Well Friday was a wake up call for me at work and home- I reallized with the help of my boss my focus has not been at work and I am not meeting their expectations- so it is a reality check and I have dug deep inside to see where the problem lies- well I have been so focused on family life and concerned with Marcus and not knowing when he will have issues- I have allowed it to seep it to my work and that is not good- so my boss and I talked- and there are a couple option she gave me-and we will talk some more I am sure. I am going to have to refocus - how seek out additional help for me- pray more - talk to someone -not just family and friends- we have EAP at work I am going to go talk with them- it will be a good thing- why cause I am not functioning as I should- how?
Not focusing- just going through the motions- sleep what is that? I go to bed but usually up at 2 or 3 and then wide awake- house chores are done when I feel like it or when it gets bad -although this I am doing better at- just at the end of my rope and that is not good and I need to not be there- How can I continually help him if I am not helping me-it has effected me my work my home-
One thing that keeps me going is teaching Sunday School and the love of God to the kids- one thing that keeps me going is using my skills in helping animals- and helping others- it felt good to help Maddie last night - even though I do not wish that on anyone (MAddie is our pastors dog and was hit by a car)
What can you do- pray and pray and pray - believe when I can't
I will make it - I am too stubborn not too- just a real rough time- however I serve and AWESOME God and He will help me through- and I have loving family and friends who will help me through.
This is my prayer in the desert And all that's within me feels dry This is my prayer in the hunger in me My God is a God who provides Verse 2:And this is my prayer in the fire In weakness or trial or pain There is a faith provedOf more worth than gold So refine me Lord through the flames Chorus:And I will bring praise I will bring praise No weapon forged against me shall remainI will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here Verse 3:And this is my prayer in the battle And triumph is still on it's way I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ So firm on His promise I'll stand Bridge:All of my life In every seasonYou are still GodI have a reason to singI have a reason to worshipVerse 4: This is my prayer in the harvest When favor and providence flowI know I'm filled to be empited again The seed I've recieved I will sow
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