Blindsided by my own reaction

wow is all I can say- I just did not realize how I would react to the unfolding of yesterday events- I will not go into a great detail here on what happened just know I struggled yesterday for unknown reasons and today some residual effects but it will all get better- why cause our God is a great big God-He truly is-

There is a few people who know and I know they will diligently pray- as I told the few I feel it was selfish and each one of them said no no - you just have a desire in your heart and you are ok-

I think my reaction shocked me cause I had not felt this way in a very long time many many years- I know I am talking in circles too many of you- my point really is of today's writing is to help me work through it and I will overcome it- will not change the desire of my heart just a matter of getting through the weak moment.

I will keep pressing in- and seeking God- in this area of my life-

No soccer game last night

Why you ask - because soccer is a privilage and when you do not work on your goals of self control then you do not get to do what you want- was he happy no- but he realizes I mean waht I say-
hopefully he will be able to do it next week
glad it is Friday - I need some rest tonight - I am worn out

worn out

yesterday afternoon - I had a great workout- I wrestled and won with an 8 year old not getting his way- we had yelling and screaming and running away- wish I could say that about me- no it was ok - I kept my cool and just let people know if I needed them- Thanks Jordan for snatchin the boy-
we "hugged" for about 30 minutes before we were able to go into service- he just was wack a doodle all over me- need some wisdom on this type of situation cause it usually happens a day after soccer - church- etc when he gets tired - trying to figure out how to handle it all better -
I am very proud of how I am handling things- I look back and say wow I have come a long way-(yes I am starting to see it)
oh it takes a physical toll on me just because he is so strong however God gives me strength (physical too) when I need it- I truly believe this
he went to service with me last night and did a great job- thanks Candy for helping and taking him under your wing-
He sang he sat and he even participated in fusion - hmmm maybe need to bring him in more often-
the ride home was pleasant and all is quiet this morning- thank goodness- now it is up to him whether he plays soccer tonight or not- by the choices he makes- Help me Jesus to help him

Another season

OK this is the start of a crazy couple of months- we try to keep Marcus active in sports to help curb the anger outbursts- so today we begin to have soccer practice-amist picking up Isaac from the vet. The good thing- soccer practice is 5 miutes away- yes!

He loves it however it is a privelage and he knows I mean business- you can behave and do your goals and anger control- and calm down- and be able to play or you can not work on your goals and anger control and sit and watch everyone else play.

ok so breathing -

BELIEVE HE SAID NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE

Christmas in July- what a wonderful night and I know I know it is August what is she talking about Listening more to Him- Trusting Him- Relying on Him- Giving it all to Him- All of which I have done but really needed and still need to do it more. Constantly growing in Him.

Ok what exactly am I talking about.

Well the message on that Friday night forever changed me along with another message that will be talked about below- - well my life was changed so much and even since then I have been changing drawing closer to Him and him-

Believe- I have to believe -that if He can move mountains He can move my mountain- I must believe- I must believe- oh I had said I believed but in all reality I did not think or believe- I believed He could move every ones mountain but mine- well not any longer I believe.

He said- God said He said he can take care of all our needs- finances- emotional- physical- children- work- all of our needs He said HE SAID- why am I not believing He said well I do believe HE Said he Can and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us HE said

Nothing is Impossible for God- lame men walk he touched those with leprosy healed the blind- touched an ear that Peter cut off- walked on water- ROSE from the dead. so Nothing is Impossible for God- and my need my son is so important to him but I must believe I must -

so BELIEVE HE SAID NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE

Then on Sunday PDs part of the message just gripped me and I have not let go of the words she said- Stop Complaining stop complaining about your children you did not need to have them (paraphrasing) you are so right ok God what are you really telling me-So He spoke to me big time- God said you keep complaining about Marcus and all the junk you are going through- however I chose him for you and you for him not to be complained about but to be poured into positively -you are his biggest advocate yet you complain too-you need to pour into him - just you and him- trust me BELIEVE I SAID Nothing is Impossible- ok I am listening to you God and Believing~really Believing

So that week I was on vacation- poured into my son and not complained- we found a child care with Marcus help and prayerful consideration- a teacher who is male and "brown" like Marcus ( as he would say) and the teacher and his siblings are adopted- Believing- smaller environment - everything I have been looking for yet had never thought to look there- Believe Nothing is Impossible for God ( this past week was his first week and it was a little bumpy-but successful)

it was just him and I full of little surprises daily nothing extravagant but poured ito and we talked and laughed and it was the best week I have had with him- we went Tuesday we had Drs appts all day so I thought well we have to eat so we went to CHanelside and ate at Bennigans by the window and he had a big ole smile on his face the whole time- special- Thursday we went to Homassaa Springs( Embracing) and had a wonderful time we took a boat and it was priceless simply priceless times- Friday we were tired ok he was so we layed around the house watching movies all day and then Saturday we went to the Bucs practice ( bucs) he was all big eyed- he was great fun

I have come a long way over the last couple of weeks really trusting God with Marcus and me pouring positive into is life - so if you start to pick on him - make fun of him- be negative about him just stop complaining about him and pour positive into him- it is changing him so traumatically - Believe He said Nothing is Impossible

Are you ready for some Football?

Well we went to the Bucs training camp last night- it was fun- I enjoyed it because of watching Marcus- he was so excited he talked 50 miles an hour the whole time- I am like woah -slow down - we can be happy and in control (those are the words I use now)

Here are some pictures of our time at Raymond James- Go BUCS

Bathroom make over

I have been wanting to make my bathroom over for a long time now (4 years) and finally did it today- needs painted but that can wait- I wanted to put my Africa stuff back up-
(the giraffes were made in Zimbabwe- where we bartered for them)
(the elephant was made in Botswana)