things i have been thinking of..

ok- so your life changes a bunch when you lose someone close- i have learned that over the last year and half.

family is so important to me and trusting God with all things has been a matter of priority-

hold those you love close to you- make sure you tell those you love in fact you do love them-

don't sweat the small stuff- still learning this-

read your Bible daily and look to God for the answers-

we are not promised tomorrow- so what are you doing today to make a difference- I try and think of that daily- sometimes I don't think I make a difference for that day and probably do not. working on that

saturday i had the opportunity to walk through a park in downtown tampa- looking around i thought who are touching these lives that are here- there were many homeless in the park- why can we no make a difference in their lives-

reach out to those who may not know what God is all about- pour love into their lives - if you can meet their need meet it- your life will be changed by touching their life

i have been off a lot lately- i love my job- i love reaching into kids lives - i love our lifegroups-
there is just something not quite right though- still trying to figure it all out - and will i am sure- normally do

so get out there make a difference- what do you have to lose. remember make sure you tell those you care about that you care about them-

5 guests today and...

well we had 5 guests today in Kidzone- they were awesome kids and i hope we see them back- which means we would have had to overflow into the hallway if everyone was there today- that is a good problem-
We talked about things we deal with and what the Bible says about it-

Something the kids are loving is Quizarama- we have some smart kids in which they know their Bible- some of the younger ones just buzz in to buzz in and at times know the answer- its awesome to see them retain what they learn.

now the and..

busy months ahead but it will be good- track starts soon and we will be going on vacation and then Marcus will have camps-

then football will start- yes you read it he wants to play football which is fine- i will love watching him play-  will keep you posted

we get through...

God is so funny- not hahaha- but sometimes the word he brings through church is so timely. I will be honest with you and sometimes I feel a lone ( i know I am not) but we talked about what to do when you know someone who needs comfort - the do and not do list.
I think my biggest pet peeve and it was brought up was do not tell the person you know what they are going through- you may have been through similar things but you do not know what they feel or what is going on inside- just be there to listen to them - maybe even be quiet - cry with them - drink coffee with them.

we lost mom in august of 2011 but some days it feels like yesterday- oh we get through but have not gotten over it- Marcus questions at times and honestly i do too- sometimes things are done or said to set off the emotions again--lately been thinking there is a hole in my heart that is not closed-

comfort words that do not help- she is in a better place - well... maybe she is not sick anymore but she is not here so i would disagree with you there- i know i can not change the fact she is gone- I get that- that does make up for the void though-


so we do get through- most days we get through well-  .....we never get over it though

We held on to hope

Well almost a year ago we found out my aunt had breast cancer ( this was just 6 months after my mom passed away)- its been a tough long hall over the last year or so with all that was going on for my uncle and aunt- but ...
We serve a great big God and yesterday I received some awesome news- my aunt is in remission and I am so thrilled for them and their family-

Now as my uncle would say let the partying begin!
We love you Aunt Cheryl- You are a survivor!

How could I doubt

 that was then- wow how could I doubt and question raising this little guy

 into this young man- I am so blessed. I shake my head often to think where we have come from- in fact tonight Marcus and I were just talking about the day our lives changed forever - the day I had to call Coach Gig and then the sheriff's department- Marcus holds no bitterness and he says he knows that everyone was just trying to help him.

Our conversations are so open and so awesome- he asks such pertinent things to life-

How was I the fortunate one to be his mom- God allowed me to go through what we did so we can see where we are going- Marcus and I talk a lot and now I smile so much more - I love being his mom, he is a treasure. His teachers say that he is a pleasure to teach, so consciousness, so caring, and considerate of others. I did something right :) Time and commitment - lots of energy

Wednesday night when the missionaries were there- Marcus leaned over to me and said I will be doing that someday- I want to teach children all over the world about Jesus and what He has done for me- Wow wow wow- Marcus gets it -I love that

Do you ever question yourself

Do you ever question things in life- I have postponed this post for quite a while debating whether to right it or not- well you see I decided to write it- sometimes we question things we do in life - for me that has been lately-
let me explain-
I made the choice to adopt a child who needed a home - I chose to adopt a child whose biological mom was unable to take care of because of her choices in life- no known means of the biological father- so we have a mom who did not follow court orders to get herself together and lost her biological child. why would anyone want to lose their child? I don't know I can not answer that question in life? His biological mom will have to question that herself?
Have I given my son a home of love and care and support - more then anyone could ever know- I did not give up on him when things got ugly- and more then anyone could know of the ugly but us. would others stick around and work through all the ugly- no - I have been told they would have given up- so my question is would they have given up on their biological children? I don't know see I am questioning. You see as an adoptive mom we go through -questioning if we are doing what is right for our children- or child in my case - I am a single mom by choice- I chose to adopt a child who needed a home- someone to love and care for- I think I am questioning more now about if I am not meeting his needs and being that single mom- i rumble over it my head over and over- does he need a dad? I don't know that answer- he prays for one everyday- he such a good boy- or good young man- I am so proud of how he is turning out-
there are questions about being a young man i can not answer - simple cause I am not a young man :) he does ask questions and I answer them to the best of my ability- we have open conversations- is that enough again I question.
he is maturing and growing and making choices - he is becoming more responsible and so caring- I love it- if I have had a long day at work he makes sure I am ok- so my question is to myself- am I doing things right with him is there anything else I need to do- I can not provide for everything he wants but can provide for what he needs.

Divine Healing

Do you believe in Divine Healing- I do
We had a teaching on it tonight at Celebration Church- it was good stuff

Here is a summary of what I learned from it-
James 5:13-15

¹³ Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

Is your life predictable-? I can not say mine is- we all go through trials- or sufferings each one is different
v 13 do you have trouble of any kind? financial,emotional, death, at work- pray
v 13 are you happy- then we should sing song of praise- I know for me when I am going through something this can be difficult- and yet when I do it the sufferings seem to get better- sometimes not go away but better

v 13 let the elders (pastors or leaders) pray over them- are you sick-God is able- he exceeds anything we may even expect.
v 14 pray when we have sin- confess our sins
we need to exam ourselves- God show me what is not pleasing to you

sin can make you sick.

we need to pray fervently, aggressively, and submissively

honestly been struggling off and on with my mom's sickness- a year and half ago- still miss her horribly. but anyway. I prayed with ferverence (is that a word) - I prayed aggressively but did I really pray submissively- honestly when I got the call no no I did not I prayed selfishly- I wanted my mom well and talking to me and speaking to me and well again.
But as time progressed ( it was  short time of 11 days)- I began to pray submissively- Lord your will be done- your healing come- was it the healing I was searching for no not at all-
and as Pastor Larry taught tonight my eyes welled up and I was back in that hospital room praying Lord let your will be done. sometimes it is not the outcome we are looking for but God sees the whole picture ( thankful for the reminder tonight)
mom did get healed and was made whole- i believe that with my whole being.

I would be lying if I said it is easy now- no at times I miss her so much- and just want her to be here and enjoying life- there is so much she has missed out on over the last year and half- can not change it- but knowing she is not in pain- and her body is whole is helpful-

Keep praying for that healing - don't ever give up- may not always be the outcome we like or want - we need to pray fervently and aggressively and submissively- not my will God but yours.

Do you believe in miracles? I do - see them everyday- believe in your miracle today- you know if you look in the mirror you are a miracle - you woke up and looked in the mirror and saw a miracle.