Reflection day

ok so we talked about how God is faithful and never changes, always there last night at church- He is always there- never changing-no matter what we have been through or are going through-
some may ask you don't know what is like to go through what i have been through- you are right i don't know and i may not understand but in the same sense you may not know what i have been through- ( you can read my blog - back) so let me give you a brief synopsis of my life in the last 6 + years -

2005- Marcus moved in- adopted in November- multiple child care facilities
2006 surgery on my knee- Marcus began seeing psychiatrist and psychologist- suffering from PTSD and ADHD- and any other initials- multiple child care facilities
2007- still seeing Drs and changing meds multiple times- multiple child care facilities
2008- Marcus baker acted first time- for being excessively aggressive - causing bruises on my legs and then having major meltdown in hospital- to the point the medical staff was sweating and asking me how come he has not been there before
2009 Marcus baker acted 2 more times this year- multiple child care facilities
2010 baker acted multiple times in October - December- time to get extra help ( he had threatened at one time to kill me and wish I was dead)
2011 January baker acted one more time before leaving for 5 months- God made a way proved faithful

June 2011 released from residential facility a month early then anticipated-
I look back on those previous years and say wow wow how did I survive- in August my mom died which was unanticipated-and last night at service I was reminded through a song PD sang - see the highlighted words which really spoke to me last night

In my moments of fear
Through every pain every tear
There's a God whose been faithful to me
When my strength was all gone
And When my heart it had no song
Still He was faithful to me
Every word He promised, is true
Oh yes it is
And What I thought was impossible
I see my God do

Chorus:
He's been faithful, faithful to me (He's been faithful)
Looking back Your love and mercy I see (mercy I see)
In my heart I question You're there and I fail to believe
But You've been faithful (faithful), (faithful) faithful to me

When my heart looked away
The many times I could not pray
Still In love, He proved faithful to me (faithful)

you see i can not change what had happened over the last several years- and there is a reason we went through it all- Marcus is so much fun now- oh he is a boy with a smart mouth but that is just it a smart mouth and no aggression- God knew what He was doing - why do we doubt
I learned of what unconditional love and sacrifice really meant during this time and how much I truly need to trust God- I love Marcus more today then when I first adopted him-
Marcus is a world changer - I can see it- God has a plan and I get to be a part of the amazing plan he has for him-

Marcus tells me often he wants to be a missionary and reach kids for Jesus- can you imagine his testimony- Look at what God can do- for nothing is impossible
I just sit an think about how amazing God is and how He has given me this opportunity as a mom -if not but for God and God alone- thank you Lord for your faithfulness for your hand in all of our lives - allow us to be used by you in a mighty way- You are truly Awesome