its been a week or so

ok well- i know it's been awhile-has and still have things on my mind- nothing earth shadowing just something I need to work through- it may be a process of working through it so - i may write more later about it

so what has been going on- well this month seems to keep going- over memorial weekend we we were at USF running track and Marcus did well he better his time in the 1500 by 7 sec- so he was happy

busy helping with the new set for children's church- then we have another weekend of meets- Marcus graduates 5th grade- wowzers then off to Orlando for the weekend- then off to Gainsville the 16th for Chris and Emily's wedding- how is that possible

then I think I can breathe- will write more when my mind is clearer on what is going on

5th grade trip

Well- we had a fabulous time on the 5th grade trip to Epcot- the kids were very well behaved-

Where has the time gone?

 Go ahead and try the coke from Italy - it tastes great- well not soo much

 Never a dull moment with Mr Madley- we were in Canada, eh

 How do you keep children entertained for 20 minutes- call them on the phone when you are in the UK- priceless- and hysterical

 Mary Poppins- the kids wanted to have their pictures taken with her- I love that

 It's Mater- made of grasses and flowers-

Thanks Kris for the job you do- it was a pleasure hanging with you and the kids- Marcus' success is because of teachers like you who pour into our kids- Joanne thank you for opening your heart and classroom- I am blessed to have awesome teachers in Marcus' life.

yEAH FOR AInslEy

Ainsley- has come to Juniors from brownie - good job

New territory - not chartered by me before

Have you ever tried new territory in which you never been down before- that appears to be life as I speak- you see Marcus is approaching middle school age and asking questions and all that is grand-and yet I have no idea what I am doing on these uncharted territory- hormones and how will this effect his medication and what do I need to look for in changes in his behavior- will he become more defiant - or not-who do I go to in helping him which in turn will help me ( I already know this answer) -
at times I feel like I can not do this anymore- no no its ok I am not giving up and I know it is just part of being a parent and all parents go through the middle /high school years.
as I continue to trust God with his guidance and wisdom and trust my family ( yes I have no friends I consider them all family ) with what they have been through and their wisdom in which they have learned we will make it- also working with Marcus therapist will be of great help too. Medication is a plus hmm maybe more for me and less for him - J/K
This is all apart of being a mom ( often times I wish I had someone else just to give me a break)

day by day we will make it through we always do

Happy Mother's Day

Today is bittersweet for me- I celebrate being a mom and yet miss my mom like crazy today-
I celebrate the victories of the track meet with Marcus yesterday- he did it all in memory of mom
He was awesome in everything with attitude and doing things with out being told

So happy mother's day to all the mom's out there- you have an amazing job that God has blessed you with.

Happy Bday Mom

Well- Happy Bday Mom-
I know you are not here on earth but you are here in my heart there is not a day goes by when I do not think of you- I hope you enjoy your bday with Doreen and the rest of the family- how special is that- Although I do wish you were here.

Happy BDay to You

I really do miss you-! Love you

Finally where she wanted to be

Mom is finally next to Doreen where she wanted to be- thanks Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary

Early Bday gift for you mom-

we went to middle school today

ok where did the time go - it seems like yesterday I was finding a preschool for Marcus and today we went to middle school curriculum night- yeesh-
there are times where I wish I could take back time- and relive the special times over and over- I know they are in my memories- one of my favorite memories is the day I met Marcus- he was in his foster home and comes bounding out of the bedroom and says mommmy - i was like how cute he calls the foster mom mommy- no he was calling me mommy- and I was like woah wait a minute- or the times of his first bday - christmas -
and of course the not so good times we have had- death of a feline friend - death of grannie- dealing with anger and anxiety-i have learned so much from him- he is a gift- and he is growing up- oh how I wish I had a few more years of him being 4- new adventure here we come welcome to middle school - mom-

nothing like meeting up with family

have you ever had a person in your life that even when its been years apart when you meet up its like the years between visits melted away- well that is what it was like when we met up with Nikki and Vikki this past weekend- just like old times- oh things have changed in each of our lives but it was like the years were never between us- we had an amazing 4 hours of time together on Saturday she was down visiting her new grandbaby - she is not old enough to be a grandmama but yep her 21 year old is now a daddy - it was awesome as I got to hold baby Maverick when he was an hour old- loved it-

well

i wish i could say all things are peachy but they are not- oh i am not talking about the end of the world or anything like that- just life stuff- dealing with marcus and anxiety issues of middle school dealing with marcus and discussing human development and how he thinks its gross and embarrassing- he actually calls it without knowing he says it human growth and embarrassment- do not tell him i told you that. so hopefully with him journaling again this will help him
he also is sad about mom he misses her everyday as i do- and honestly i have been a little sadder lately - for several reasons i think- and you know it is all a normal process although at times it does not feel so normal- mom went to PA this week (well her ashes anyway- is that TMI) to be buried next to my oldest sister- her bday is May 12th and then the next day is mother's day- this stinks it really does - again i was told that certain times would be harder then others. oye i dont like it one bit i tell you.

life does go on just a little rougher at times-

switching gears we are fixing to start a new lesson in Kidzone at church it is alien themed-

then we are continuing with our track practices and meets - this will continue through June-