What a difference a year makes

a year ago Tuesday will mark a day in my life that was changed forever- you can read about it here.

but what I take from that day and who I have become because of that day I will write today.

to this day i remember most clearly-there are some things that stand out so much and impacted me greatly- like the words from Pastor Larry when I called and then again when I spoke to him later that night- "this has no reflection on you as a mom" powerful words that i think of often- however i use those words as a positive impact and how i am being a mom and how i react as a mom- it is all good. knowing that family and friends were there to lift me up in the darkest time in my life- which i can say now just lifted back in March yes it took that long and dark moments have come since then but had not stayed around as long-and how i handle things have changed- with the right healthcare workers and constant prayer life is good.

this day has been so much on my mind lately cause i know we have come so far- being a mom over the last few months has been so different from a year ago-so what have i learned over the year?- let me tell you

* you are not alone- yes PD I learned this as well over the course of last year- i have family and friends to help me walk me through and even carry me through- not just friends though - I serve an awesome God who has been through this year with me every step of the way -

* trust God trust God- hand life over to Him- stop handling things yourself

* give love give love give love- even when it is hard

* spend time-even if it si biking walking - grocery shopping-

* fill positiveness - encourage encourage encourage

* listen to the therapist- talk and share and be honest so you can get the help you need

* realize your strength comes from God

* it is good to do something for yourself and not feel guilty

* it is ok to say please take him i need time

* sports are a good thing

* God has always had his hand on our lives and knew we would survive

* through the misery of what i was going through i was able to minister to others

* sometimes a good cry is so needed just to get through

* good friends - are always always there -they know just what to do- listen or give hugs

* God is doing a great work through Marcus and it is coming through

* thankful for the storms in life

* i want to help others with a child with behavior issues and let them know they are not alone and they will make it

*we were able to come off one of the meds he was on

* he is a funny kid and life is so enjoyable with him now- God you created him in your image and it is beginning to shine through- THANK YOU!

*i have become more confidant in my parenting skills- i am proud of how i handle the difficult times - trial and error- learning learning learning

no matter what comes our way I know through God's guidance and relying on Him I can make it through anything- I know many may not completely understand - like oh your child has behavior issues so what child does not- well no not like what we have been through- if you would like to know in detail i would love to share my testimony with you - God is truly awesome

Here I am

ok I have not fallen of the face of the earth- sorry Gayle no capitalizing and no punctuation (LOL)
I will write more later on just wanted to stop in and say the first week of school is going by well- Marcus is adjusting back to the schedule- will post pictures soon- can you believe he is in 3rd grade? where has the time gone

Truly Blessed

I have the best son- I know many are saying what- no seriously God is working on him so much-

I keep instilling in him - he was created in God's image and just speaking life into him through the scripture- Marcus' faith has increased so much- I love it- so let me share with you somethings he has said be prepared your name may be mentioned - he loves you so much that is why I am sharing.

SO yesterday Marcus was a little off I found out yesterday he had a headache all day- I asked him why he did not tell me- He said he was believing for God to heal it- I was like I am so glad you have that much faith honey however God gave us Drs that he has giving the ability to give us medicine to help get rid of those headaches so He is healing you through the medicine - oh he says -I love Marcus faith he has truly touched my life with his belief in God for everything-

Ok get ready cause this is for someone special to us-he loves you-

we were talking about how our bodies should be kept clean and pure before God (our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit)and how nothing bad should be put in our body like drugs or alcohol, etc. and he said what is alcohol so I explained what it was and he was like Fred(not real name) drinks that and I was like yes yes .Fred does. Well does Fred have Jesus in his heart- I said next time you speak to Fred you ask him- Can I pray with Fred? absolutely! Can I pray with Fred to ask Jesus in his heart- Yes yes you can

Marcus truly has a tender heart and it is shining through more and more- my days with him have been awesome and I am thankful for God teaching me- showing me and allowing me to be Marcus' mom my life will never be the same

Hopeful for Someday-

I am hopeful for someday- and he does not need to be a prince-been thinking lately of God sending the man He has for me

Marcus first soccer game 2009

Here is a quick video of Marcus' first soccer game- he scored the only goal for his team- he is talented. hmm can someone go to the olympics for multi sports- gotta love it- he enjoys it- hope to see some of you there

3rd grade here we come

well school starts Monday for us- yeah! We will have the same team of teachers as we have had in the past- yeah!! This year will be better then the last - I know it will be better - anything will be better from last year-

why - well for those of you reading this last year was one of the worst school years for us- Marcus was baker acted ( he was a threat to others-me) twice in the school year- and let me tell you I have learned so much over this past year- we talked about trying again last night at fusion and wow if I did not try again with Marcus where would we both be- oh I was close in throwing in the towel for him and giving up that is how serious it got- but I pressed in - with the love of God- with the strength of God with family and friends to be my strength when I could not go on anymore- God is good and so ever faithful

So we have a new year to look forward to and so excited about what is to come-

SO we will perservere- this is my word for the year and the sign on Marcus' hall at school- so fitting for us.

Blindsided by my own reaction

wow is all I can say- I just did not realize how I would react to the unfolding of yesterday events- I will not go into a great detail here on what happened just know I struggled yesterday for unknown reasons and today some residual effects but it will all get better- why cause our God is a great big God-He truly is-

There is a few people who know and I know they will diligently pray- as I told the few I feel it was selfish and each one of them said no no - you just have a desire in your heart and you are ok-

I think my reaction shocked me cause I had not felt this way in a very long time many many years- I know I am talking in circles too many of you- my point really is of today's writing is to help me work through it and I will overcome it- will not change the desire of my heart just a matter of getting through the weak moment.

I will keep pressing in- and seeking God- in this area of my life-