnitude that could be impacted. Not only in India but here in Tampa-

My heart is so full with anticipation for services tomorrow - I can sense God going to do a mighty work in our Northside Family.

My words and heart right now can not be expressed and I can not explain it but I know we serve an Awesome God and He was Awesome in that place last night and earlier this morning.

Children remember more then you could ever realize

This is a true story - just need to pray
A child told his friends at his before care he was going to shoot them because they were being bad. The mother of this child spoke with him and talked with him about what it means to shoot people and what could happen- she even showed a video of how sad friends and families are when their loved ones would get shot.
She asked him why would you say that - I just did- I did not mean it mommy- I would never do that. Saying it though we do not know if you would (there are no guns in the house). Where do you learn this or where did you see this or hear this- because she said this is not said in our home-
Not here mommy at the other home- he told me he would shoot me when I was bad- he had 3 guns 2 in his closet 1 in his dresser. His mom's heart sank- the child's eyes began to well- Honey she said what that man said or did to you will never happen again- I love you more then anything and will not allow anyone to hurt you. What if they find me - they will not- they do not know where you live she said. What if they come in the house- they will not - the dog will protect us- what if they come into my room- they won't I will not allow it she said- they will not take you from this home - I can promise you that-

Honey you are safe here- and you are not going anywhere-HUGS
Flash backs- memory returns- PTSD- when will things trigger it- who knows- memories bad memories- who is this story about Marcus and this was our conversation Thursday Night.

I told him he would be safe from the man- how can I protect his memory from bringing these things up- I wish I could take it all away- but I can not- I just can love him and reassure him and pray that the bad memories go away and only the good one stay.
Join me in prayer for this little young man of mine-

Kudos to the Middler Sunday School Class

If you read my blog you know I started to teach the 8-12 year olds and at first was unsure but it turns out I absolutely love it - the lessons are great and the kids seem to want to get into it as kids do at this age-
I have challenged them to memorize their memory verses each week and the one who does it gets a prize. I have alternative motives to this you know because the memory verses and the questions correspond to Bible Quiz- heehehe- and the majority of the kids are in bible quiz. Each week they are like that is a bible quiz question -yes yes it is and look you all got it right.
I do have to say there is one individual that is standing out in the memory verses memorization- and to me it is a surprise-a good one- because during normal bible quiz season she answered questions but now she has memorized all the verses since I have started teaching- I am very proud of her- she is going to make a good leader one day- I can see it in her- who you ask - Savanna Shrodes- yes I have seen her grow so much over the years since the Shrodes Family came to Northside- I am so very proud of her-KUDOS TO YOU SAVANNA KEEP MEMORIZING YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

It has been a week...

Let me catch you up to speed-
Monday- started my new position having no clue what I was doing plus all the added stuff I needed to do-
The day at work actually the week at work went pretty well- we have some bumps to work out but hey when you have 2 new people in management position and not knowing a lot in that facility learnign curves will take place.

Tuesday phone call from the teacher- Marcus hit a child in the face and will have a consequence at school (thank good ness)

Wednesday- Got a phone call from the school can you please pick up Marcus he was not behaving on the bus and was out of his sit when the bus was moving

Thursday- Mommy is starting to feel run down- not sure if I am coming down with something- I did get a phone call but I can not remember from what

Friday- mommy not feeling well coughing and have chest congestion- drop Marcus off at the Before Care- friend calls which her son goes there may want to call- I had to go pick him up - he was picking on girls and they did not like it - they asked him to stop- he would not - teacher spoke with him and he proceeded to call her big head and shut up- he ran through the facility- hitting the assistant director- I had to go pick him up fortunatley the bus comes there so I only missed an hour of work.
Get a phone call from school- Marcus no star day again this week-meltdown cause he missed 2 words on his reading ( the boy is reading on a 3rd grade level) he lost it would not go into TO for a few minutes to calm down- kicked the teacher
after care no problems- in the car I asked him about his day - he went wacko on my hitting the door kicking the door- throwing things at me while I am driving- thank goodness we we 2 minutes from home-meanwhile I am not feeling well
He continues to pitch a fit and talk back and tells me he does not want to etetc etc-
HE is in trouble this weekend and continues to tell me he does not want to do his consequences- my energy is drained from him and not feeling 100%
I am tired....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM

HOPE YOUR DAY IS GREAT MOM- HAPPY BIRTHDAY-

LOVE YOU!

Happy Belated Mother's Day

I hope you all had a wonderful day with your children- mine was pretty good- Marcus came in the my room first thing and said Happy Mothers Day- which for him is truly amazing because he is now just catching on to all thes holidays we celebrate

Sunday School was good- I am teaching the Middler Class and it is a fun change- These coming weeks we will be talking about the bible and the importance of it- how fitting when Pastor Larry and Deanna spoke on this for Sunday service. I can incorporate Bible Quiz in it and they can learn that as well since the majority of them in there are bible quizzers- they are actually memorizing the scriptures we discuss.

The last few days have been a little rough for me- My mind has been focused on work- sleep what is that - 2 am is when I have been going to sleep and waking up at 445- I finally last night got a good nights sleep and hoping for another one tonight- I received many encouraging words from my family at church yesteray regarding the changes at work and it seems to be helping- when I think about it voices from those who have encouraged me keep popping in- today was not too bad- we have decided to just take one thing at a time. That is all I can do cause I do not know a lot about the facility but I have caught on to a few things and each day will get better- just at an uncomfortable spot right now.

OKay so Mothers Day - We went out later after Brenda got off work and we went to Bonefish in Brandon- oh my goodness can you say yummy yummy- I had a pork chop that was so out of this world- okay it was probably so good cause I have been fasting but oh my- and the au gratin potatoes yum and the squash - yes I am trying new stuff even though I am not fasting- ( I will blog about what I have learned ). and then I was so stuffed from Caesar Salad and bread and egg rolls no dessert- but they brought Brenda and I a chocolate covered strawberry and oh my goodness I thought I went to heaven - the strawberry was huge I mean huge and then dipped in chocolate- I have not had chocolate in over 50 days - oh my- but I think I over stuffed - so today I went back to eating good in the morning and lunch- hey I lost 15 lbs on the fast I am not going back there.

So Marcus was so very cute he wanted to pay for my dinner- with $1.50 it was so sweet- I said thank you so much for buying my dinner that is the best thing ever. He was so proud to give Uncle Adam the money for my dinner.

He is coming along= we have a had a rough week not horribly rough and honestly I think it has been me more then him- just little things have rubbed me wrong -but I will get better-

Saturday we went to HomeDepot and we were getting out of the car and I slammed his finger in the door and it was locked - My heart sank- he started to pull- I said wait wait- and held his hand-I said be very very Brave- I need to unlock the door - stay still- he cried but when I asked him to stay very very still he did- I was able to get the door open and rub his finger and of course called Uncle Adam what do I do- ice and ibuprofen so that is what I did- you would think I would know that working with animals- I felt so horrible and he has been a trooper about it- his finger is a lovely shade of red and purple- so now he closes his own door.

Expect the Unexpected

Yesterday I got an email from the upper management saying they wanted to meet with me- well they were meeting with several people in 10 minute slots-well my night last night was very unnerving and with budget cuts and lay offs you never know what could happen.
So the first 2 went in and they were given there 6 month walking papers- eek- very tummy turning stuff. I am thinking okay- I was one of the lasts to go in so I am like oh no.
Well thankfully I actually have more stuff added on to what I am currently doing I will be assistant manager of one of the facilities while doing my vet rounds and also working with the surgical core. I am a little uneasy about the assisting managers position cause I have not been there before - things are really up in the air and all of this starts on Monday- not sure if I will be working weekends etc- hopefully not. or hopefully just Saturdays in the AM for 3 hours or so again up in the air- that is what I do not feel comfortable is the unknown- I know who I will be managing so that is not a big deal.
Just pray for this uneasiness to go away- I know it is not an obstacle but an opportunity- I know that- Pray the transition is smooth for our department

Thank you Lord for allowing me to keep my job - in this world of economic struggles you have allowed me to keep my job- I am truly blessed. Help me through this awkward time and help to focus on the positive things to come from it- In your name I pray Amen

My Devotion for Today and....

Where there is no vision, the people perish..." Proverbs 29:18 (King James Version)
"If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what He reveals, they are most blessed." (The Message)
So many meanings to the word dream: to think, imagine, have ideas. An internet search reveals over 200 millions sites related to that one word! People of renown have used the word to inspire and challenge: ?I have a dream' (Martin Luther King, Jr.);
"Nothing happens without a dream" (Carl Sandburg);
"Hold fast to dreams..." (Langston Hughes).
Of all people, followers of God should dream big because God is the reason for our dreaming. From the beginning of time it has been His plan that all people everywhere know of His great love.
He used and continues to use men and women and His creation to tell the story, and the ultimate message became His very Son.With God's goal in mind and His Holy Spirit to empower us, we can look at the needs of the world and dream about how God would want those needs met.
When God challenged Moses to lead the people out of Egypt, He asked, "What is that in your hand?" God had a dream and was ready to use Moses in the fulfillment of the dream, even when what he had in his hand looked like a mere stick of wood.We would do well to consistently look at what is in our "hands," consider God's vision for the world and then dream big about how He might use us.
We must constantly encourage our children and grandchildren along these same lines. Involve them early in projects where they see how their seemingly small efforts contribute to the fulfillment of God's dream, projects such as making sandwiches for the homeless, meeting missionaries, going on short-term mission trips and living out God's vision of love with the those around them, especially towards the un-lovely.When we open our eyes to God's dream?"what God is doing"?and then "attend to what He reveals"we will be blessed.



That was my devotion for today- I read it when I came home from church- What did Pastor speak of May the Lord...

Speaking of things deep down in our hearts that God has placed there- I have a few things deep down in my heart and they just will not go away- I am a shy person in respect- I know most of you reading this are laughing hysterically- so get up and keep reading- But that is no excuse of what God has really dug into my heart- I have shared some with people actually very few maybe not any- If I have please bear with me I am opening my heart and sharing- I can not let it go- I am going to keep pressing in until it comes to pass-


What is my dream-
In my heart of hearts - who would have ever thought my dream would be to speak to single parents and on single parenting ( I will be getting that chance as soon as I am ready - which is soon) There is such a need for single parents out there whether they are in the church or not- You know I chose to become a single parent why - because I love kids and I am so glad I am - I know where my strength comes from and I know where to go when I think I am failing and I just want to be able to share that- I know I am not the typical single parent but hey that is okay- I want to talk to people about how to raise children in a Godly way ( I am still learning) - that it is okay to ask for help ( I have learned this and still am learning- some at church know my look of help and they jump in) that you struggle financially but God always seems to come through- and the list goes on- I have so much running in my head I just need to write it down.

My other dream is deep in my heart and has starting to come out - is my dream to help meet needs of parents - families with special needs children- where to turn for doctors - where to turn for respite care- how to seek out Godly advice- is medication a need of my child- how to work through the difficult times whether you are married or single-knowing you are not alone- Knowing where to find behavioral specialists- knowing what to do if this should happen- what if the childcare my child is at does not accommodate what to do?


Here are just a few of the many needs children and adults have but my focus is children- I am no expert by any means I just know I live it daily with a child.

Why are these my dreams- because I live it daily and know how hard it is at times- but I serve a God and if He wants me to be a minister in these areas how can I say no- this dream has been building for over a year and more they ever I want it to come to pass-

God knows what type of person I am and I truly believe He knew Marcus was the perfect one for me- I set out on my goals and dreams and accomplish them- through all of which are from God's guidance. I believe if Marcus was not my son I would never know what single parents go through and those family's with special needs go through. I am truly blessed- No it is not easy but again the fact I serve a loving and caring God is truly so wonderful.

He is not finished with me yet- He knows the plans He has for me- I look back on my life and every goal or dream that I ever had has come through with God's guidance and direction.
Oh I still have one dream left on hold and it may always be on hold and I am perfectly fine with it -what you ask oh some of you may guess- correctly-

Looking back:
When I was young I wanted to work with animals-guess what I am have been since high school- have a degree for it- so it will be almost 20 years since I began this passion
When I was in tech school I dreamed of working in research- but had no idea of how to get started with living in Venice with no universities- well God worked it all out 4 years ago and my dream has come true
When I was 27 I wanted to go back and finish the dream of getting my Bachelors in biology but that meant leaving my comfort zone and moving to Tampa that was 10 years ago this month - I got my degree in 2002 and never looked back-
When I was 33 I had a dream of having a child- how adopting one- in November 2005 It happened and he was exactly what I prayed for - do you know that I prayed for a boy me personally no one else knew but me and God- between the ages of 3-5 (he was 4)
I could go on but dreams come true- keep pressing in to him and he will fulfill your dreams I know he has mine and he keeps giving me more after each one has been fulfilled. He is amazing.

More thoughts of this flow over in my head and heart

Church Work Day

Even though we spent many hours at church - I would not change it for the world- it was nice adult talking time and Marcus was spectacular- he worked so hard and I was so proud of him-

Marcus worked ever so hard on raking the leaves of the church and when I was tuckered out he wanted to finish it until it was done- he outlasted the adults-

He raked and dragged the bucket to the pile and dumped it (with the help of adults) but at the end he was pretty much doing it himself. He worked so hard and I was so proud-

It was nice working with the ladies and just chit chatting while we pulled weeds for 6 hours

- I am telling you that one island was so full but we got it accomplished and I think we all were so glad. It was a beautiful day- sometimes a little hot but not too bad- there was little bit of a breeze and the sun went behind the clouds a little but still sunny and bright - needless to say I am a little bit pink- I should tan by Monday - I get that from my dad- plus I am trying to catch up with being brown like Marcus ( LOL)

Tomorrow I start teaching the 8-12 year old class this should be interesting- I keep reading the lesson and thinking how I am I going to switch my way of teaching- I have been teaching the youth for over 2 and half years and know there quirks and I do love teaching them but we are trying something new and it is okay - a fresh face for them will be good-fresh kids for me will be good- this should be interesting.

Friday a day off-

Well today is Friday and I was able to sleep in- Marcus is off school and I decided to take the day off as well-

I am taking Isaac to the vet so I can clean his teeth- he has an abcess that I have had him on antibioitcs for-

(he is not 2 anymore he is 5 and half)

(not Isaac's teeth)

seems a little better but want to look at it a little closer- and yes I said I will be cleaning his teeth- the perks of being a certified vet tech. and the fact I have a great vet that I use to work with /for. None of my animals have been under anesthesia without me and if he would have said no I could not it would have been okay I trust the vet that sees Isaac and the techs there. Shoot I think I hired several of them.

So I got the color I wanted to paint the accent wall in my living room and started working on that last night- was up till about 12 or so- just cutting in - taking the banister off the wall so I could paint - the real job will be today when I finish it will not take long at all.

I love home improvement- my next task will be stripping the banister and staining it- I want it to coincide with the floors or as close to it as I can.

Well since Tuesday when I wrote yippee level 3 Marcus has been a pistol at home- very mouthy- talking back and lying- talking baby talk etc- why maybe the change to riding the bus and back at the kids r kids- his schedule is a little different- change for him still does not sit well even though we talk about it before hand- (thanks for the reminder Adam)

Marcus did also tell me that he was a little nervous that I would not pick him up - I said I would be there and if I am running late I will call so you know I am okay- I was able to meet him at the bus yesterday.