Prayer and Pancakes

Usually twice a year our church (Celebration Church of Tampa) sets aside a Friday night from 11 pm-1 am. Yes you read the time correctly. for a prayer time and afterwards we usually invade a place to eat pancakes. Marcus and I did not go to pancakes last night just because of the 2 weeks we had and I was exhausted.

Last night - honestly I did not feel like going - I did not feel like praying I could have easily stayed home in bed- but I did get up and I did go-

My heart has been heavy with sadness - my emotions are a mess at times- ( all of which I have been told is normal) yes at times I feel like I am losing my mind. At times I do feel alone. I walked in to the service not really in the mood to sing praise and worship songs - but the song I will praise you in the storm kept entering in my head-

Here is the chorus to the song in which I am speaking:

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Heart still heavy - I began to sing and sing from my heart- and the heaviness began to be lifted
then Pastor Larry invited us all to pray for the kids- youth- again one of my favorite things to do - however my thoughts were how can I pray for them when I do not feel I can. Of course God knows and as I began to pray a little more heaviness began to be lifted off. I am truly blessed by how God knows the timing of everything and I believe this time in prayer was just for me- oh I know the emphasis was on the kids and moving forward and declaring what God has for us and I also think it was just a time for me to be in His presence enjoying Him.

My son so blessed me on a multitude of levels in that service- from declaring for God to touch the world to running for Jesus to wanting to receive the Baptism in the Holy Spirit. God is going to use him mightily I can sense that.

I am not saying that my emotions are all in check- please I already had a moment this morning- but some of the heaviness has been lifted. I am still saddened and I know for me it will be a day to day and sometime even hour by hour process. Yet, I am thankful that I did not allow the heaviness I was feeling to keep me from that time in prayer