my life our story

sometimes i wonder why i put myself through something- trying to educate myself for my family and ended up getting ridiculed and hurt- so i have learned i will not do that again (this is the second time- i will not do it a third time)

i need to live my life for us - sorry it does not work out that way for all- but it works for m and i and we have a very open relationship about his past and how he is doing and when ever he wants to discuss it - i am there for him-

there for him regardless-

anyway off that soap box-

here are some pictures of our trip

now you see why i wanted to stay -

I am back

ok so i know its been a while but things were happening in my neck of the woods- started my support group for behaviorally challenged children - well actually there parents - next meeting July 8th

but the main thing going on was vacation and taking Marcus out west to see my Uncle Dave and Aunt Cheryl- in Wyoming and having some difficulty getting back to the normal life of Wesley Chapel. miss the view and my uncle ( we have a great relationship- always have even though he is 2000 miles away).
call me crazy but as i was going through the trails out there i guess the overwhelming beauty caught up with me- i teared up and was like thank you God for this amazing beauty- words can not express the beauty that was out there- and they see it everyday. can not wait to go back again sooner rather then later and learned a bit while i was out there about how to enjoy each day and to live life to the fullest each of your days. miss my family out there like crazy and looking forward to starting to do things around here and live each day to the fullest-

my plans- seeing dad more , biking trails in Florida- enjoying our surroundings, exercising with M more and maybe just maybe do a 5k or a triathlon with him- eating better- one day at a time and it begins today. making time for extended family and for marcus and I.

tomorrow i will post wyoming pictures

if only they knew- well not really

i surely was blessed this evening when one of the mom's told me- marcus is one of the sweetest young men out here- oh it makes me smile so big- what an amazing compliment-

thank you Lord for bringing us through and the future keeps getting brighter and brighter

i am over the top proud

i am not sure who was more excited for marcus - him or me- why because i have seen so much potential in his running and this weekend he had the best run ever in his track career- i don't know maybe it's the competitive person in me or the fact i so believe in his abilities and believe God gave him the ability.

marcus and i often talk about that God has an amazing plan for his life- and i so enjoy being his mom-so blessed i am. so thankful for that young man- i beam as his mom-

this year in school he has made me proud - honor roll all year- walks to school- does chores when not even asked- so helpful- as i type it brings tears of joy to my eyes-

if you ever feel like giving up on something or someone - DON'T- never give up on a person never give up on yourself- your dreams - you just never know when the breakthrough will come - you will be amazed -

i love when i get compliments of what a well behaved young man he is- i smile on the inside bigger then anyone knows just knowing where we were before- and yes i am patting myself on the back because i think i have done a great job raising him- he loves God- loves his momma- is respectful- does what he is asked to do (most of the time) - honor roll- and the list goes on- can you imagine if i gave up when it was the worst- i would not be able to see the best ( which keeps getting better and better)

yes i love that boy-

my thoughts

so this is my blog so i can write my thoughts and what goes on with my life and my son's life- so here they are today

we begin discussing a topic in which no one wants to talk about but it is a necessary topic- marcus and i had a discussion about if something ever happened to me who would he choose to live with- michele what kind of topic is that to discuss with a child- well its reality and i want him to have a say in it- you see as a single mom i need to be prepared- we are not promised of tomorrow so i plan for today. plus if i do not put it in to place he will be appointed by the state and i will not allow him to go back into foster care - (i know they are not all bad)

so he chose 3 people and i chose 3 people and they were the exact same 3. love how that works- and they all agree that they would take him if necessary - love it and love those people

ok so- we had a track meet yesterday- was not the greatest of runs but had a really good accomplishment- marcus and i were in discussion about his 1st run and he started to get an attitude and such and i just was not going to discuss it with him- i told him go get some powerade and chill in the shade- i walked away-  so he did that all huffin and puffin and came and found me a few minutes later- mom can we talk - yep sure can- sorry mom did not mean to get an attitude with you- its ok just be careful son and we will be fine- he was like i was nervous and ... ok well now your nerves are gone lets be focused and not cop an attitude when we talk- yes maam :)
it was such a hot and long day then he went to run his last event and he was tripped and hit is knee into his chin- i knew something was not quite right when i was watching his race- i met him at the finish line and he basically collapsed in my arms in tears- he was limping and said his knee hurt- it is better today just a bruise

lately my heart just melts and my eyes fill with tears during children's church- we have some amazing kids and it touches me so when they open their heart to God and sing to Him. thank you Lord for speaking to me -and sending the kids you are sending- they are amazing

the end of the year is approaching for school

wow where did this year go as far as school - it seemed like yesterday we were wondering how marcus would do in middle school. well he has done awesome- honor roll all year- so much has changed since last year.
no more child care- no more riding the 'special' bus- no more therapy- wow- God is so good- He sees us through everything.
as I type I smile. not saying we have not had some days but now we deal with adolescence stuff- its ok though- I think-

he is funny so very funny- makes me laugh- he is honest and so tender hearted- heart of compassion. we have an open relationship where he can ask me anything and if I dont know i get someone who does know.

we have had some really deep conversations- from growing up and things boys go through (in which I do enlist additional help when needed :) )- to questions about his birth mom and birth family- honest answers is key

Mother's Day weekend

we had prayer and pancakes last night and this word is ringing in my heart NOW- what is God going to do NOW- i love that- as i prayed last night for God to speak to my heart about how he wants to use me- he simple said i am- you are being obedient and the support group you are starting is all about bringing people Hope - this will bring hope to the hopeless-this is not my support group but God's to ues me to reach others for Him and to show them there is hope for their children and their family - a rebuilding as Pastor Larry spoke of - I want God to use me to help rebuild families where there is challenges with behaviors- God has surely restored our family in a huge way and so want others to see that.

today was so awesome with Marcus running in his meet dropping over a minute off his time for the 3000 and over 40 sec off his time in the 1500 and 7 sec off in his 800- placing with 2 golds and 1 silver- his 800 brought tears to my eyes as he came from behind to win the race- my mom ( his grannie ) would be so proud- thinking of you this weekend mom- marcus said he ran the races for you- Happy Bday and Mother's Day- you are loved and missed so much!

Dear mom-

i can not see you but in pictures and in memories that are in my mind and on my heart- can not feel you or hear your words unless i close my eyes. i often look at your picture and say i wish you were here to see all the good that has happened to all of us. you would be so proud of all the accomplishments - i can see you smiling. i can sense the conversations we would be having.
thank you mom for believing in us- for supporting us in all we did- for cheering us on- for writing letters on behalf of your crazy single daughter who wants to change the life of a child- well in fact you writing that letter forever changed 2 lives that will never be the same- ever. it has not been quite 2 years since you have been gone- sometimes it seems like forever ago sometimes like yesterday we were sitting and talking on the back porch in Venice.u would be so proud at how your grandkids are doing- and oh my word the things i say to marcus sound just like you (lori does the same thing with ainsley and dakota) so you live on in our actions - and sometime attitudes - you live on in the compassion in our hearts - you live on in the traditions we still carry on- thank u for loving us thank you for who you are- Happy Bday mom and Happy mother's day- you are loved and so very much missed
love michele

Happy Mother's Day- everyone enjoy your day and hold close to your mom's and tell her and your children you love them everyday