Goals for 2010- updated 12-31-09

I am not writing resolutions but goals for the new year- what are they?

1. Depend more on God
2. Read more of the bible and study it more in detail
3. Focus on what I can do and not what I can't
4. Pray more-
5. Learn to cook a new dish each month
6. Persevere -Flourish
7. Keep losing weight-
8. No trips to the CSU
9. To enjoy life - Choose joy
10. Cancel the worries and anxieties that I dwell on- God has it under control

I am sure I will have more but this is a start and fresh in my mind

Weekend in Review

Read below pictures- for the review of the weekend-pictures all have captions

(Marcus and I sitting on the jetty rocks with surfers behind us)

(Marcus reading the story of Jesus birth)

( opening a soccer ball for grannie and papaw's house)

(watching something)

(this is Molly Moo- she is loving on me after I gave her an orange)

( my new executive chef)

(mi madre and padre)

(Marcus opening a Santa gift)

(mom and dad's tree)

My weekend started Thursday after work when I headed south for Christmas- so I will let you know what happened.

We had a Christmas Eve dinner with our family and some of mom and dad's friends - it was very nice. Enjoyed it so much

Then that night Santa came very late cause 4 children did not want to sleep- Christmas day was very nice we took the whole day to open gifts- just spread it through out the day- this was a new thing but I really liked it- I made sweeyt rolls- yes I did- I know a Christmas Miracle- yes Shrodes' Family (the kids) Coach cooked- :)

Saturday we tok the kids out away from mom and dad to give them peace and quiet- we went to the Jetties which they have never been - it was very windy and the surfers were surfing-the kids loved it and it was so nice to go there after so many years not going.

Then we went shopping- I got 2 new outfits and my sister and mom both loved them- Marcus said I look soooooooooooo pretty. Had the 7 layer salad on this day and it was sooooooooo good- I think that is all I ate.

We got home and dealt with an hour meltdown-which included Marcus telling Papaw he was not his grandfather- I really do not like it when he uses words like that in his anger.

he finally settled down and peace came upon the house around 8 when all the kids were in bed-

We got up this morning and I took the kids to church and they saw Aunt Bekah- Miss Christy, Miss Rhonda and Pastor Gray- they love it there- it is a home away from home-

Then a meltdown occurred on the way home a very unsafe one- one in which I called in reinforcements to get others home safely.

So there were consequences inforced and then all was quiet- I was not a happy camper with this meltdown.

One of the highlights of my weekends was church this morning- why you ask because it was like God speaking to me all over again with the same words Pastor Larry preached about holding on to the promises of God a couple of weeks ago- Pastor Gray preached a very very similar message- I am wondering if they talk to each other and say what they are preaching on- seriously they do not - I know that is God using them to speak to me in both of th churches I love so dearly- God is truly amazing!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!

I want to give it all away just like the song

these were the words my son spoke to me Tuesday as I drove him to grannies' and papaw's. Marcus said I want to give mommy cause that is what we are suppose to do. He was so excited to give- and it tickled me to know he was starting to understand-

Listen to the song-

Christmas service 2009

Christmas Miracles- Marcus raised his hand again to accept Jesus as his savior- and he also wants a miracle for his behavior to get better.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Marcus is patient, Marcus is kind. He does not envy, he does not boast, it is not proud. 5 Marcus is not rude, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, Marcus keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Marcus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 he always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Marcus never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away

Speaking out the miracle- speaking life into a miracle

Busy Day

today was a busy day but I enjoyed it so much-
Life coaching began the day and we were sharing different things God has done in our life and reflecting on our words for the year- remember mine was perseverance-
I have persevered this year - shall I recap a little
change in job location and yet with the same division- learning the functions of the new facility
and all the changes that have occurred-
2 trips to the CSU for Marcus - stabilization unit- not fun but needed to go through it-
Now Marcus can be daily issues and sometimes hourly- so persevering through each day
I am so thankful for my Savior- and giving me strength when my was so depleted

Sometimes we look at our adversary so different after we go through it and that is what I do- how I have grown from each struggle or tribulation- it allows me to realize how much I need to allow God to run my life and trust Him- He does have it all in control and if I just listen and be obedient and pray with out ceasing he turns it all around

Some of the good that has happened- my passion for God has grown and I love to worship Him even when the days are so bad- I have great friends- which they mean more to me then friendship they are family- they lift me up and hold me up when I need it - God sure knew who I needed in my life for this season. I have learned to stand even when I do not feel like it- I have learned to pray even when I have no words to say-
in the midst of all the trials - one good and amazing thing is I have lost weight and in a size that I was in high school- now to keep it off the right way. this is truly a blessing cause I have been wanting to lose weight of course not exactly how i planned it but now I am going to keep it off.

God is good and I just love Him so much- God knows the plans for me it was written even before I was born- okay God show me what you have planned in 2010. I know it i will be amazing

Hey mommy do you know...

what caroling is? yes I do- we did it today at school- great I said
You know 4 years ago was Marcus' first Christmas ever-and each year I get tickled when he comes up with these things he does- this year he is so into Christmas songs-
We were at publix last night ad he was singing Jingle Bells- and a few others- he said mommy do you know any- so I started singing with him- he got a big grin- you know these type of moments so so so lovely and take away the meltdown moments- I just pray for more of these precious moments-
He is into the Gaithers Christmas CD and sings some of the songs so beautifully - I love to hear him sing- this is one of his favorites- turn off the music at the bottom of the blog so you can hear it - I love it

Soon...

I will be on vacation - after the Christmas and New Years I will be taking off for a week- yeah- sleeping in and not doing a whole lot- I do plan on going to church one day and work around there - not sure which day though.

I have not been feeling too great- got a cold or something and when you have a cold and deal with a challenging child it is very tiring even more so- Sunday Night was an example- Marcus got mad cause he lost playing a video game and I had no energy to deal with him- Pastor Larry and Tom stepped in and helped so much- then last night he got mad cause we had to leave practice why because it was past time to leave - we were in the car on the way home when that meltdown occurred-
just worn out and need this vacation to sleep -
this time oof year tends to bring out more of the ugly in Marcus- hopefully it will be over quickly- work has been busy and hopefully will start to smooth over a little more-it has been better.

I am hoping to get a good nights sleep tonight- pray I do and sleep all night

Do you want to see what it is like in my house

I am not one to watch Dr Phil (Child ) but oh my it was like he was filming in my house- you can see this couple and you see my house on an almost daily basis- I know it is by God's grace, love and strenght I get through each day. This was just a clip from the show- I recommend you viewing the entire episode to truly understand what a parent goes through with a child with behavioral and emotional issue.

I think God is really trying to tell me something

Never give up on praying- that was one of Pastor Larry's points yesterday- I keep hearing this of not giving up- that keep holding on that God is going to do something great through it all- whatever you are going through-


Let me just explain some may think oh your tribulation or trial is nothing- no it is something it truly is- dealing with a child that has anger issues and hanging on to the past - holding bitterness in his heart- these are not small tantrums and he is not a weakling child- these are full blown screaming pushing kicking and hitting tantrums- from a very strong young man- he becomes like the hulk when he gets mad-they get overwhelming and tiring to deal with and when he does not want to work through it the way he has been taught the point is why even try anymore- why not just give up on trying to work with him- and honestly that is really how I have felt- over the past few weeks off and on. I put all this energy and time into helping him and he is not even putting any effort into changing his actions or reactions.



Last night I am hoping was the beginning of a breakthrough- we talked for about an hour on anger and the "man" Marcus shared some more things he is remembering and I asked him how he felt towards him- he could ot verbalize it- so I had him write a letter to the "man".

Dear Bob (not real name)

I am angry, I am mad, I am sad, I hate you that you did ..... to me

To Bob

From Marcus




I also had hiim close his eyes and think about what the man did to him and then I had him scream at the man ad get out all the feelings he had toward him- (the dog did not like it) but I think it helped Marcus-


We talked about forgiveness and how Marcus needed to get to the point of forgiving the man- I said you do not have to like him and he should pray for him. it was a very good converastion and I think the start of a breakthrough for him- Dont Give Up- keep praying

Deck the halls with ....

Well today was not as productive as I wanted to be - well I got all the downstairs done- got the wreath on the door and reindeer out front ( i love my reindeer I have had it since I was a sophmore i high school).and snow man flag out- I wanted to get the tree up- may still we shall see-
tomorrow hopefully will be a more productive day after a great day at church.

Busy day tomorrow though as well - work- church and then who knows what- else hopefully it will be a good day