so allow me to share

ok well- it has been a month that has Marcus has been gone to get help that he needs- has it been easy no- just ask those closest to me- although over the past month i have realized how much I love to work out- i so need it and so enjoy it- i look forward to doing it after work- i should have started long ago- maybe avoided a lot of stress and frustration -
but i am increasing how far I ride in the same amount of time- and I am increasing the distant I run- i feel good physically- emotionally i am doing fairly well- why just fairly well -
first I miss my son- i have certain days that are difficult then others- Sundays are usually my hardest why- just cause i love watching him absorb the word of God in children's church- and he should be at church with me- oh i get this is for a time- and he needs to be where he is at- please i have lived with him for 5 years i know this all too well.
it is going to take him time to work through what he needs to work through- this has been shown over and over the last several days with things he is doing-
i miss him- him i miss the behaviors NO WAY- for a month i have not had to be on eggshells knowing or not if he was going to not like what i have asked him to do-not knowing when the explosions will occur- my neck muscles are actually relaxed and i am sleeping at night the whole night- for me i am healing and it is taking time - but i will heal as marcus will heal- hey I serve a great BIG God- he opened the doors wide open for Him to get the help he needs He surely can heal him to wholeness and then use Marcus in a great way-
I am trying to be open with friends and family in what i am going through- i know some may not understand but they are there to listen - they are there to guide me- there are there just to encourage and they are there at times to smack me back into reality- :)