1 battle at a time please

However this is not occurring-
so we have Marcus' issues going on - mental health- then the bus situation at the childcare and then to top it off the dryer went out
Oh you say that is all but the first issue mentioned is the biggest problem I am dealing with - for me my strength is depleted (so really I am functioning on Gods strength)today was the icing on the cake - we went to help Cathy and Tom with the house again and we did not stay too long- meltdown came because they ( the girls ) were being mean when he started the whole thing.
He told me over and over and over again he hated me- called me names- cry baby- big head and some other things that I am clueless on-Jesus does not care- no one cares about him- no one likes him- YES these are things my son is saying to me- on a daily basis lately when he gets angry-
But thank you Jesus - it only lasted about 15 minutes or so. We came home- I was going to the grocery store but I am not-with him that is- I just do not trust him right now- I need the meds to kick in and I am hoping the therapy will help when we start.
The plus side of the day- Marcus and I talked this early evening and it was good- I prayed for him and told him there are a bunch of people praying for him-and at anytime he wanted prayer that he could ask them and they would do it right then- so be aware he may ask you to pray-
I do believe this is a spiritual battle with him- the devil is mad - God is doing good things in my life and he just does not like it - oh I am not denying there are other issues going on with him
Another plus side we went to his school and we saw his teacher and she was so excited to see him- I just love her told her what was going on and change in meds and all and she was like we will work it through thank you God for that.
Keep praying we sure do need the prayers...

Whats going on...

To say this week was all peaches and roses would not be the truth-
Marcus was good for Sarah Wednesday which I am thankful for but we had a lot of prayer going on that day- of course he made up for it that night at the end of service-
Monday and Tuesday he seemed out of control again and what I mean is heating throwing things mouthing off- calling names - spitting - etc etc
Mr Tom dealt with him Wednesday night and he was good with him- Mr Tom took a lot I mean a lot-THanks Tom
The Garlands watched him Thursday and he did fairly well- I guess there was a track meet going on there for a bit- Pastor caught him. THanks Pastor Larry
We helped the Garlands move in yesterday - oh I am ahead of my Wednesday
We went to the psychiatrist- I am not sure if I am relieved or what I am feeling yet- I think I am just tired and tired of being strong- oh do not worry this has been exhausting over the last week and I guess I just need to be helped more- and friends are stepping up which I am thankful
His Dr spoke with him and she read all my stuff of accounts that have occurred and believes he acts out because of increased anxiety- why we are not sure about that so we now have a plan
His Strattera is increased he will be starting Prozac and we will begin to see a therapist to help deal with the out of control anxiety issues-
How am I doing with all this stressed - tired -exhausted and the list goes on. I do not feel like a failure because I am doing my best with what was chosen for me- this will make me stronger and more aware of psychiatric problems people go through that are very REAL.
For those of you who have mental health issues or have family members with mental health issues you are not alone.
I will keep you up to speed on how we are doing- pray for him for peace cause that is what he needs- he needs to know he is loved and that it is him we love no matter what
Keep me in your prayers - give me peace- strength- and rest (this has not been happening lately)

I am thankful to those of you with encouraging words- a hug and a helpful hand.

Finally Pictures of DW

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Today was a good day

Well I am getting ready to go nighty night- I have a busy day at work tomorrow and I just want to get some rest- I need to be in earlier then normal because of surgeries yes multiple (8 to be exact)

This evening was nice Marcus and I ate dinner - yes I cooked - amazing I know- ate together and talked and them watched the Olympics in my room while I worked on somethings for church and then we just layed on the bed for about an hour as the boy asked 1000s of questions

Where is China- that is where Kung Fu Pandas he real? I know he is not-Where is Germany? We are from the US? How do they dive like that - they did 3 spins- I could tell him all about diving and then the swimmng questions came- it was great because I could tell him all about that - he went on and on about Olympics he was truly fascinated with them.

Mommy I am going to be a swimmer and run and dive and play soccer and jump and.... breathe boy breathe- That is great love - then he said but first I need to work on my behavior (ding ding ding- the light bulb has gone off- lets see how long it lasts.

It was fun just talking with him- well he was doing most of the talking - it was neat to share something I did when I was young- yes I was a competitive diver and swimmer- pretty good at it to- if I do say so myself.

A quote from a friend

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; its about learning how to dance in the rain."



Bernie just sent me this quote he just read I love it - I love it love it love it

God has not abandoned you...

Oh my those words Pastor Larry spoke were just what I needed to hear this morning- thank you Pastor for being obedient to God and speaking them. In a previous post I was asking God where He was and Why He has not healed Marcus- I have felt bombarded and overwhelmed- Oh-I need thee oh I need thee every hour I need thee- that song ministered to me today as well. One of the scripture verses for my Sunday School Class was this:
Psalm 139:7-12 (New International Version)
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

As I come home and reflect on the day let me just say- I did not want to go to church but so glad I did- sometimes you do not feel like being around people and that is what I felt like today until I got there- I sat in with the youth for a few minutes before Sunday School they are so funny -I was talking to Bernie and how to fix my garbage disposal- he told me what I needed to do- I think I looked like a deer in headlights- I will attempt it- but this could get ugly.

So Sunday School was such an uplifting time- I love the single parenting class so much- just knowing that other single parents deal with the same things. The scripture from above really did not hit me until now when I typed it. I read it and even have notes from what I wanted to speak on - there is no where I can be with out God right beside me- You truly have not abandoned me God- Thank you! Time flies in the class and just when we get in to a good discussion it is time to end . it is okay though I will email everyone and we can touch base this way.

Went into service lifted but not really ready to worship- I am doing okay- As worship continued and they began to sing Healer - I was praying - honestly I did not want to sing it- I love the song but did not want to sing it- so after that is when Pastor Larry spoke about God not abandoning you- well- those words resonated in my heart through the entire service. I know He has a plan- and I know this too shall pass- I know great things are too unfold through these last 3 weeks.

I was blessed after service when Tom and Cathy said they will watch Marcus Thursday- they are moving so Marcus is a big helper so that will be great for him - and to have guy time with Tom will be good for Marcus. So my sister will not need to worry about it- Lori relax and enjoy your Thursday - I hope you take it off for your self.

Believe the song is going over and over in my head so here it is-

SIGH

Today we are not doing a whole lot - I was up very early this morning- why I do not know just something I do-I have been working on laundry - cleaning - or tidying up the house I should say- reading reading a lot- Converstaion Peace- Armorbearer- my daily devotional- Rereading Pastor's notes on help is on the way- a message he spoke.
I sure hope that help is on the way-
Marcus is back asleep he went to bed about 6 ish last night- got up at 5;30 and some time to talk back to me - brought his laundry to the washer and was suppose to be doing something I asked him to do- Well he wanted breakfast- I said great- I will give you breakfast when you finish what you were asked to do- I got talked back too- grumbled at - but not nearly as bad as it has been.
Have my blinders be on with him lately- I know his schedule is so way off this summer and I know that may have a significant impact on his behavior but enough is enough- this out of control lost his marbles type of behavior needs fixed pronto.

So I am fixing to go work on Sunday School- I have listened many times already and know what it is about but need to delve into it- finish my menu for the week- get grocery list together- (Dustin when are you starting my publix again? Next week? side note question) finish laundry-clean kitchen- and the list goes on-
Oh my bansiter I have been working on is half done and it did come out pretty well so far.