Tools for Positive Parenting - Series (1)

This information came from a training manual that I was taught- from the Power of Positive Parenting Glen Latham
Behavior can be defined as anything a person does that can be observed and measured.

"Junk" Behavior- (this is where I struggle at times- but working on working with my son)- any age-typical behavior that may be annoying, but not harmful to self, others, property, or animals. Examples- whining- stomping feet, mumbling, rolling eyes

Why does junk behavior happen?- to get us parents to respond or react, make you angry or get even, to give in, to get you to comfort them, make you go away, to get you to do it for them, because it is just what they do at their age.

Positive Attention-is the most powerful consequence available to you.

Proactive Approach-
Show child which behavior they like by reinforcing it- recognize inappropriate behavior as a need to teach appropriate behavior (do it this way)-establish them self as a safe person to be around-maintain self control-have a plan- practice tools for positive change

Reactive Approach-
look what child is doing wrong and try to weaken the behavior-recognize negative behavior as need to teach a child a lesson-establish themselves as unsafe persons to be around- allowing caregiving to control their moods-do not have a plan- do not practice tools for positive behavior

Stop Coercion- 12 kinds
questioning-arguing-sarcasm-force-threats-criticism-despair-logic-telling them on others-taking away privileges-one up-silent treatment

Results of Coercion-
try to avoid coercive behavior-try to get even-try to escape-learn coercive behavior-become afraid they will fail-receive attention for in appropriate behavior

Coercion produces only short term compliance followed by long term problems

Proactive Care giving-
must be tailored for each child
what works for one child does not always work for another
what works for one child today may not work with that same child tomorrow

is a journey not a destination

5 tips about behavior:
Your job;
create the most positive environment possible
change the environment and you will change the behavior
identify the behavior you want to strengthen and deliver the appropriate consequences
identify the behavior you want to weaken and withhold the appropriate consequences
provide positive consequences
be patient and consistent. wait 2 weeks and see record behavior- if it works keep it up if not go back to tools and see what to do differently
remember past experience-best predictor of future behavior

Tools-
Stay Close
Use Reinforcement
Pivot
Redirect- Use Reinforcement
Set Expectations
Use a Contract
Use Time Out
Asses Behavior