I mentioned Stay Close yesterday - so lets go into a little more detail on what this means
-this is the foundation for proactive caregiving
You create a safe, positive environment and establish yourself as a source of caring, empathy, and reinforcement
Stay Close Means:
showing you care
being attentive
listening
"just" talking
matching emotions
being near
touching
Stay Close does not mean:
lecturing
setting the record straight
moralizing
being judgemental
problem solving
Benefits:
you will learn about your child-what they value-likes dislikes
you will have a greater interest in their activities
you will build a foundation for a good relationship
children will care about what you say-your approval and disapproval will be important because you are important to them
children will learn good communication skills
children will listen to your expectations and advice because you are listening to them
When to stay close
routine times during the day- meal times- driving
brief moments between other things
special times you are spending just with them
when you are upset with them or someone else after you calm down
when they are upset with you or someone else
during traumatic event
almost every chance you get to interact with child
The closer you are to children the greater influence you have on them
How to stay close-
get physically close
touch appropriately
match facial expressions
use appropriate tone of voice
use relaxed body language
ask open ended , positive questions
listen while the child speaks
use empathy statements
avoid reacting to junk behavior
stay cool through the whole process
Unless what you are about to say or do has a high probability of making things better, don't say it and don't do it- Latham
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