Thursday, June 2, 2016

But God....

The title says it all- the reason why I am telling you all this is all because of God. Let me back up to February 2015 - and yes I asked Marcus' permission to tell our story of the last year.

So lets take it back over a year ago.
Marcus was beginning to spiral out of control in anger -defiance - oppositional defiance- suffering from PTSD and not really dealing with 7th grade bullies as he should have sooner. We began or he began attending group therapy in Clearwater 3 days a week for 3 hours at a time- for 6 weeks- well in the course of 6 weeks going. he got out of it good snacks and in the course of this time frame. 

 During that time frame he got angry at me one night- i was at a board meeting and he decided to curse out his uncle and stay outside at the church- well little did we know he carved his name over 3 times in 3 different spots with hearts and all on my brand new car- vandalism over 1000 dollars in damage- the police were called- they said he could be arrested but because of the juvenile system i would have to come get him- if i did not it would be a charge of neglect for me, oh my word- so to this day he still is paying me back for the damage- anytime he gets money I get half until its paid off.

 a few weeks later a day before my birthday he was baker acted why.....

well he was shutting down at the house- he would not talk he would not communicate he even locked himself in the bathroom- his coach- mentor - tpd officer- came by just to check on him. he would not talk with him either. and who knew what he was doing in there so i had to call 911- yes i had to call 911 on my son. I gave Marcus a chance to say he needed to go. I even spoke with the sheriff officer and briefed her on the history of Marcus. She did not listen well to me- Even Marcus' coach spoke to her professionally and said it would be best if you listened to his mom. nope- she went upstairs and spoke with him he said he would go- in the course of all this his uncle and aunt showed up- he said he was not going and in the kitchen on the floor he told his uncle he would go- i was going to drive him. Marcus had tennis shoes on- i should have suspected something. not even 2 seconds out the door he took off running. The sheriff officer did too and his coach heard her call for back up- meanwhile coach and uncle took off looking for him. Aunt and i stood by the house listening- siren after siren came. 8 or 9 sheriff cars came one k-9 unit. to search for a 14 year old on the run. Fortunately he ran into uncle and coach before the sheriff got a hold of him. BUT GOD.... you see Marcus a 14 year old African American teenager on the run- a day before a teen ager was shot because he was on the run- I am thankful his coach and uncle were there. He is coach was the one who handcuffed him- he told me later that was the hardest thing he has had to do- Marcus and I are like family to him. He was placed in the back of a sheriff car and the female officer who came - told me he was now being baker acted - she said it as she was huffing and puffing for air. Hey I forwarned her.

He was there a week- stabilizing out- He did ok- but still not right- that was beginning of March-

He lost his privileges - and was working towards earning things back- however something was not quite right.

May 20th my world crumbled once again- i was never the same from this day forward. what happened that day changed our world for 6 months- he had lost his phone usage at night for a while and new it. every night i would get it- but this night something triggered and out of explosion Marcus- he came unglued and cornered me upstairs demanding his phone- i tried to get in my room but he would not allow it- he jumped on my back upstairs i got him off and he proceeded to go downstairs where he proceeded to do it again- i called his coach he was coming over i needed help- (we had just left him at Tijuana flats). he was holding me from behind- i called 911 again as he was attacking me- he bit my wrist ( i ended up having bruises on my arm, bite mark and a sprained wrist). You asked how can this be - sweet Marcus- oh yes but anger and aggression and adrenaline comes out. he snapped he admitted it later. I had to elbow him to get off in which he landed on the ground - meanwhile yelling abuse- all while 911 stayed on the phone mostly (thank you Sprint.... Not- it dropped the call several times)
Coach showed up - Marcus locked himself in the house- i locked myself int he car- stayed there until Sheriff showed up- Marcus came out yelling she hit me- i said yes i did to get him off my back- 
they said young man we will talk to you in a minute go inside- they took pictures of my bite marks- coach spoke with sheriff again- they saw the car as i had not had it fixed as of yet.
they went inside and spoke with him- they came out and handcuffed him and placed him in the back of the car. this time not going to the crisis center but to juvenile detention and the pasco jail. yes i sent my son to jail- he was charged with domestic battery and was placed on probation- he stayed the night in jail. 
I had to pick him up I was like are you kidding he just came after me- they are like yes- i was like oh my word- thankful his uncle went with me as i did not want to be alone with my own son.
BUT GOD... there is a place called the RAP house in New Port Richey- Short term no more then a month for run aways and those charged with domestic battery. Well, God intervened - as we waited for the next step - Residential once again- breaking my heart through all of this - of God I can not handle this anymore- AS God said you trusted me before when he went trust me again. Marcus was not at the RAP house 1 month but 3 months. They said they would work with us as i was involved with all aspects of his therapy and that the situation was unique-
Probation for him was a joke- he was lucky- I had to tell the probation officer he waited to the last minute to get all his stuff done- and they did not even read his essays- oh my now i know how the system works.
He was at the RAP house- until August 2015. of which he was able to get approved for Residential and because I had called and visited the place and he had been there before admissions bumped him up from 3rd on the list to 1st BUT God... he would not have gone until October- 
August to November 2015- he was in residential once again- God intervened on several occasions- from getting him in there to having an amazing christian counselor that saw through Marcus- saw how much he loved me and i loved him- how much disrespect he had shown me and said he needed to fly right- She was African American- she told him straight up this lady loves you so much and you are messing this up. We talked about God in the sessions , Marcus began reading his bible again- he set the example there. Our sessions were not always easy- i ended a few of them early as we were not getting anywhere- ( I drove each week to sessions to bradenton - oh yes he was 80 miles away from me)
3 months into the program he was done he was showing no aggression at home visits and there was nothing they could do more for him- i was like very reluctant to bring him home- it was 6 months since he was home and when he left it was on an aggressive behavior after me.
BUT GOD... he came home and has been a different child - he came home November 20th- 2 days after we would have celebrated our 10 year familiversary. 10 years ago this boy came into my life- God knew his past he knew we needed each other- He knew what the obstacles would be.
BUT GOD... has a plan - Marcus is on honor roll- striving for straight As not me but him doing it- he does devotionals on his own- we talk a lot- we play catch with the football and he opens up- yes I play catch with my son and love it- He is playing football for school - doing well with it- oh he is a typical young man and can be a typical obnoxious teenager BUT GoD..

He has been flexible during sometime this past month when I was working through somethings on me- he cares so much and wants me to be ok- I had to got to the ER about 3 weeks ago- he was very concerned- got me a card in which it made me cry- he has a tender heart a servants heart

We recently were discharged from weekly therapy and he said he wanted to continue therapy monthly just to be proactive- his therapist said we are done he has it you have it-you all are an amazing family- I say BUT GOD... if He had not been in it all where would we be today-

He placed the people in our lives for such a time- he mapped it all out- did i know it then oh my no - now i do now i see it.
Marcus is a gift in which I treasure- he makes me laugh he makes me a better mom- a better person. he can be a challenge but he is worth it.
If you can touch the life of one you will touch the life of many.

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