Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Series (2) Positive Parenting Tools- Staying Close

I mentioned Stay Close yesterday - so lets go into a little more detail on what this means
-this is the foundation for proactive caregiving

You create a safe, positive environment and establish yourself as a source of caring, empathy, and reinforcement

Stay Close Means:
showing you care
being attentive
listening
"just" talking
matching emotions
being near
touching

Stay Close does not mean:
lecturing
setting the record straight
moralizing
being judgemental
problem solving

Benefits:
you will learn about your child-what they value-likes dislikes
you will have a greater interest in their activities
you will build a foundation for a good relationship
children will care about what you say-your approval and disapproval will be important because you are important to them
children will learn good communication skills
children will listen to your expectations and advice because you are listening to them

When to stay close
routine times during the day- meal times- driving
brief moments between other things
special times you are spending just with them
when you are upset with them or someone else after you calm down
when they are upset with you or someone else
during traumatic event
almost every chance you get to interact with child

The closer you are to children the greater influence you have on them

How to stay close-
get physically close
touch appropriately
match facial expressions
use appropriate tone of voice
use relaxed body language
ask open ended , positive questions
listen while the child speaks
use empathy statements
avoid reacting to junk behavior
stay cool through the whole process

Unless what you are about to say or do has a high probability of making things better, don't say it and don't do it- Latham

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