So much to continue to learn

Over the past 3+ years I have learned so much and yet have so much to learn- I tried something this week in disciplining Marcus ( wise man instructed me) and you know what it worked go figure- less volatile behaviors - I was holding on to Marcus' past regarding this and should have moved forward- I know this blog does not make sense but it does to me and probably to others who read it that know us so so well.
I was not too sure how he would react - he did act with a little explosiveness but as the week progressed he knew it was coming and got it done and over with.
This week was my week to learn and get past the past and not be afraid to use techniques- that for him actually work.
Marcus is learning that he will not always get what he wants - ask me about dinner Wednesday night- or the bike riding or the hot tub- he made that were not acceptable and was told if you choose this then this will not happen.
I have to be on my toes all the time and at times it gets tiring - but God gives me strength- grace- wisdom( I need this the most ) and guidance (so important too)
I have to stop and think before handling each situation so I handle it probably without explosions occurring - yes I am constantly learning yet hopeful this time will soon pass and his past will begin to melt away from him quickly and he will be able to catch up socially to an 8 year old.
I am hopeful and this week has helped me to see how wonderful God is and how He gives us wisdom through ALL situations.

2 year old tantrums

So we have discovered that Marcus is socially/emotionally a 2 year old-so my question I keep asking myself is how do I deal with it- A very intelligent almost 8 year old with the emotions of a 2 year old


A normal 2 year old usually engulfs loving relationships give young children a sense of comfort, safety, confidence,and encouragement. Nurturing connections teach toddlers how to form
friendships, how to communicate emotions, and how to deal with challenges. Supportive relationships with parents, adults, and friends also help children develop trust, empathy, compassion, and a sense of right and wrong (a conscience).
They have little self-control, which means they not very good at waiting and also have a hard time stopping themselves from acting on their desires. This means that, developmentally, young children struggle with following rules—especially those around sharing. ( all of which at this age he was in the foster home from which I adopted this is when he went into the home at age 2)


Does anyone see a resemblance? hmmm

SO I have to back up a little again- daily it is tiring- this week not so bad as far as being tired - I know I have a lot of people praying for us and so appreciate it- My prayer is simple wisdom and guidance in my words and actions to help guide him

Lake Myrtle Elementary

I love the staff there- Marcus school- to me there are top notch-Today I got an email from the SRO and she said if I needed anything to contact her- she even gave me her cell phone number. The teachers and staff are very supportative and have a true concern for me as well as for Marcus- God surely provided a wonderful school

the last few days

Well the last few days-have been long but not too bad- Saturday was JBQ finals- our team did fairly well- Marcus I believe answered in every round and positive quizzed out in 2 rounds. He did well and behaved well- we took the scenic ride home because they moved the mall we were going to go to for lunch-ended up eating at Wendy's after a minor to medium meltdown.
Does anyone know how to deal with a 2 year old in an 8 year old's body please let me know - I am serious here.
We came home and the Tobias' took me out for a belated B-day celebration- and we went to Channelside afterwards for ice cream - yum- came home and fell asleep hard.
Went to church Sunday- great service- came home afterwards and slept- needed the rest- you see it does get exhausting trying to stay on your toes when you deal with a child with a mental disorder-
Just when you think you hit bottom- God gives you the rest you need in the comfort of family and friends they are there to lift you up and allow you to cry on their shoulder or yell at God- they do not judge you but allow you to rant and rave until you get your breakthrough-
My days are a day to day process and as Adam tell me all the time celebrate the small victories- so I try to do that daily.

Do you really know?

I know - I know what it feels like- you ask what are you talking about- I know what it feels like not to have control of a situation and not know what to do - you try everything and yet it still does not change- you pray and it still does not change- so what to you do- keep praying keep fighting the fight and know you are not alone- Stand firm in what you believe- let people help you anyway they need to or can-
I said when I adopted Marcus it will take a village to help me raise this child- and wow those words are so true- from those who simply lift us up in prayer - I can feel the difference- the weight of the world feels a little less heavy- oh the issues are still there- but knowing there is a family of love and support and prayer warriors means so much.
I know I have not written much lately but just have had songs listed- well those songs are what I have been feeling- God is truly there- I was asking God well yelling God where are you in all this - cause I really did not know anymore-and if I am truly honest with you I am still wondering what He has planned for us. I know this time when Marcus had to go for help for a couple of days- I was not so distraught- why cause that is where he needed to be- or when I had Adam, Brenda, Sarah, and my sister Lori go with me - I could have done it alone but did not need to cause they said they would do whatever to help us.
We know have a plan as far as treatment for him - nothing wishy washy anymore-he was told point blank that the abuse he was doing to mommy was not ok and it will not continue- that coming from the Dr at Baycare. fabulous they are. oh yes I said abuse- some - actually many of you have no idea what I have been through- I will share with you if you ask-but not here.
ok so the plan- he will be evaluated by a psychologist again- he will see a neurologist to rule out anything else that may be occurring- and we changed his meds -we will be implementing a plan for wherever he goes and it needs to be followed for a positive outcome-
We are taking steps however I am still believing for a miraculous change- It is a March for miracles- they can happen I truly believe.

I lift my eyes

I need you Jesus - yes it is the same as Saturday

I need God to do a miracle- yesterday was my birthday and I did not even get to have a quiet calm birthday - in fact I will be honest with you it was probably the worst birthday ever. No celebration no bday cake no nothing- well yes I got something- I got wore out again- Marcus decided he would much rather not behave then come home- My question is the same as yesterday as I broke down: When is it going to end and Where is God in all this?

Not that uplifting of a blog I know but it is how I am feeling so I need Jesus to come to my rescue- not sure if many really understand the degree of what I am going through but let me just say I am very weak and for me to say that means it is hard- cause I consider myself pretty strong in all circumstances but this has really started to affect me over the last several months- when you do not know when or where the volatile behavior will occur- or what sets it off it becomes daunting and makes a person grow very weary - so again I need you Jesus com eto my rescue