do you ever..

wonder what your kids are thinking? do ever wonder if you make the right decisions about things- do you ever wonder what your kids will do when they get older- i do a lot however i am learning one thing day after day.
God has it in His hands- although at times I pick it up and try to handle it all on my own- why who knows- its a me thing and I am working on it - i remind myself to let God handle it - He's got it and when he's got it - it is a good thing

I am preparing to depart for a trip in which as I prepare there is so much to make sure I have covered-
who to watch Marcus- who to watch the dog- how Marcus will get to and from school and soccer game and who will cover my class and what needs to be done before I leave work- getting the house in order -making sure the other animals are taking care of- packing for me preparing for marcus-making sure things are covered for Lifegroups, and the list goes on.

do you ever wonder how much more you can put on your plate before exploding- well not exploding- but a little rupture- I love being busy and doing things that I love- don't get me wrong however organizing is the key at a time it just seems helter skelter- so i am working on being more organized taking time for me etc-

one of the things i did this week for me was hanging with some friends tuesday night- oh my word i laughed so hard my insides hurt- it was a good thing a very good thing- laughter is the best medicine -and so glad i was able to take the time and spend it with those special friends-
so take some time to laugh this week take time to stop and smell the flowers- take a moment for you rejuvenate yourself so you can continue to do the things you love

In honor of

My Aunt

Why- she is fighting breast cancer and she will win-I believe- this is my Aunt Cheryl and my Uncle Dave- they live in Wyoming- the past year for them has been a bit unnerving- my uncle lost his sister (my mom) and then aunt Cheryl was diagnosed with breast cancer
She is strong and I know she will get through it- and yet we all know that the treatments can take a toll on your body- she loves to teach and just this week she has had to put it on hold to take care of herself-
so will you lift her up in prayer and the family as well- she has 8 more treatments each week- we are here for you aunt Cheryl, uncle Dave, Sierra, Lucas and the rest of the family- we love you and think of you daily
We do have...

miracle child - part 3

so in january of 2011 the journey began - i took marcus to bradenton and there he stayed til july 1st- it was a long 5 months but we made it through- there really was no change in behavior until april- when a light bulb went off and he changed his heart and forgave his foster dad - apparently their was abuse going on in which we suspected but it all came out in therapy- I would travel once a week until april for therapy and visits- then he began to earn the privilege of time away from the facility- the transformation was phenomenal- he was making a difference- no aggression- he realized how he needed to cope - he learned how to cope- he learned what triggers it and how he triggers me. he coped - i saw it could not believe it- he was on the right meds and he was calm- other issues were taken care of when he was there as well- it was phenomenal again- how awesome God is. you see I was not there 24 /7 so i had no idea what was going on- i had to trust God with marcus- He reminded me often during those times- do you trust me - of course- i had no reason but to trust Him-
he came home pretty much every weekend since the April time frame- and when he finally came home in July - he was a different child- so different- so much fun so much fun- he was enjoyable to be around - we have laughed so much more- no signs of aggression except 2x of which he was very tired. so not bad for the last year and half- not bad at all
he went from being in the EBD program at school to being placed in regular classes in january 2012- and stayed there through the rest of the year. he also finished elementary school and is now in middle school in regular classes and in AP math- my miracle child - amazing he really is

he has a servants heart- wants to help people- his quote for this past weekend was this mom I am going to adopt 5 children so I can change their lives like you changed mine- then my 5 children will adopt 5 children so they can change those children's lives and soon with all the kids our family adopts we will solve the problem of having children to adopt (he was talking about in the state of Florida) - I love how he thinks- one person does make a difference-

i often have questioned how am i doing - i often have questioned why God me- I often have questioned where would he be if he was not mine?- i oftened have questioned how could i be so lucky so blessed - i often have questioned how did i make it through- i often have questioned- why did i not give up-

you see it was a battle and we won- i have done well (still question at times now with different things) why me cause God knew i would be stubborn enough to not give up on what His plan was- that i do not quit i keep persevering and keep persevering- i keep going- God knew that i would sit and smile after all the hard times and say wow- I made it through because God gave me the strength he gave me the friends and family to stand with me - why did i not give up- because God has a purpose for marcus- whether it be a Olympic track star- whether it be a police officer- whether it be a missionary - whether it be a dad that just wants to change other kids lives - God knew God knew what He needed and he knew we would not be defeated

Marcus is a joy he is so much fun- and I love how he asks questions - ok some of them i have no idea- and i have to ask for help during those times-

you see we went through a lot a lot- and this is just the minimal story- it was ugly to go through but we finally saw the light at the end of the very long tunnel and it is so bright now so very bright
do you need a miracle God will make a way- keep believing keep pressing on keep pursuing Him

miracle child - part 2

so we left off in 2008 - thing had settled down and it appeared marcus was on his way to recovery- so i thought in march 2009 and october 2009 we had episodes of very aggressive behavior and violence- out of control- not just at home at school at church- not little things either -
holes in walls- 8 year old little boys can be very strong when they have adrenaline going through their body- restraining him was all i could do and it was tiring so very tiring-
he was in the crisis center teice in 2009 and he appeared we were doing fabulous- track was going on- he started soccer - school was good- still was getting referrals but not so many- we had found child care and not be booted out at all. we made it through march of 2010 and was doing well - school year started and he was loving it and was having some issues but nothing crazy
then october 2010 came and like a bolt of lightening it hit and hit hard- th ephone call came and said marcus was brought back to school and was in the time out room- acting very violent.
i was on my way to school- and for 45 minutes after i got there he was in the TO room. not able to get control. when he finally did he was exhausted. we left. i reminded him on the way home more then half way- that he needed to do his HW and then get ready for church. and you thought i ended his world- we had to pull over and for 30 minutes at least we waited- in the meantime i had called his coach and he came to help and then i had to do the most difficult thing i had to call 911 on my child - hardest decision but saved our lives- the next 3 months marcus spent the majority of his time in the crisis center he was out of control- i got to know the staff quite well during those times- they are awesome. for me the most draing emotional physical and mental time- why was this happening and why could i not have normalcy in the house- oh the aggression for us was his normalcy during this time however I did  not like the normalcy-

we had decided meaning myslelf the doctors his school behavioral specialist that he - that we needed something more permanent- the thought of losing my son overwhelmed me with pain- i did not know where all of this would lead too. we got the approval for residential care with in a month and within a week Marcus and I were preparing to take on the next journey of our family... it was a very overwhelming - during all this time - I continued to work- I continued to stay involved with the church ministries- life kept going ...

stay tuned for the rest of the story and how the miraculous happened

a miracle child- part 1

i know i brag a lot i mean a lot- about how well marcus is doing but we have come so far and he has changed so much-for those of you who do not know or have only just begun reading let me tell our story- some of the details many may not know - do not judge me for you did not know how life was for us before

ok so in 2005 i decided to adopt a child- a single parent i chose to be- some , including myself thought i was crazy- it was awesome i became a mom - i remember the day of the adoption like yesterday- i had family and friends there and we were very late in the proceedings but it was good- he was so tiny and so mischeivous- still is with a smirky smile he has-
the papers were signed and it was official i was now responsible for this cute 4 and half year old- he was cute with no teeth.

he did kids stuff so i thought until he kicked the directors door 37 times at child care fortunately for me it was my sister who was the director and said time to get him evaluated- because he was already removed from one childcare. ( by the time he was in 3rd grade we had been through 11- yes 11).

begin seeing an awesome psychologist and psychiatrist- yes we seeked additional help why - hmm throwing chairs - tables- hitting - biting etc. not your normal violence in a 4 year old

He was placed on meds and such and seemed to stable out- however labor day weekend 2008 I remember so well i was afraid to stay home alone yes afraid- of a 7 year old- not a good place to be at all- he was very violent and caused bruising on my legs - not feeling safe at all so i had to make a decision to get more help more help he needed i did not know what else to do- i was failing at being a mom- well so i thought - but this i had no control over- this was bigger then me- so i took him to the er and he went off the wall there and he ended up being transported to a crisis unit for a week. where i was asked why had he not been here sooner- and how have you been handling him. they were amazed

i was not sure what was going to happen- i missed work for a week cause i was not sure what to do- i was emotionally and physically drained-

marcus was in an awesome school at this point and the teachers were phenomenal and so supportive-
I am forever grateful for the staff at LMES- they surely are life changers

soo what happens next- well stay tuned for the next part of the miraculous turn around tomorrow.......

Weekend- wrap up ok Sunday wrap up

we had an amazing day at church this morning with starting LIFEgroups- so many new faces during this time and so excited to see what is next for these groups- so if you are in the Tampa Bay area come see us at 9:30 am at Celebration Church on Sunday - I am sure we can find a group that you will love.

Marcus and I hung out at home this afternoon- me studying and him watching football- yes football - he has learned the game quite quickly- and he coaches the team as we sit there and watch- he is definitely my mom's grandson- LOL.

My son amazes me- he has such a kind heart- i deal with normal kid stuff now and think wow He knew the plan the whole time- if only He would have informed me a little sooner - maybe He did and I was not listening- Marcus is truly a blessing and growing into a responsible young man- Now I ask him to do things and I do not get complaining but is there anything else. He has some tough classes this year for middle school and he is doing so well- so proud so very proud-

he is a servant - been at the church a lot lately and whatever is asked of him he does- no complaining just does it cause it needs done.

smiling on the inside

soccer time

 Prayer Time- He is number 18 the one on the left.

 There he goes off and running with the ball.

 

We started soccer practice a couple weeks ago with Myrtle Lake Baptist- and Upwards Sports- I love it- they focus on having fun - winning /losing and most importantly a relationship with Christ. They have devotional times during practice and prayer before the games. The people with Myrtle Lake are awesome- very down to earth- and are there to have fun and spread Christ through sports- very neat group. I am glad we were able to find them and get Marcus back in soccer. We missed it for 2 years. One of the dads said Marcus was really good. Sooooooooo, either soccer or track - hmm scholorship and Olympics here we come. no pressure I just want him to enjoy both sports- he loves them both and now tells me from watching the Olympics he wants to run the 3000 next year. Can you do 2 sports in the Olympics?

Growing up

Not sure who it is harder for - Marcus or me- probably me- the last 2 weeks has been crazy - middle school starting, ortho appt, therapy appt, meetings at the school- soccer starting- working on life groups for church- I am exhausted- but i think it is a good exhaustion

Marcus went to his first youth lock in - yes you read it correctly - he is now in youth- no more children's church unless he wants to help in there - in which I think he probably will.But he has to wait a year so in to main service he goes beginning this week

We had a fabulous Sunday service- and now begin to prepare for Life group launch this coming Sunday

I got my old computer up and running and ready for Marcus- he has his own- how is this possible- i got him a skin to cover up the purple cover I have - and this is what he chose

go figure you think he has Steeler blood running through his veins-

I was very proud of him yesterday - such a servant- he was cleaning the tables off for breakfast yesterday at church- love it- love it love it-
He chose to do it - was not asked just jumped in and helped - i love that about him and he is so improving his help around the house-
Chores are done without hassle- I think he is finally realizing I need him to help or else we can not enjoy times just chilling and watching the Rays game ( which we are doing now) or the buc or bulls or steelers and or track and the list goes on

Week of craziness

Good morning-

Well- I was hoping to write a little more frequently but have not- sad :(
this week was as crazy as last week- Monday we had a hurricane day at work -went in for a little bit making sure all was ok but then left- (it really was not bad here) - work was busy as we were catching up and I am in the middle of evaluations, studying for an exam- making sure we are on top things as our October inspection approaches-
then home life- Marcus' in middle school is going to make me go a little crazy- I know I know- it is just the first weeks- well at least he is not getting home late anymore and he is there when I get there.
we had a meeting at school on Thursday for Chorus - he likes it and he will be having a busy year with that- He does however think I know nothing about how to do assignments-
I think I have had more HW then him- signing him up for textbooks on line- making sure he has his smartmusic online- getting my old computer up and running for him (still working on this)

then while doing home life- work life - church life steps in - working on our life groups launch with Pastor Larry- we are going to have amazing classes for all ages- I can not wait to see how God will use these classes-

so with all this going on needless to stay I had a little bit of an overwhelming party yesterday afternoon- it did not last too long- I do not have time with that- :)
and next week should be even crazier as we will have soccer practice and a soccer game on Saturday- wa hoo.

Can someone clone me now please :)