Monday, October 26, 2009

New day same story

I know my blogs have not been the most up beat lately-and let me say I apologize -I try to be positive in every avenue of life and want what God has for me- and yet the past month is taking a toll- now it is taking a real toll- I try my hardest not to and yet I am just so tired - physically and mentally drained on a daily basis- I wish I had a little scope to go inside his brain and see what is going on- I wish I could fix him like that- I am ready for God to completely heal him-I have learned a lot over the past 4 and half years and right now I am truly at a loss of what to do with him-

The I do not wants toos- the I do not cares- the refusal to do things- i can understand if it was just at home and it was a me thing - however it is at school- church and home-at others houses
I continually question myself of how I can do things different- so I try new ways and guess what it is the same response as above- he also gets angry and throws a meltdown too-
I keep persevering I keep trying I keep standing and yet I feel like my knees are about to crumble and not allow me to stand anymore.

And yet again I hear the same song everytime when I first I get in the car- I will rise by Chris Tomlin-
I will not give up- I will not give up- may need to call on some friends more often so I can have down time for me- it is a needed with any parent- single parent- and especially a special needs parent

Pressing on - Pressing through-

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