So many of you may have known Marcus had returned to the Crisis unit on December 1st and stayed til this past Monday-
Well Marcus and I talk a lot-and so I asked him what they talk about in group- not pressing just asking- he volunteered information- He was telling me why some of the kids /teenagers were doing there- my heart sank my heart broke- for what he was telling me-
Some of the teenagers we had repeatedly seen when we were there-
He had told me the majority of them were there because they were cutters- and when he said that I was like oh really do you know what that is - he said yes- ok the things you learn- he explained it and he even said that one of them showed the marks to him- Marcus said he would never do it-which I was like good.
The one Marcus was talking about said they cut because her grandmother had died.
Most of the kids never saw visitors- some I connected with - and they were like you are Marcus' mom- I am like yep- they would give me a hug or draw me a picture-
I know we are going through a lot but if those kids just needed a hug from me - then so be it
or if the parents just needed to know they were not alone then great-if I could be a source of encouragement to others at my time of stress then fine - it helps me through
Anyway- back to the teenagers- I just pray for them - what has the world come to that teenagers have to cut themselves to feel better. I do not get it- my heart goes out to them
Wish I could bring them all home- I know then I would really go crazy - lol
Keeping them in my thoughts and prayers- God can do amazing things in their lives
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
If you know us
If you know us and want to know what it is all about - this blog link will tell you how life is for us http://www.storinguptreasures.com/2010/02/why-cant-i-love-my-adopted-child.html
Read it - you will get such an understanding- how I feel-
Read it - you will get such an understanding- how I feel-
Happy Wednesday
Well- it was a very long day yesterday but a very good one- so I am happy about that - this morning we woke up a bit tired and have a bit of a tude- but hopefully he can work it out before the ride into child care- I know he will definately have a rest time before church tonight-
The moment is past and now to go to the rest of the day- praying for a good one all the way around
The moment is past and now to go to the rest of the day- praying for a good one all the way around
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Home Again Home Again
Well Home Again- a little bit of a bumpy evening when it came to brushing his teeth- with a little bit of disrespect and getting an ugly attititude- but I was told bedtime is the toughest so I am trying to fiugre out how not to have attitude during this time-
That was frustrating for me -
This morning - so far so good- better then before with no weird out moments- a little sassy attitude but we will figure it all out-
One day at a time-he needs to get back in the groove of school again so we shall see what happens
That was frustrating for me -
This morning - so far so good- better then before with no weird out moments- a little sassy attitude but we will figure it all out-
One day at a time-he needs to get back in the groove of school again so we shall see what happens
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Fires
We had a fire near the house last week or so- I love to watch and smell the fire- not closely - fires are relaxing to me-
so as I was walking with the dog we passed by the area - I was listening to my ipod and my praise and worship songs were on- and I stopped for a moment to look at the burnt area. As a biology major I had to take ecology and this is what I had learned from that class
Immediately after a large-scale fire, some places will have no vegetation at all and no living trees left. If the fire occurs during the growing season, some plants will re-emerge within days after the fire. After a year, a tremendous amount of new forb and grass growth occurs. Within 4-5 years, woody plants become more evident such as bushes and sapling trees. This is a successional forest, and it is an extremely important type of habitat for plants and animals - additional sunlight fosters diverse plant growth and therefore more food sources for plant-eating animals.
so as I was walking with the dog we passed by the area - I was listening to my ipod and my praise and worship songs were on- and I stopped for a moment to look at the burnt area. As a biology major I had to take ecology and this is what I had learned from that class
Immediately after a large-scale fire, some places will have no vegetation at all and no living trees left. If the fire occurs during the growing season, some plants will re-emerge within days after the fire. After a year, a tremendous amount of new forb and grass growth occurs. Within 4-5 years, woody plants become more evident such as bushes and sapling trees. This is a successional forest, and it is an extremely important type of habitat for plants and animals - additional sunlight fosters diverse plant growth and therefore more food sources for plant-eating animals.
In essence the forest regrows thicker and lusher better then before. Why am I telling you this?
Well as I was looking - I was praying and it was like God telling me you may be going through the fire right now and things need to die (Marcus' past) so he can have a fresh - and better life ahead-I need to take more walks and have quiet time-
Saturday, December 11, 2010
PTSD in parents- FYI
Marcus' Dr had mentioned parents developing PTSD when dealing with children with emotional and behavioral issues - I found this article and how it relates to children with reactive attachment disorder (not what Marcus has been diagnosed with) but those of us who deal with a child like Marcus can have the same type of struggles- read the article hmm it is so what I go through-so this is just FYI -
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
in Parents of
Reactive Attachment Disordered Children
by Jody Swarbrick
Many foster and adoptive families of Reactive Attachment Disordered children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected, after all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war which others do not realize is occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems. Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life. An emotionally unhealthy way of life. We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?
The majority of the population does not understand the dynamics of parenting a RAD child. Family and friends may think that you -- the parent are the one with the problem. Families are frequently turned in on false abuse allegations. Support is non-existent, because outsiders can't even begin to imagine that children can be so destructive.
It is a known fact, that kids diagnosed with RAD tend to target their Moms, play it cool around their Dads, and charm strangers. Where does that leave a parent? Without strong support and understanding, the parent will become isolated, demoralized, hurt, confused, and often held accountable for the actions of their child.
Families are simply not prepared for the profound anger that lives in the heart and soul of our RAD children. It's heartbreaking, frustrating, mindboggling, and extremely stressful. In essence, we're fighting to teach our children how to love and trust. Intimacy frightens our children; they have lost the ability to love, to trust, and to feel remorse for hurtful actions. They see us as the enemy. Small expectations on our part can set our children off in ways that are not only indescribable, but also often unbelievable.
Your home becomes a war zone and you feel totally inadequate. You begin to question your parenting abilities, and your own sanity. You know that your child has been hurt beyond words, you ache for them. Despite your loving intentions and actions, it's thrown in your face. Your heart's desire is to provide your child with untold opportunities, a future, and all the love in the world. You want to soothe your child. You want your child to have a fulfilling childhood and to grow up to be a responsible adult. Yet, you are met with hatred and fierce anger.
In war, the battle lines are drawn; an antagonism exists between two enemies. In our homes, we are not drawing battle lines; we are not prepared for war. We are prepared for parenting. Consequently, the ongoing stress can result in disastrous affects on our well-being literally causing our emotional and physical health to deteriorate.
The primary symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder include:
Avoidance -- refusing to recognize the thoughts and feelings associated with the trauma, this further includes avoiding activities, individuals, and places associated with the trauma.
Intense distress -- when certain cues or "triggers" set off memories of the traumatic event. You may have trouble concentrating, along with feelings of irritability, and frustration over trivial events that never bothered you in the past.
Nightmares and flashbacks -- insomnia or oversleeping may occur. You may exhibit symptoms such as heightened alertness and startle easily.
A loss of interest in your life -- detaching yourself from loved ones. Losing all hope for the future and a lack of loving feelings.
Secondary symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can include:
The realization that you are no longer the person you once were. Relationships have changed by alienating yourself from loved ones. Loneliness and a feeling of helplessness prevail in your daily life.
Depression, which can lead to a negative self-image, lowered self-esteem, along with feeling out of control of your life and environment. You may become a workaholic and physical problems may develop.
You become overly cautious and insecure. Angry outbursts may occur putting stress on significant relationships.
If you are parenting a child diagnosed with Reactive Attachment disorder, you will not escape adverse effects. It is essential to recognize that your feelings are typical under stressful conditions. It is just as essential to accept the fact that extensive stress is unhealthy. By recognizing the symptoms and seeking support, you will strengthen your abilities to cope. Counseling is readily available to families and individuals. Take advantage of resources that will help you put the traumatic experiences into perspective, enabling you to let go of past feelings by replacing them with positive skills for recovery.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
in Parents of
Reactive Attachment Disordered Children
by Jody Swarbrick
Many foster and adoptive families of Reactive Attachment Disordered children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected, after all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war which others do not realize is occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems. Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life. An emotionally unhealthy way of life. We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?
The majority of the population does not understand the dynamics of parenting a RAD child. Family and friends may think that you -- the parent are the one with the problem. Families are frequently turned in on false abuse allegations. Support is non-existent, because outsiders can't even begin to imagine that children can be so destructive.
It is a known fact, that kids diagnosed with RAD tend to target their Moms, play it cool around their Dads, and charm strangers. Where does that leave a parent? Without strong support and understanding, the parent will become isolated, demoralized, hurt, confused, and often held accountable for the actions of their child.
Families are simply not prepared for the profound anger that lives in the heart and soul of our RAD children. It's heartbreaking, frustrating, mindboggling, and extremely stressful. In essence, we're fighting to teach our children how to love and trust. Intimacy frightens our children; they have lost the ability to love, to trust, and to feel remorse for hurtful actions. They see us as the enemy. Small expectations on our part can set our children off in ways that are not only indescribable, but also often unbelievable.
Your home becomes a war zone and you feel totally inadequate. You begin to question your parenting abilities, and your own sanity. You know that your child has been hurt beyond words, you ache for them. Despite your loving intentions and actions, it's thrown in your face. Your heart's desire is to provide your child with untold opportunities, a future, and all the love in the world. You want to soothe your child. You want your child to have a fulfilling childhood and to grow up to be a responsible adult. Yet, you are met with hatred and fierce anger.
In war, the battle lines are drawn; an antagonism exists between two enemies. In our homes, we are not drawing battle lines; we are not prepared for war. We are prepared for parenting. Consequently, the ongoing stress can result in disastrous affects on our well-being literally causing our emotional and physical health to deteriorate.
The primary symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder include:
Avoidance -- refusing to recognize the thoughts and feelings associated with the trauma, this further includes avoiding activities, individuals, and places associated with the trauma.
Intense distress -- when certain cues or "triggers" set off memories of the traumatic event. You may have trouble concentrating, along with feelings of irritability, and frustration over trivial events that never bothered you in the past.
Nightmares and flashbacks -- insomnia or oversleeping may occur. You may exhibit symptoms such as heightened alertness and startle easily.
A loss of interest in your life -- detaching yourself from loved ones. Losing all hope for the future and a lack of loving feelings.
Secondary symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can include:
The realization that you are no longer the person you once were. Relationships have changed by alienating yourself from loved ones. Loneliness and a feeling of helplessness prevail in your daily life.
Depression, which can lead to a negative self-image, lowered self-esteem, along with feeling out of control of your life and environment. You may become a workaholic and physical problems may develop.
You become overly cautious and insecure. Angry outbursts may occur putting stress on significant relationships.
If you are parenting a child diagnosed with Reactive Attachment disorder, you will not escape adverse effects. It is essential to recognize that your feelings are typical under stressful conditions. It is just as essential to accept the fact that extensive stress is unhealthy. By recognizing the symptoms and seeking support, you will strengthen your abilities to cope. Counseling is readily available to families and individuals. Take advantage of resources that will help you put the traumatic experiences into perspective, enabling you to let go of past feelings by replacing them with positive skills for recovery.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wheres the Line to See Jesus -- Official Music Video - Music Videos.mp4
This is the meaning of Christmas- Let us remember Jesus's birth- Have you made the choice to be in line to see Jesus?
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