Happy Easter

did not realize my eyes were slightly closed- although this is a much better picture since Adam cut off my head in the first one- he was trying to be funny-

so today was a day of reflection for me and lots of discussion for Marcus

you know you get use to traditions and such and when things change it is hard - this is the 2nd Easter without mom so -I fumbled a little bit with dinner making and such- we would go to one of our houses and she would cook the whole thing- Lori's family was down with dad this weekend- so they had Easter together

Marcus is very into asking questions and really understanding what the word of God says- somethings I have no idea so I will be pointing him to his youth pastor's direction- get ready Dustin I am sending him your way soon.
Marcus just wants to know everything in the Bible and understand it all- he questions why everyone does not have Jesus in their heart and how people can not Trust God. Today we got into a discussion about being obedient to what God is calling him to do at school- he said he knows he is suppose to ask his friends if they know Jesus but has not yet- or he knows he is suppose to ask them to church but has not- I said if God is speaking to you about asking then be obedient and ask- you can not make them go but you can be obedient to what God asks you to do- we talked about fasting and the importance of it and he has an understanding of it- and will be praying for his friends during the times he would be playing on his nook- I am proud of him cause he is on that thing every night.

I told someone today - how did I get so lucky with having him- I was told it was not luck- it was a lot of hard work and a lot of love- this is true plus lots of tears- and not knowing what was next and sometimes down right scared. as this person said I love his servant's heart- I do to- I am so glad he loves to serve in whatever he is asked to do. he amazes me- I think I have done well as a single parent not knowing what I was doing 8 years ago ( and at times still do not) and what I got myself into- I did not do it alone- it was by God's grace, strength and love that got me through and a whole lot of prayer and friends and family support

We keep moving forward and see what God has for us for we know He has a plan

week in review-

ok so - last Saturday we had our first meet- here are a couple of pictures thanks to Rachel Rice-

Pretty awesome huh-
We have been on spring break the last week- ok I have worked a short week and Marcus has been on spring break- right now he is at Papaw's house- probably doing everything I did not ask him to do- wait til I see him tomorrow - LOL
I love telling our story- we told it last night at track practice to one of the mom's - yes I was there and had no child there- she was like wow he is a leader now and I would have never known- I was like good- very good.
I am working on a project now to help other parents who might be going through the same thing- hopefully to get it going by May- and will include Marcus in it if he would like-
Tuesday we just hung out and talked at lunch and he talked about what he wanted to do as he got older and asked if i thought he could do it- I said yep anything you put your mind too and keep going and not give up you can accomplish.
I had the 2 boys Tuesday night- oh my word- they are good kids but still omw. Again I say 1 is enough :)

Wednesday - dropped the boys off with dad and its been a quiet week- kinda weird when he is not around.
This afternoon is for me- can not wait to get out of work and do something for me- not sure quite what it is yet-

Happy Good Friday- remember God loves you so much that he sent His son to die on a cross for you.

continous of reignite

so i have been thinking a lot today about how i had just left my parents you are not alone blog - literally left it a lone- maybe realizing that marcus was all good and just did not have anything additional to write- but i do - i have lots to write to those parents out there that think that there is no hope for their behaviorally challenged children. there is hope i can assure you- so hang on parents my blog is coming back better then ever- it will have what i wrote previously on there but it will be new and improved

why does the blog to parents mean so much - because God gave me a gift that forever has changed my life- its not just about adopting a child who needs a loving home- it is so much more to that-
its about a child - biological or adoptive - or grandparent raising, and the list goes on, who is given a chance to live whole, complete in who he/she is, behavioral challenges and all.
i took this journey of becoming a mom to give a forever family to a child who did not have one, but i got so much more from this journey then i could ever imagine. time to share that journey and let others know that there is more to the behavior challenges of a child there is hope when there seems to be no hope and more importantly that the life we live we are never living it alone.

reignited

ok well the last month i have been in main service at church- for those of you who know me i normally am in children's church but felt that God was telling me to be in main service for the month of March- well i am glad i have been in there- i knew for one specific reason but did not know the rest until today-
the one specific reason to worship with my son- i love that time together-he is amazing -

 this little note has nothing to do with the reignited but it does have to do with marcus- we got a bite to eat after the track meet yesterday and i was so hungry i began to eat before we prayed- and i was like God forgive me and said it out loud - marcus' did not skip a beat his reply to me was its ok mom God forgives you he always will we just have to ask.

the other reason was to hear from Him- been struggling with something (today it just consumed me for a time) but thankful for friends who speak into my life and telling me what i need to hear and not what i want to hear. well during service a passion of mine was reignited with God saying hello- its not over

i was like what - you know your parents are not alone- the one thing i placed in your heart when you were struggling with marcus- and did not know what to do except reach out to others- well duh ( yes God speaks to me this way) hello there are parents who are still struggling with behavior challenged children and they need you to help them realize there is hope. this is your story-

my story - our story- an adoptive mom- who chose to dig in and not give up- to change a life - to keep pressing on when i could not press no more- to allow God to work in a child's life that was doomed for disaster- to see my son's life change before my eyes- to keep pouring into him and trusting God through the process- to see marcus want to tell others about Jesus and has a calling on his life- thank you for friends who remind me of my story our story

to allow God to use our story to give hope to others to know they are not alone in the struggles with behaviorally challenged children.

i am not sure what it all will entail i just know i want to help others and let them know they are not alone and be able to speak into their lives- God show us - show me

follow up to the steps it took

well- so proud of Marcus - he did his speech today and the teacher asked him to do to it for the school- is that cool or what-

so proud that he chose this topic to talk about - i think it is important and always have that he knew he was adopted- i think it is important to be honest with him when he asks questions- i have told him when he turns 18 and still wants to seek out his biological mom we will together-
we talk about from time to time why should could not care for him- and he does asks questions about his biological dad in which i can not answer because they do not know who that is

i tell him we may not know who your biological dad is but we do know who the best dad is - he always says God- yep he will never leave you and will always be there to guide you

i truly believe God will use Marcus in a powerful way- God has a plan and a purpose for him- i have learned so much from adopting him and learn so much everyday from him-

i truly am blessed

i look back in the last 8 years and stand amazed - we have been through so much and in it all God had His hand upon it-
literally right now i sit and smile - we have met so many wonderful people on the adventure as a family- and i still contact them to let them know how he is doing- they played a significant role in his life and forever i am thankful.

i am so proud that he is able to speak on the topic of being adopted- he is truly a gift

the steps it took to adopt

you know sometimes it is harder to adopt then having your child naturally- WHAT? i know right- well Marcus is finding out this week what it took for me to adopt him and the process it took-

why? because he is doing a speech on it for school- so proud of him-

he is like why did you have to have a background check and what is that? why did they have to come see  your house? what is a home study? all of which i was able to explain to him-

why did you have to take a class? well because many children have issues and they want you to be prepared. oh like me - were you prepared? no not as much as i would have liked- but it all worked out- yes it did it did indeed.

so he has to go over it a couple times tonight cause he is doing it tomorrow- :)

beaming

i smile on the inside and sometimes on the outside knowing how far and what we have accomplished- marcus is a pleasure to parent ( yes can you believe i am saying that ) we have come full circle-
he is on the honor roll- has a servants heart- wants to be a student leader in youth and now on his own is is helping to lead the track team with the younger kids.
he has changed his thinking on practice and working hard this year.
he is such a big help at home- and rarely has to be asked to do his chores-

we laugh a lot - a lot a lot-

we enjoy bike riding together ( and now he keeps up with me) we talk a lot - love that he communicates much better. and we have an open line of communication. he writes his feelings down in a journal and shares them with me.

how blessed i am-

he makes me laugh at is craziness ( he gets that from me ....) he is sarcastic just like me and has a heart of compassion-

he is now doing 7th grade math- wow who would have thought- he is reaching into one of his friends life and asking him to church and walks home with him- (he lives behind us)

who would have thought?
God did that's who- he knew the plans he had for Marcus way before ...

                                                                                                Photo courtesy of Kenneth Jensen

single parenting

i know i am not the only single parent out there- and i know i only have one child- so my life is not as difficult as others who have multiple children and are single parents-
i get that -
for me - right now parenting marcus is not that hard just normal kid/tween stuff which i am truly grateful- for me right now its the everyday tasks that seem daunting-
work- help M with homework get meals together- and make dinner- track practice 3 times a week- church and responsibilities there- plus appointments for him and me-

sometimes you just wish you had someone to do the running around for you- its tiring- if you need to go to the school for some reason its you not anyone else- its you who gets the call if he is sick its you who has to run him to the orthodontist on one side of town and then run to his drs appt on the other side. its you who has to run to the store to pick up things for a project or to talk things over about different areas. its you you you oh i know this is a choice i made - i made the choice to become a single mom- it is just tiring at times-

i love being a mom don't get me wrong - he is a joy and a delight and so glad i did not give up on him- he is a lot of fun- so smart - such a servant- and he wants to spend so much time with me- i am glad of that but sometimes i just need space and adult time- anyone get it?

single parenting is not for the faint at heart and it takes so much strength to be one- so proud of all of you who are single parents- keep going you can do it

A gift to me...

This is one of my favorite gifts I got yesterday!
Dear mommy,
I want to wish you a happy 42nd birthday. I love you will all my heart more then the sun and the stars in the sky. You love and care for me all the time and I just want to thank you for everything you have done to change my life. You encourage me in soccer and track and you will be the loudest cheering me on the sideline.You never quit ...at all and you stayed with me through all the struggles I've had. You still loved me no matter what I did. I love you mommy
Sincerely,
Marcus John Danielson

just a reference to the I love you more then the stars... I would sing that and write that to him when he was in the crisis units or when he was in the residential facilities- how precious this letter is to me

 

I look back and think to myself how precious life is and how truly blessed I am to have Marcus as my son

 

I have learned so much and he has taught me so much. From how truly it is to love unconditionally no matter what to the fact there are people out there that need love and consistency and they will go far.

 

Marcus is on the honor roll, no behavior issues, is taking a student leadership role in youth at church,

He wants others to know that with love, grace and hope your life can be changed- not just the love of a mother but also the love of God- I know our God is Big seen it for my own eyes-

 

Love that boy and blessed beyond all measure to be his mom