Jehovah Jireh my Provider

I woke up to the words of what Rob was speaking from God last week about how God is my provider and how He will supply ALL my needs - not just some but All- I woke up to God reminding me of what I said I was going to do- pray about what to do with Marcus- not just fly off the wheel cause I am desperate to fix the problem right now-

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

James 1:12
12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him

Again- just when you think you are defeated as I was feeling last night- God gives you the strength to get up- gives you strength to endure- He will make a way and provide

The Saga is on going

Well- we no longer have before care and no longer have after care from school ( thankful again for Cathy and Tom)
why no after care because Marcus again was unsafe in the van and they just can not have that there- so no more martial arts- so needless to say stress is high and I am tired of dealing with it all- any ideas and suggestions please send them to me- if you know of any place that would deal with a child with behavioral challenges - needs to be in small setting and have structure and feel safe. and once again this before brought me to a low tonight- thank goodness for friends and family- my heart is broken- and hurting- we were doing well at home and did not realize he was spiraling at martial arts-

so of course I was emotionally over it - not knowing how to handle it all- and called friends and family to talk it out- it helped - but not enough- I felt defeated in my efforts- and just want to give up- OK I AM NOT GIVING UP- I WILL PERSEVERE-

Thanks to a little chatting on line from friends in Illinois (Melissa) and friends close by the Garlands- actually the Garlands came over and we just chatted and just having them here helped so much

I have contacted some people to see if they have any suggestions for care and I am serious - if any of you have ideas let me know- sorry dad can not use duct tape and bailing twine- it will not work

His therapist is going to contact the psychatrist and speak to her about the very poor impulse control he has and see what she says- therapist also said that the thought of someone raising there voice or speaking to him or not giving him the answer he wants to hear- when he is in trouble may set off an alarm inside and he just does not know what to do by go into defense and flight response and may not know why he does it. and at times he goes beyond where he can get control- so she is going to begin looking back and seeing where things may have gone awry.

Keep us in your prayers- I am changing my prayer from healing to we need a miracle.

Persevere

He did not qualify

Well I had the evaluation for Marcus and the social group program- the Dr said he does not qualify for this but I will start and anger management group for him and others in March- okay strange but ok- we will wait til March to get in a program- group setting.
Today I find out about the fate of before care of PLACE- gut feeling not good- but I am not worried. I am thankful for my God for meeting my needs.

Child care

Okay enough is enough- this is ridiculus-well I was suppose to have a meeting with PLACE yesterday to determine the outcome of Marcus- he wants to go back but my gut is saying not going to happen. Anyway-so I have been diligently working to find alternative -for now Cathy and Tom have been wonderful- and dealing with shanagans of Marcus (just pray for him and food issues)
I have talked to child care facilities pretty much in Hillsborough and Pasco County-they say they deal with special needs kids- well no no they do not- there is 2 in Hillsborough (where my sister was the director) and then where he went privately to kindergarten. There have been a couple of them in Pasco county who have worked with him but always the same parents are concerned etc- me too concerned about the welfare of my sons mind - do you people not get change is not good for him - I repeat I am not complaining about PLACE they ahve done phenomenal this one is on Marcus.
So today I am calling childcares and for the first time ever-I had an honest person on the phone from Children's Nest Daycare off of 54. I asked about the special needs children told her about Marcus and the PTSD and anger issues and she said I am sorry but my staff is not trained for this type of special needs-She apologized and wished she could help - I told her that I appreciated the fact she was up front and honest about taking Marcus in- She did not want to put him through another change -Thank you Jesus for her honesty. I would rather know up front.
Why is there not a child care facility to deal with behavioral needs children- maybe I need to open one- I know he can not be the only one-Can He? So if anyone knows of one let me know

Good day today

We had a busy day- for me it was different gettin 2 children plus myself together- plus make breakfast- etc- one is plenty- my heart goes out to single parents with more then 1 child (tina, sue I am thinking of you). SS was good we talked about Moses and how is was disobedient - the kids are learning the books of the bible in order - I have about half of them that know the first 15 - most of them are bringing their bibles yeah- and 95 % are contributing during question time-

service was good PD preached a good message -really good- no I am not just saying that cause she reads my blog it was what was right about the church- all good stuff-

my niece came and oh my goodness when Lori picked her up she had a major crying meltdown she did not want to leave-she called 20 minutes after she left hysterical to the point i could not understand her.

then Marcus and I came home and slept-

I did not sleep too well last night not sure why so it was a nice nap- then Marcus cleaned his bathroom while I took off the training wheels on his bike- then outside we went and he did great- we started the process at grannie and papaws and today was the day to see how he would do- he did fabulous- so on Saturdays we will be finding trails to go on- anyone want to join us? Here are some pictures from grannie and papaws and then here

Catch up from the week

and to look ahead- okay well this was an interesting week- Marcus is into stealing food- therapist relates it all back to younger days-it is a frustrating time - he took from the Garlands and had to buy it with his own money- still waiting on consequences from them-then he also took and lied at school from a teacher- what to do?? we take a step forward and then backwards we go- I am getting all the negative out to focus on the positive- so then he decides to be unsafe in the van to after school several days this week- yelling - unbelting etc- why who knows he may not even- very aggravating- let me see-I think that wraps of the negative now lets focus on positive-
- his anger has been manageable this week 6 out 0f 7 days- this is an answer to prayer - I think I can handle everything but the volatile anger moments- oh he got angry just we did some things different to help him deescalated quickly-
this is what we do- first you have to hug him from behind- either rub is arms or rock him- then you say Stop- Second- Calm yourself down- breathe in breath out- do that a couple of times- count to 10 slowly- third- focus on a happy thought - a bracelet he wears now WWJD - 4th- make a choice give him 2 options he normally chooses the better one if not we go through the steps again. this is a process usually of less then 5 minutes- compared to 30-40 minutes of screaming hollering or name calling. I have been less stressed and overwhelmed from this technique- does it always work only when you start of by hugging him- does not work if you ask him to do his 4 steps. I believe it is a comfort thing knowing you are there to hold him and help him through.

He had a good Friday- ended the week + ,

I am reading a really good book about Strong willed children-no not Dr Dobson- I am reading this going this is Marcus- oh no this is Marcus- oh here he is again- and the parents reacting the same way I do- YES I am not alone - I can not tell you how this book has wowed me- I am not a big book reader however I like it a lot-gives you ideas and steps and helps you see other ways of doing things- So far this is the best book I have read when it relates to "Marcus" . Some of the things in there - just confirms what friends have told me so that is so wowzers to me.

So what is ahead- I have a conference with PLACE to find out his outcome- I have received information from Children resources and Misty you were right not very helpful. Stuff I already have but I was given them to me- You know why is there not a childcare facility that deals with behavioral challenged children HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! I can not be the only one who deals with this.
Wednesday I meet up with a Dr doing a program for socialization and they will evaluate him- this will be out of pocket no insurance coverage. it will last for 15 weeks- I am hoping it will help him and help me understand him. It is on Mondays from 4-5 so I will be leaving work early on those days- thank goodness for S/L and FMLA.

This is where we are next week-

Worn out

Just feeling a little tired today- I worked out the last 2 days and had a bumpy day with Marcus- I just can not wait to sleep in on Saturday- who knows maybe it is because it is cold and my warm bed is callingme back- Should find out something about childcare today - or I should say I plan on meeting with them- when not sure- keep you posted