Friday, October 31, 2008

I am not a happy camper

I am very frustrated at this point in time- first Marcus lost his cool at after school when I picked him up why? I asked him to go to the restroom then I asked him to get his shoes on- oh no he had to be restrained by mean - he was ugle- said I was hurting him- etc etc- clinching his fists - angry eyes - one of the instructors came over and poof Marcus was respectful and listened and did what he was asked- UGH- why can he not listen and do that with me.
Then we got home and the boy was ugly-

(marcus being ugly with his anger)

arguing back talking- etc- We were suppose to go to the football game so I could watch Sarah march but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - I can't do what I want cause of his actions- so frustrating- I am so aggravated right now-

I know breathe but I am tense - I was good raised my voice maybe once to him- he has consequences and will fulfill them the entire weekend-

Calgon take me away- oh yes I videod his outburst and pictures- he was not happy about it-but he calmed down when we talked on the video.

Got a lot out of him- Dr to other parts of the world to help people- he is not perfect ( i get this all the time- duh I know - of all people I know) - he is a good person (yeah this was a hard one) he wants to make better choices but he is not- he knows how to control his anger but choices not to- I knew all this but he finally voiced it- He is angry that the soldiers crucified Jesus- see our talk went all over the place and then we ended right where we started him being angry- oh my - frustration is so - most of the blog today is just a venting mode- so thank you for allowing me to vent

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Report Card in- verdict good


Well this is the first 9 weeks report card and I must say we have improved soooooooooooo much from last year. In the behavior category last year the majority of them were Ns and Us this year- all Ss but 2 Ns - I am so proud of him- still need to work on the Ns though- this is such a booster not only for him but for me- working ever so hard to diligently work get us to this point- we will keep working-


Work is ever changing so keep me in prayer- nothing bad just changes-

Its Wednesday...

I am so glad it is Wednesday- I am exhausted from work-and just want to sleep-
However- it is a cool 36 here this morning and I am loving it- I love cold weather - layers are good
Looking forward to Wednesday Night Service-
Looking forward to a calmer day at work but a productive day at work-
Willwrite more later - but all is quiet for now- Marcus is making a little bit of breakthroughs each day but we still have a long way- keep praying we are going to make it

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Cat is now out of the bag...

Okay I can not hold it in any longer- it is a new season and a new time- and now I am going to share what I am doing- It has been something that I have been tossing around fighting with with in me- and I finallly said lets do it- What am I doing- Realize this has been on my heart before September 1st-
Well - I am in school taking online classes for.........................counseling- right now it is the preliminary stages and just beginning the basics- my plan is to focus on children and adolosecence- what will this mean for the future- who knows but it is something I want to do - if it helps Marcus great- if I am able to help others all the better- Who knows what the future will hold I just know I need to do it- and I am- the hours are perfect- I set them so I work on it the evenings- I am one who always wants to learn more and if this will help Marcus all the more and if it helps others all the more- There is always room for counselors - especially Christian ones- helping others -through biblical standards- wow- it is amazing- I can not wait to see what unfolds in this- Through troubles and tribulations God brings about mighty things- Use me Lord Here I am.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Here I am-

This song over the last few weeks has really ministered to my heart- and I have a dream and lately things are lining up- I anticipate because of things to use me in a way I have never seen possible- I want Him to use me - and I know I sense it I aniticpate it in my heart- I can see it when I am working with Marcus- God Here I am- Who will go - I will-

Not going anywhere- but just being used by God- this song is so for me right now-Thank you God for my Smile it is a good thing- breaking through- breaking through breaking through

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Good week however...


This week for me has been good- oh yes troubles with Marcus- yes troubles with work- but how I handle it all has been good- is it tiring -um yes
but it is okay- I am doing well- now if this nagging cough would go away I would be great-
New outlook - new goal I have set- new classes I am taking-Yes you read it I am taking new classes- online- yes I am crazy but hey I love to learn and these classes will be good- no not going to tell you what they are until they are done- so do not ask-just something I have been looking into for the past many months-It will be a good thing- a real good thing.
Tomorrow is Friday- we have therapy and we also have a CE Forum- it will be a good Friday-

I am finally getting to a place at work where we are getting caught up and I can begin to think straight. It has been a little overwhelming this first month or so in my new position- staff has been patient and the Drs have been patient. So I am thankful - the staff can begin to breathe a little better we have some extra help now -

I got a compliment today and made me feel good- one of the staff is like no matter what you are always in a good mood and smiling - yep sure am - The Joy of the Lord is my Strength.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

It was a nice day


Well as you can see by the first post of the day I passed the exam I was studying for - I am so glad- one more goal accomplished- yeah

Today was good - I came home and cleaned house and just took a mental break from work and studying- got a lot accomplished-

I am finally getting back in the swing of things- things are looking positive- Marcus had a good day today

More pictures to share from Venice as the days unfold-
I plan on working in my closet and cleaning and organizing it over the next few days-
It is a little messy right now and needs to be reorganized.

I passed!

Thank you all for praying I PASSED my exam - yipee- it was quite difficult and I am so glad it is over-

Monday, October 20, 2008

Here in My Life

Melissa sent this to me - Thanks Melissa

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Hope Waits- visiting Venice Assembly today



This was the title of Pastor Gray's message today- it was pretty good-the scripture was from Jeremiah 29:10-11- His 3 points were:
1. Wait Silently - oh so difficult- do not try to fix it- I know I like to fix things - I am sure there are many out there that are the same way-
Psalm 62:1-5
Psalm 46:10

2. Wait Confidently- do not forget who you are dealing with- God know the names of the stars in the sky and knows how many they are - God is going to handle it

3. Wait expectantly-Do not forget what He said-
My added 2 cents- I have to wait expectantly if I did not nothing would happen- or change- I know when I wait expectantly things happen in my life

Isaiah 40:21-31
Good message-
Unfortunately we did not see Aunt Bekah- because she went home very ill from food poisoning- and I was unsure how Marcus would behave- but thankfully he was good

We have had a few mini breakthroughs this weekend which I am thankful for-
He was able to calm himself down -when asked to-he realized when he spoke it was not respectfully and knew the consequence that was to come and did it himself- baby steps and Waiting Patiently Confidently and Expectantly-

A miracle for Marcus is coming - I truly believe-

Saturday, October 18, 2008

More pictures - from Venice

Bavare- the dog who failed Search and Rescue School but is so sweet- maybe a little too much
My mom's horse- Mareish



Dad's horse Spanky - retired cattle horse


Parrots feeding on the backyard feeder

Ahh- I have an Exam Tuesday

I have an exam Tuesday for work and am studying for it - while I can (someone else home to watch the child) This is a tough exam and I am praying that it all comes to remembrance Tuesday morning at 8:30-

Photos from around Venice

Venice is the city in which I grew up- and even though the house is a little different - some of the sites you see here is what I saw everyday
this is the machinary barn- mowers- another trailer

the barn in which the horses live

the trailer which has transported countless numbers of cattle - also my horse Amber to high school football games where I was the mascot-Indians part of the gates in which I was very good at making sure no cow got out- yes even though I am a girl I worked cows with the best of them part of the pasture where the horses graze
I will post more pictures through the weekend- enjoy

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ahh- it was a calming day



Okay - the time seemed to have flown when I went to get my facial done- so nice Leah Peyton who owns the place - I have known for years and we got caught up-laughed at old times and I felt so relaxed afterwards- For those of you living close by http://www.justskin.org/ is her website - GO GO GO- it is so worth it-

I came home afterwards and slept for 3.5 hours which I never nap cause you never know what little man is going to get into-

My face feels wonderful and oh my I am going back everytime I am in Venice- it is so worth it.

Today is the Day

Okay we came to Venice last night- and all was quiet which was good-
Marcus woke up and around 8 am (sleeping in for me ) I heard a crackle- he was going to open some crackers (he sometimes tries to hoard- thing from his past) He said he was hungry I said grannie is up did you ask her- no
Well he got angry - but resolved it within a few minutes- all is quiet now

Okay well today in about an hour or so I go and get relaxed - rejuvenated and all the other stuff-
Will be back to post about it late

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A few little reminders..

Psalm 32:8 I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you (NLT).

Exodus 14:13 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (NIV

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

We did not make it...

Well- we did not make it to church tonight- Marcus was having a meltdown at 6 tonight- and I just could not see going without a quick turn around- do you know what I thought about this evening- what was going on in service- I missed service- it has been a long while since I have missed a Wednesday night-usually we find a way in going but not tonight- he was sent to his room because of the meltdown and about 630- all was quiet he was asleep

I am a little torn to be honest with you- we are going to mom and dad's tomorrow night for a long weekend- I want to go - and chill out but I also want to stay for service cause God is up to something good at Northside- So to myh Northside Family I will miss you all so much this weekend.
www.northsideag.org

God is truly a gracious God- loving God an everlasting God- He is working on me- not quite ready to reveal what all is going on- but it is good-

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Food Fun and Fellowship

Oh my goodness- we have crazy people at our church - crazy fun loving women- We had a ladies night out- we went for dinner and a movie at PDs house- However it turned out to be dinner and lots of talking and laughing - it was a good time and it was just what I needed- to chill out and relax. Thanks Adam and Sarah for watching Marcus sleep- hope it was not too hard for you.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Let me share my day...

It was friend day today at church-it was so good and I was blessed to have a friend of mine come from work- yes I have atleast 1.
Anyway- My day started a little rough- Marcus was mouthy- sassy attitudunal - woke up early- ugh- that is how it has been lately - nothing volatile - Thank you Lord for that- but mouthy- I am learning how to deal with it- anyway--he was got his act together and something just clicked the rest of the day.
He was helpful in setting up for friend day- he came to my class for Sunday School and was instrumental in helping with a child in there with some disabilities- the child was great in class
2 children gave their hearts to Jesus- then we prayed for several to have courage with different things in their lives-I was able to encourage a child that was having difficulties at school with other kids and advised of what to do-

Then Marcus helped the child to stay in CC- I was proud of him- Marcus was so excited that his friend came Nicholas- he asked me so many times if they were there yet- I said no no no no- Oh here they are.

Service was so good- I was blessed to pray with 2 women- one of which was the mother of the child in my Sunday school class. so blessed- God is beginning to open some doors for me where I am able to speak into others life that have children with special needs- I think God is using my trials and tribulations to help those who have or are going similar situations to encourage them and to let them know they are not alone-Kids with special needs- take lots of energy and can be so tiring- but they are uniquely made-
Something was said in service and I can not remember exactly what was said but it was like -God uses the trials we go through to help others- God loves each one of us and we all go through struggles and each of us can be used to help others with what they are going through.

I had a break through today- each week for the last 2 weeks God is just revealing so much in my heart- baby steps through breakthrough-
God is truly awesome- Smiling in my heart again- (yes the days are sometimes hard to deal with on behaviors- but things are changing)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Bible Quiz today

Well I missed life coaching today for bible quiz- missed you ladies

Marcus has been very obnoxious with his attitude towards me and he had a consequence today of just watching- well I honestly did not want him to watch cause he does well- so his new consequence is NO video games tomorrow at church

Adam is coaching this year- the kids just love him-
I am being a parent this year officiating when needed- I did help the new coordinator this morning because it was chaos with dividing the league into 2 divisions - we have 13 teams. YEAH

Our kids did well- we had several answer questions- most of them this is the first year- we had parents that went and they loved it-which is so good.

As far as Marcus quizzing he did alright-okay he did great- before one of the rounds Adam is like it is close to his meds time and he is getting a little wired- okay take give him his meds- so after that round they came in and Adam said he is yours for the rest of the day- I was like okay what happened- I POSITIVE QUIZZED OUT- what? He got a button they played a trick on me- brought tears to my eyes he reached his goal for today - I am proud-

Okay now how about working on th emouth with mom- ( he does it more when he is tired) He is asleep already for the night - crashed and burned- out like a light

Friday, October 10, 2008

Does it mean anything when ...

a song comes on the radio everytime you turn it on- all day today this happened to me-




Well several good things happened today- 1 I missed do to the other- I wish I could be in 2 places at one time- plus the first one you will see - I got noticed on Monday about it.


Marcus got an award for a writing he did- how cool is that -he is doing well in school- now to work on respect and his mouth at home-

The second thing is we had an inspection today at work- First one since I have been there to make sure we are taking care of the animals well and we passed with flying colors they found nothing wrong- I got several compliments from those inspecting and was thrilled- not to mention today I got a few from the new doctors and technicians of how nice it was and how well I care for their projects and their animals. Ahh what a nice feeling-

Thursday, October 9, 2008

When is this week going to end- oy

Busy week at work- but productive- we have inspection tomorrow so the last few days have been crazy


Here are some papers from Marcus' teachers today enjoy-



Not too bad of a day this morning for him- he did well in PLACE and had a good day over all- it was a bumpy start(on the way) but we got through the AM and then off to school with him-


He starting getting a tude after martial arts- but quickly recovered - I know the afternoons is cause he is so tired so I am learning to deal with that better- there are days when I feel like okay lets get him really upset and see how far he goes- I just think it I haven't acted on it yet -are you crazy?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Today I am smiling - See...

Okay it is not the greatest but the smile is real and so are the tired eyes-
My day was good - Marcus not too bad but hey he was tired and slept all through Fusion tonight at church.
Over the course of the last 2 days I have engulfed my self with praise and worship- even at work-Ipods are great and yes legal at my job- I even have a few of Pastors messages on them and a beautiful prayer to music of PDs- wow it was like they were speaking right to me through what the messages were about- I also had many songs on them and 2 of them really have resonated in my heart okay 3 maybe 4 - We Have Overcome , God of the City and Hear us from Heaven-
I am tired but feel good- even though Marcus was obnoxiuos after martial arts tonight- but consequences were inforced and he is asleep -
Expecting another good day for me-day by day- one moment at a time

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

3 Significant people in our lives

Mrs.Berns,Mrs.Crossley (both pictured here) and Mr Carini- all 3 hold a very dear place in my heart- They are phenomenal - phenomenal teachers- I love them to pieces. They place a significant role in the success Marcus is having at school- The love and care and concern all of them have - not only for him but for me as well- is above and beyond the call of teaching
Marcus got in trouble in PLACE (before care) this week because of his hands- suspended for 2 days-They were there when the PLACE staff needed help - Mr Carini- was there today when I had a conference with them- he put things into place that will hopefully make Marcus successful in the before care program- I am hopeful-
I appreciate them so much and so thankful for them being apart of our life- You all are tops - and so much appreciated.

I need you more

God I need you more - more then yesterday more then words can say - I just need you more- help me not to handle any situation today but realize you have already handled it for me-
I declare today will be a good day-all around from work - to Marcus to home- I declare it-
Reshape my thinking - I need you more more then yesterday I need you more more then words can say I need you more then ever before I need you Lord

Monday, October 6, 2008

Dear God...

How much more do you really think I can handle- cause I think I am about done

Sunday, October 5, 2008

What you can do to Help-

I took this from one of the sites listed on my side bar to the right ---->>>>>>>

If you know of a family with a child who has mental health issues (which if you are reading my blog you do)- these are great ideas

Families raising children with these disorders are just like any other family; all families strive to find the tools that best work for their situation. Some families have members who wear glasses to see better or are in a wheelchair to assist with mobility. Some need tools that are more visible than others. Those children with mood and anxiety issues often need those around them to be armed with the tools of more patience, understanding and flexibility. Sometimes their families feel alienated from those with whom they are close because they are worried of how their child or their parenting is perceived.

What you can do to help
Share your concern about their situation and let them know you would like to get more information about their situation.

Ask if there are any books or other resources that would be helpful to read. There are many websites such as ours that contain information which gives better insight into what these disorders are and how they affect the children and their families.

Check out the links we list - there is a wealth of information!
The next time you have the family over for a visit, maybe you can ask ahead of time if there is something you can do to make sure the child is more comfortable...this may simply be a quiet place for the child to go rest for a few minutes. Visit this article in our "Gallery of Sharing" section to see how a friend helped us at her party.

Make a phone call or even send an email to the parents asking how things are going (sometimes parents feel hesitant about bringing up a bad day or time because they don't want to wear out their friend's ear...let them know you can be a sounding board). Honestly, just knowing you can "vent" to a loving friend or family member, without worrying you are bothering them, is a HUGE help!

If you are able to do so, offer to entertain or watch the child, even if it is an hour at your or their home. I promise you even one hour (to take a bath, a nap, catch up on phone calls, read a book, etc.) will be a very welcome and appreciated gift. It is often hard to find a babysitter, and it is easy to relax when you know your child is safely playing with a trusted, loving adult. Maybe the parent will feel so rested they can reciprocate soon for you and your child!

If the child's illness causes times of very strong feelings, such as rages with bipolar disorder, offer to be "on call" to come over. Sometimes a change in who is in the home can help divert the child's emotions. If the possibility exists of having to go to a hospital or treatement facility during these episodes (for lack of a better word), offer to drive. This can make the difference of a parent having to call local authorities for transportation.

Support can be given in many, many ways and as we all know, sometimes it is the little things that make all the difference!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Feeling Human Again

Well - I did it - I finally cleaned the house-not perfectly but dishes are washed- the living room is almost back to normal- Marcus' room is rearranged and put together- my room is back together and rearranged with some minor things to do-
I still have to put laundry away and do some deep cleaning but I feel like I finally have gotten something accomplished-

I have not felt like cleaning even though it desperately needed it- I just get tired in the evenings and no umption to do it-

It still has some work to be done but it is so much better

Climbing up the mountain

The Journey Begins..... a look back so we can go forward

My journey - My feelings---
I am not sure how I want to begin this and it may only be a part 1 blog-but it may be a doozie of one.

If you have a friend that has a child with issues- a child with special needs have them read this the friend not the child-

I am going to be honest with you because I am looking back - and the reason I am looking back is to show you and to help you realize how far we went before coming to where we are now. To allow us to see where God was right in all of it this whole time- to realize that we go through a valley or a deep deep deep deep deep deep hole in the ground for a reason-

Crab a cup of coffee and hold on this could be a long and bumpy ride-
Are you prepared- cause I am in typing mode now-
Let me begin by looking at summer and thinking the schedule change was the cause of his spiral downwards- as a mom did I miss something- maybe- what could have I done different- He was not behaving at the Y when he had fun stuff to do- he was not behaving with Sarah even when it was sturctured and he made the schedule- we even had a major meltdown and DW- what did I miss anything- he was a downward spiral and I was losing sight of what was going on - others said after the fact they noticed it but was unsure what was going on too- The increases of agitation on Sundays and the weekends were so not him. Acting out in not the normal places- hurting family members with no apparent reason but cause he was angry.


There is so much I want to say but let me just begin
I t really all begin that Sunday when he was out of control and I needed a brake- we went to Adam and Brenda and just chilled I literally was toast- I could not think could not function and just wanted a break-
It was just not a good day- I was at my breaking point of handling him- When you feel that you can not be alone with your child there is a problem-and you need to get help. I waited til the next day to make my decision- when i say all day I did til about 530- Lori came over and stayed with me and we were waiting- I felt kinda numb and at one point she is like what are you going to do-I know what I need to do- but I am not wanting to do it at this moment. This thought went over in my head many mnay times during the day because he was having a good day-
What finally made the decision was I did not want my sister to leave so I was not alone- Why should I feel that way- I believe it was at that point I said it is time- all the while we told Marcus we were going to get him help ( he was fine during this whole day)- which made my decision even more gut wrenching.
I remember packing his bag and mine cause I knew we were not coming home that night the feeling overwhelmed me-and really not expressable- I packed up Marcus and the dog and we headed to Adam and Brenda's so Lori could drive us to the ER. As we were driving I called Pastor Larry and Deanna and let them know what was going on- the only thing I remember PL telling me is this is no reflection on you as a mom.
We drop the dog off and head to the ER- all the while Marcus is behaving great- I am like God please please let him have a meltdown- or something- I am not crazy this is life thatg I lead daily with him and I need someone else to see it. Well it began in the car and I was like thank you God- for allowing this to happen you confirmed I am doing the right thing.
He was fine checking in- and waiting- I spoke to one of the nurses and he asked why he was there and I told him of his aggressions and even showed him my knee of where he hurt me- we waited I am like okay they are going to think I am nuts he is behaving great-
Was this a mistake bringing him here.
We were sitting there watching TV - and Iw as like God please have him show himself- so God answered in a big way- big way- all because of a crayon - so simple- please stop trying to poke my face with the crayon or I will take it away- well it got taken away and wowzers off the wall-I got punched at- my jaw got hit I was bitten - yelled at- slapped - I was trying to restrain him and all the while I am thinking thank you Jesus but I really need help right now-the staff was great - asking if I neede help and I looked at Lori and said go get the security officers - okay they did nothing helpful- he got loose from them - I was sweating and exhausted - but for some reason the adrenaline kept me going-Lori somehow grabbed his arms I grabbed his legs- and dropped him to the floor- whew finally on the floor and held-
One of the staffers said keep doing what you are doing help is on the way- great where was the help 1/2 hour ago- I am exhausted. I laughed when he said cause it was funny but really where was the help in holding him.
So mental health came down and another meltdown occurred- big time- they are seeing him how I have seen him- and this is later in the night when he should have been sleeping so- he was at the breaking point- and they wrapped him - my heart sank but I knew it was needed- and when they made the decision to Baker Act him the feeling really did not hit til later. Lori was making phone calls while Marcus and I watched TV- they gave him something to help calm him-
I think at this point I did call Pastor Larry and Pastor T called- they spoke into my life however I do not remember what they said - sorry - I was completely numb and overwhelmed and at this point I just wanted some encouragement because I was bottoming out- fast-My world was becoming something I did not know of- realize I am writing after the fact of all this being done.
about an hour or so later -Marcus was having another meltdown- and then snap back to I want to pray for the baby- My thought was what in the world -wild man sane man wild man-
So what are my thoughts at this time- I am so so glad that I finally made the gut wrenching decision- each time there was a meltdown it confirmed for me the right decision- the much needed decision.
so we were waiting and then the ambulance came to take him to the crisis center- I was brave and strong until they rolled him out the door- what did I just do- saved his life and mine- but why do I feel so horrible-
these were my thoughts-
As he was in the crisis center my mind was not functional at all and for me I did not like that feeling whatsoever I had to have others think for me ask questions take over my Fusion group- all week this was me- a vegetable- thinking how is this going to change will I feel safe when he comes home- honestly I did not feel comfortable the first night so again we stayed with the tobias'
Am I going to be able to trust him- how- am I going to deal with this on my own what if he comes after me-
I had to live through that to realize that several factors have occured during this time-
Marcus got help- most important- I realized there is nothing like doing something like this to someone you love for their benefit to help them- no matter how much it hurt you- My strength only came from God this week- and the faith of friends lifting us up in prayer walking beside me- and carrying us when needed-
Marcus received finally the meds that are working for him- so much-
We have overcome so much in this last month- God surely had his way on it all-
I have truly learned to ask for help when needed and not wait til you are at your breaking point-
I know God is working and can still heal Marcus of all the wounds he entailed as a young child
Things are getting better and finally I feel good -truly- in my heart - we will still have bumps but I truly in my heart of hearts know we will make it-
I think often of where Marucs would be now if God had not chosen me as his mom- He knew Marcus need someone that would fight for him to be who God created rather then the environment

Day by Day - Moment by Moment we will and have overcome the worst month ever. God is so real so faithful

Friday, October 3, 2008

Happy Birthday Dakota

Today is my nephews 7th brithday - I remember whenhe was born - I told me sister I do not do humans so I am not staying in the room- well that changed of course a lot changed in 31 + hours of labor - she ended up having an emergency c-section because the little booger did not want to come out-
I saw him when he was minutes old- and held him- wow birth is amazing -now is a goof ball- Happy Birthday Dakota - Lori and Stacy you have a fine young man
I am proud to be his aunt.

I am home alone tonight- and it is very quiet- I have to work tomorrow AM and then Dakotas b-day in the afternoon- so Lori and Stacy are watching Marcus this evening and tomorrow until I pick him up

Thursday, October 2, 2008

We DID IT!!!!



What did we do? We made it through a month and half of school for the first time since we have been a family and we are not changing schools- A miracle it is-

You may not understand what it is like to change schools every year because your child has behavior issues (of which not his doing - his choices yes but he was not properly disciplined) anyway-kindergarten we went to Aberdeen within the first month- how I love those people there- they were willing to work with us not matter what-


then 1st grade Sandpine- they were willing to work with us but Marcus needed more- within the first month off to Lake Myrtle- been there ever since- and could not be happier- Marcus is doing well and I am happy - his behavior is great actually-


academically 3rd grade math and readin - this is so good considering 3 years ago he did not know his colors let a lone read or know letters.


Each month each year we have had a struggle or two or three well you get the picture- but each year it gets better-

Struggles yes- but Strength comes through struggle so by the time he is 18 I should be stronger then anything-

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I can...

I can do this- tonight was a test for me after service - I am tired this evening because it has just been a long week and work is exhausting so I was tested and I think I did very well and Jordan said so too- He made me smile why read on and I will tell you

Marcus had a good day - long day - but good- before and after care went well- day by day

so he was informed that he needed to behave after service and before school in the AM in order to go to church Wednesday Nights- so here is what happened

He was playing ball with Jordon- he loves Jordon- and he said one more time and he did and then he wanted lemonade which he had some and drank it- he wanted more I said no he had water in the car - no he did not want that so he called me a name and stuck his tongue out- well disrespect in this form or any form is not tolerated so he gets a consequence soap or spanking his choice- but he went into anger mode (he does it when he is tired- I am catching on to his actions now) not bad- I got his arm and he started his little bit - Jordon said do you want help I said hold on- so I got Marcus tried huggin him but he was not into that so I was able to rub his back and tell him to breathe - he calmed down fairly fast and Cathy offered a sticker after he apologized- God is truly helping me deal with him- cause I was tired.

So we are walking out and Jordon was behind me and said you are a good mommy- thanks Jordon that made me feel good-

Marcus was good on the way home we talked about the good choices he made regarding how fast he calmed down-

Got home and he bascially melted in my arms as he fell alseep very quickly.