A few days late

Merry Christmas

sorry have not written not really busy but - so dad came to Christmas at Lori's - so glad you did dad- made my Christmas

the kids were all a flurry with their new kindles or nooks- it is official baby steps for technology in the house- I guess the next investment will be a cheap phone for emergencies-

Marcus and I have been hanging out at the house and today went on an 11 mile bike ride- need to continue with that- however my knee did not like it towards the end so I will have to make sure I take care of it.

Marcus was funny the other day he asked if it was expensive to adopt him- I said nope I got a deal . he thought that was funny. I answer his questions when he has them- sorta makes me a little nervous- but still honest with him- I think I want to protect him from where he came from- I know some of the history and just do not want him exposed to that right now - He knows his biological mom did drugs and he knows that we are unsure of who his biological dad is. He knows that he was born with syphilis and they test his biological mom for drugs when he was born and he also knows he was placed in foster care 3 days later- some of his foster time is a blur and I really know not a whole lot about that. He asks I answer what I know - where did this conversation come from- Idk.

anyway- hoping for a good new year- still praying for God wants-

More- Trust-Strength

3 words 3 words for 2013- i normally choose a word for the new year this past year i did not - not sure why - just did not - so why these 3 words well here you go-

More- more time in the word- more time in prayer- more time for God

Trust- Trust Him with All things and not pick things back up- Seek Him first and not rely on me

Strength- for I can not do it alone- I can not be a mom alone ( I get tired)- I can not serve Him on my own. I need His strength to do all things.

MORE- TRUST- STRENGTH

What word do you choose this year?

Time for Reflection

We celebrate this time of year the birth of Christ- our Savior our King of Kings- I have much to be celebrating this year-and yet at the same time my heart misses my mom- I know this is normal I get it- I often think about how proud she would be of her daughters and grandkids- particular Marcus- no disrespect to Ainsley and Dakota- she would be proud of them too.

Yesterday I was deleting and going through old emails and found an email from December 2, 2010 an email with an attachment of an application for residential care for Marcus. It was so fitting as Marcus and I delivered some goodies to the crisis center where he stayed quite a bit in 2010. They were so proud of how well he is doing.

I often think of all the kids that need help or are in the facilities in which Marcus once did- When we were at the crisis center we were told they were full- full of children- my heart broke as I knew that feeling that their parents were going through- but they all were safe and getting help. Marcus said he hopes they all get better- he wants others to know they can do it too as he has gotten the help.

Mom saw what Marcus was like and it made her nervous - she saw the ugly meltdowns- I am so glad she saw just a glimpse of what I see everyday now in June of 2011. She would truly be amazed now!

I often wish she was here just so she can enjoy him as much as I do now- she would laugh as much as I do now with him ( he is quite funny - especially when he gets really tired). Oh I know I can not change or have my wish come true and I also know I need to be thankful for what I have now and enjoy life each day. I get it just sometimes it is a little harder then others and Christmas time is one of them.

so mom- I miss you - I love you and I know you would be so proud of this incredible young man.

Enjoy some old photos

Enough is enough

Usually I am pretty quiet when it comes to the news of the world- however when mental illness is involved - I need to speak out- you can agree or not this is strictly my opinion and my opinion only.

Why do people keep saying we need to be aware of mental health and look into that every time something tragic happens- blame the mental health issue the person has- stop stop stop

Blame the government for not making sources available - stop stop stop

There is help out there if the person wants it or if the person's parent wants it. but it takes time, time and energy- it is not a quick fix of medication - cause believe me I have seen the multitude of it with my son. It takes a person diligently working with the mental health care workers- it takes time.
You need to make the people helping you aware of what is going on with actions. Speak up if you have a child speak up and say this is not working we need to do something different-

I am not saying it is easy - believe me it took me time to realize wow I am so outside my league right now and can not do it alone.

You see I have a son who suffers from ADHD, slight oppositional defiant ( not so much anymore), and PTSD- yes PTSD (not fun). Well he does not suffer anymore why. I the parent was diligent in the efforts to get him help-  I seeked out the professionals and found them- I seeked out the school to help us get him evaluated. The letters I wrote up there do not define him anymore. We found the right medication, we found the right people to help.

My son wanted to get better- I wanted him to be successful and so did he. He is 11 now- we have been dealing with this since he was 5 - yes 5. It was hard- spent many of nights crying and not understanding. Spent many hours with therapists- seeking and finding.

Stop blaming the fact there is nothing out there or limited- yes it is out there I found it - we are a product of it. however it does take time, lots of prayer, lots of perseverance.

Now- we have it under control- only on 2 medications- therapy has stopped, he is on honor roll.

Seek help - it is there- and parents do not be ashamed - be your child's advocate and say something is not quite right let's evaluate him/her. You are not alone - been there and came through

so much to tell - sorta

ok so what have we been up to- i neglected to tell you November 21st we were discharged from therapy- wowzers huh- 6 years later and we are done- we can go back as needed

He is a miracle I truly believe

now we are preparing for chorus concert this coming Friday December 14th- so if you would like to come and see him we will be at the Wesley Chapel performing arts center by Wesley Chapel High.- it  starts at 7

he is growing and maturing and becoming a fine young man- he often tells me he wants to be like me and adopt kids like him so he can help them become all they can be- he amazes me at times and then drives me crazy at other times

he is doing well in school struggling a little bit but we are in middle school and its a lot of work- if he would only listen to me he would do well but he knows best right- :)

all in all life is good in that area-

me busy at work - crazy happenings
i also have been dealing with a knee injury that was driving me crazy- i guess I am just getting old- anyways the Dr I see is awesome and is using me as a guinea pig - sorta - and it is fine cause what he has been doing is working. I still may need an injection in the knee ( no thank you) cause he did find cartilage damage and I also found out that if I ever have to have an MRI with my head going into the machine first- I will need heavy sedation :)

here are some pictures that Keri Rehm took for us- I think they are awesome