I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead.
I'm here to declare to you my past is over.
In You all things are made new. Surrendered
My Life to Christ. I'm Moving, Moving Forward
This song has been playing in my head since I got back from my bike ride so I thought it was significant to write about it.
I- We need to stop focusing on the past- I - We can not change it- but I know I - We can change the future if we focus one day at a time forward not back
I can not change the fact - that I had to place my son in a residential facility because of his very aggressive and angry behaviors. I do know the behaviors have changed and we are not going back to the past- we are moving forward-
I can not change the fact that I was living in defense mode- not knowing what , when or where aggression would happen- or why it would happen. I do know that my defenses are lowered because I see him changing I see him coping I see him thinking of others before himself- Thursday when I spoke with him- for the first time after I said hello he asked me how my day was- he has never ever asked me that. Steps forward not back-
We want to move forward -one moment at a time- trying not to focus at days ahead but focus on the days at hand- working each day to be successful.
As I rode my bike Thursday- I spoke with God we had a really good conversation- What was it about- I am asked him why me? yes I ask God why- and it is ok- not why God am I going through this - but instead I asked God why did you choose me to be Marcus' mom. Why was it me that became his mom- out of all the mom and dad's out there why me? God was like because I knew you could handle it and I knew you would do what Marcus needed. Even though it was the hardest thing you had to do for him you made that choice and now we are moving forward.
Even though you (God still speaking to me) had to go through the junk you had to go through I knew you would not give up and you would give him the help he needed. I am glad God knew cause going through it I sure did not know.
I get my strength from Him.
He also said I knew you would reach out to others - I gave you an awareness that many do not know- Many people have no clue what parents with children with mental health issues go through. You do and you can make a difference in their life- me God really? yep you
What else did me and God talk about-now that I am active- biking and such I need to continue to do so when Marcus comes home - something we will be sharing-
He also said to trust me- continue to trust me with all your being and life will never be the same. Trust me that you will ride those 16 miles that I showed you today. ( I will ride 16 miles)
He spoke to me about other stuff too- but that is between me and God
So those of you reading I am not going back- not bringing up the past- moving forward- I urge you to do the same with what you have in your life
I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead.
I'm here to declare to you my past is over.
In You all things are made new. ( Marcus is being made all new)Surrendered
My Life to Christ. I'm Moving, Moving Forward
I'm here to declare to you my past is over.
In You all things are made new. Surrendered
My Life to Christ. I'm Moving, Moving Forward
This song has been playing in my head since I got back from my bike ride so I thought it was significant to write about it.
I- We need to stop focusing on the past- I - We can not change it- but I know I - We can change the future if we focus one day at a time forward not back
I can not change the fact - that I had to place my son in a residential facility because of his very aggressive and angry behaviors. I do know the behaviors have changed and we are not going back to the past- we are moving forward-
I can not change the fact that I was living in defense mode- not knowing what , when or where aggression would happen- or why it would happen. I do know that my defenses are lowered because I see him changing I see him coping I see him thinking of others before himself- Thursday when I spoke with him- for the first time after I said hello he asked me how my day was- he has never ever asked me that. Steps forward not back-
We want to move forward -one moment at a time- trying not to focus at days ahead but focus on the days at hand- working each day to be successful.
As I rode my bike Thursday- I spoke with God we had a really good conversation- What was it about- I am asked him why me? yes I ask God why- and it is ok- not why God am I going through this - but instead I asked God why did you choose me to be Marcus' mom. Why was it me that became his mom- out of all the mom and dad's out there why me? God was like because I knew you could handle it and I knew you would do what Marcus needed. Even though it was the hardest thing you had to do for him you made that choice and now we are moving forward.
Even though you (God still speaking to me) had to go through the junk you had to go through I knew you would not give up and you would give him the help he needed. I am glad God knew cause going through it I sure did not know.
I get my strength from Him.
He also said I knew you would reach out to others - I gave you an awareness that many do not know- Many people have no clue what parents with children with mental health issues go through. You do and you can make a difference in their life- me God really? yep you
What else did me and God talk about-now that I am active- biking and such I need to continue to do so when Marcus comes home - something we will be sharing-
He also said to trust me- continue to trust me with all your being and life will never be the same. Trust me that you will ride those 16 miles that I showed you today. ( I will ride 16 miles)
He spoke to me about other stuff too- but that is between me and God
So those of you reading I am not going back- not bringing up the past- moving forward- I urge you to do the same with what you have in your life
I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead.
I'm here to declare to you my past is over.
In You all things are made new. ( Marcus is being made all new)Surrendered
My Life to Christ. I'm Moving, Moving Forward
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